One small step and then another one

One day this week I opened the morning newspaper and just laid my head down on the table and cried. The sad part is I don’t even remember what it was. There’s something new every day, and there’s no bottom.

Like so many people, I’ve overcome a lot in life, and after the drama of youth, I’m happy to be happy. On the cusp of 70, I want to enjoy my time on the planet and ignore everything that isn’t pleasant. But there’s a tiny problem. I have all these quotes dancing around in my head, and one of them is about what happens when good men do nothing. Something about the triumph of evil.

I keep singing Guns of Brixton. The Clash.

The money feels good
And your life you like it well
But surely your time will come
As in Heaven as in Hell

Or maybe a little Pink Floyd. Wish You Were Here.

So, so you think you can tell
Heaven from hell? Blue skies from pain?
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil? Do you think you can tell?

So, I guess I’m in it. Not happily, I’ll admit that. I try not to think about it all the time. I try to remember I still have a great life, and there is much goodness and beauty to behold. Dale and I still make each other laugh. I’ll write what I need to write, say what I need to say, donate money to organizations fighting the good fight and otherwise protest when I can.

One small step and then another one.

For the record, NostraDonna predicted weeks ago that Trump and his cronies were using tariffs to game the stock market. I Googled it multiple times and found nothing to support my suspicions. Even Dale said, oh, no, that’s a stretch. Now, insider trading news is all over the place, and I hope somebody somewhere gets nailed over it.

What I’m eating

We had leftover roast chicken, so Dale made chicken tortilla soup yesterday, and it was spectacular. I grew up eating Mexican food in Southern California, but I had never even heard of this until sometime in the 90s and had my first bowl in South Carolina, if you can believe that.

Ours is a spicy base made with fire roasted tomatoes, garlic, onions and poblano peppers seasoned with a Pendery’s chili powder called Fire and Smoke (not for the feint of heart). The shredded chicken goes in toward the end. We serve it in big bowls, and then we each do our own toppings – crumbled queso fresco, chopped cilantro, avocado chunks, fried tortilla strips and a wedge of lime. A frosty beer to go with!

The recipe makes four servings, so we freeze half of it. When that second one goes, we’re always thinking about roasting another chicken just so we can have the soup again. We never get sick of it.

Over the weekend, Dale grilled a chuck roast. We called it Chunk ‘O Beef. I am sometimes known as Side Dish Mama, so to live up to the hype, I made zucchini sauteed with onions and mushrooms along with potato halves stuffed with sour cream and chives and topped with cheddar cheese. It was warm enough to eat outside, which was great.

I know the price of eggs is all the rage, but someone needs to investigate the price of chives. I should really try growing my own.

What I’m watching

I canceled Amazon Prime but still have access until mid-May, when it expires. That means I’m squeezing in Bosch Legacy. It’s good, but I’m pretty much done with that series. I’ve missed my shows on PBS Passport.

Dale doesn’t watch much TV, but we are both enjoying Matlock with Kathy Bates. I like her as an actor, and I also feel a personal connection. Like me, Kathy is BRCA-positive and has had both ovarian and breast cancer. There aren’t many of us walking around.

What I’m reading

I read Countdown City, the second book in the Last Policeman Trilogy by Ben Winters. An asteroid headed for Earth is expected to destroy the planet within months, and the story follows a young detective as everything around him devolves. One might think it would be depressing, considering our current situation, but I have not found that to be the case. It’s interesting to see how people cope, particularly how they cope with the unknown. There are lessons to be learned. I can’t wait to see how it ends.

Previously, I’ve mentioned Kills Well with Others by Deanna Raybourn, and it turns out she’s quite a prolific writer. I thoroughly enjoyed A Curious Beginning, the first in the Veronica Speedwell mysteries. The setting is Victorian England, and Veronica is by her own definition an “old maid.” However, she’s also a butterfly expert and world traveler with a mysterious past that begins to unravel. Yes, there’s murder. And perhaps a bit of romance?

I have three library books by my bedside, and the clock is ticking, so I need to get moving on them. Our library has done away with overdue fees, but for me, that pressure to get them back in time will never go away. I’ll report on those books in due time. Get it??? Due time?

Our first protest

Dale and I went to an April 5 Hands Off protest! Neither one of us had ever been to a protest before, although once back in the 80s, we joined a small group of women and drove our Fiat 124 Spider convertible through the streets of Chambersburg, Pa. shouting, “Hey, Hey, What Do You Say? Ratify the ERA!”

A lot of good that did.

I signed us up, but I didn’t really want to go. I was looking for an excuse to get out of it, but Dale persisted. He gets points for leading the way, but I clearly outperformed him on signage. We both feel like we could do better next time.

The signs were amazing, and some were downright hilarious. Much to my regret, I didn’t get any good pictures, but I think my favorite was a picture of Trump and the words, Does this ass make my sign look big?

There were two nearby events. One required going into downtown Sacramento. We are complete novices on the downtown area, so we went with the one in Roseville, another suburb. The protest was outside a big mall, so parking was a breeze. It’s about a 30-minute drive from our house.

Roseville is fairly conservative by California standards, but the streets were packed. My guess is several thousand were there. It was incredible. Lots and lots of people drove by waving, thumbs up and honking in support. A few flipped us off, but that’s OK. I’ve flipped off plenty of anti-abortion protesters in my day.

We stayed almost two hours. They warned us there would be no bathrooms other than in the mall, so without doing a full Cory Booker, we decided to leave when we had to pee.

Dale and I both had tears in our eyes much of the time. Just to know that so many of our neighbors understand the threats we face was so gratifying. There were also a lot of signs with variations on Hate Doesn’t Make America Great or Make America Nice Again.

After a hard day of protest, we came home and Dale grilled up some bison burgers, and we went to bed early.

We will do this as many times as we have to. If for some reason you can’t quite see yourself in the streets, depending on the location, you might be able to drive by the protest site and honk in support. Such a simple act, but we could feel the energy.

The people are rising!

Cats and cars

I was quickly scanning the news and saw something about cat tariffs. I’m like, come on, this is ridiculous! Enough is enough! Will they stop at nothing?

Then I looked again and saw it was car tariffs. Oh. So different, cats and cars. One is practically a necessity and the other is just transportation.

While I’m not up for political anger today, and believe me, I have plenty, I will share my Amazon boycott is going great. My original goal was to reduce my spending on Amazon by 50 percent, but I might go the distance. I have not purchased a single thing from Amazon this year!

My Prime expires in May, and I’m pretty sure I will cancel it. And Dale is canceling his Washington Post subscription. Not needing you, Jeff, you meddling prick oligarch.

What I’m eating

We had a couple of nice days, and Dale cut up a chicken and smoked it on the grill. It was just gorgeous – I call it mahogany chicken. The first night we had it with roasted potato salad made with fennel and a sour cream/mayonnaise mix. He had me at fennel. Yum.

Then we had the leftover chicken chopped up in a salad with spring greens, red onion, mandarin oranges, spiced walnuts, crumbled gorgonzola cheese and homemade raspberry vinaigrette.

We finished that bad boy up with chicken tacos. As is often the case, we had a lot of filling, so some of that got frozen to be used later in burritos and such.

Oh, and I made one of my faves … Instant Pot bison curry with spinach and coconut milk. I made homemade naan to go with. Two servings went into the freezer.

Actually, we’ve been going through the freezer, which is rewarding in its own way. And our freezer food is most excellent. We’re back to cold and rainy weather, so tonight is soup. We had two individual servings of soup, so Dale’s having the white bean and sausage, and I’m going for the turkey carcass soup I made after Thanksgiving.

I’m making cheddar and red pepper drop biscuits to go with. We like carbs in this house.

What I’m watching

I thought I would miss the shows on Amazon Prime, but I don’t, so I will not have a problem giving them up when my Prime expires. I also decided I watch very little Netflix, so that got axed as well. For subscriptions, I’m down to the Classic Sci Fi Movie Channel and PBS Passport.

What can I say? I love PBS Passport, and I spent some time loading up my list with great shows. I finished The Mountain Detective. Hopefully, new seasons are forthcoming. I think it was the last episode where they showed a view of Alex’s butt as he got in the shower, and if all else fails, that’s worth another look.

For some reason, I really like the French shows. The content is excellent, and the language is soothing. Now I’m watching The Paris Murders featuring Chloe, an “intuitive” profiler who helps solve cases in the Paris homicide division. I like it a lot, and there are bunches of seasons, so that’s good.

A few I added to my list include: Poldark, Howard’s End and Prime Suspect.

What I’m reading    

I finally got The Onyx Storm from the library, and I just couldn’t get into it. I read the first two in the series and enjoyed them very much, but I think they really are targeted to a younger audience. The sex scenes are sort of silly and adolescent, in my humble opinion. Maybe I need to read about old people getting it on.

Kills Well with Others by Deanna Raybourn was a fun read. This is the second in her series about four women who happen to be retired assassins, but alas, they are called back to active duty.

And I’m still on my Irish crime kick. Broken Harbor by Tana French is a crime novel but more psychological than most. It was twisted, I’ll say that.

Just today I finished The Killing of the Tinkers by Ken Bruen. This was the second in his Jack Taylor series. I love these books, but you have to like it dark. He’s an alcoholic ex-policeman who finds trouble and sometimes solves crimes. The author laces the drama with lots of literary and musical references.

Weekend at Bernie’s

I’ve spent a lot of time trying to sort out my thoughts on the current political drama, but I can’t quite get there. Nothing makes sense to me anymore. Every time I land on an idea or form an opinion about what is happening in America and what to do about it, doubt or misinformation creeps in, and there I am, stuck in Lodi again.

While I’m not afraid to criticize the government or those who fuck with it, I’ve thought about quitting or at least changing the subject because it’s too damned depressing. But if there was ever a time to speak up about injustice, this is it.

All that to say I gave AOC some money. Bernie’s next. With their “Fighting Oligarchy” tour, these two are showing great leadership in the face of billionaire bad guys running amok and threatening all aspects of American life. I used to think Bernie and AOC were too far left and ruined it for the rest of us well-meaning Democrats.

Now I see they have a point. After the current administration kicked in, I was fired up to save democracy and would have been happy to go back to the way it was. Status quo was fine with me. Sure, I knew our form of government was flawed, but I figured we could sort that out once we stopped the bleeding.

Bernie and AOC are opening my eyes to the reality that economic inequality is at the core of what’s wrong with our country. Until now, I mostly ignored it because even though I grew up in a low-income working class family, I was able to climb my way out. The system pretty much worked for me.

However, the system pretty much sucks for a lot of people. I was entrenched in this idea they probably made bad choices or didn’t have the will rise above it, but I now accept that what worked for many of us when we ventured out into the labor pool 50-something years ago isn’t the key to success today or tomorrow. Everything has changed.

There is a lot of bad stuff going down right now. It’s a lot to absorb, and any kind of discussion with friends and family usually ends in a food fight. Perhaps I’m naive, but what if we talked about how we can make our economy work for everyone? That conversation has the potential to expand across all parties and all ideologies. And that gives me a tiny glimmer of hope.

Ready? I’ll go first. How about everyone paying their fair share of taxes?

Resistance? There’s an app for that

If you’re still on the fence about whether to contact your elected officials about Trump, Musk and other bad actors in Washington, there’s a tool that might make it easier for you. The tool is a free app named 5 Calls.  

I downloaded it a couple of weeks ago and have found it exceptionally helpful. Once you plug in your address, the app identifies your legislators. The home screen lists top issues and provides talking points that articulate the progressive position.

Yes, the app is proudly partisan. And non-profit.

Once you decide what you’re going to say, you click on who you want to call first and the process begins. I arrived for an appointment early last week and thought, oh, I have time to make a few calls. I sat in my car and used the app to contact my legislators about the spending bill.

While I prefer emails, I’ve read calling is more effective. Speaking spontaneously is a challenge, but it got easier when I figured out shorter is better. On my first attempt, I got a voice mail and was cut off after I blathered on too long. Now I just say my name, where I live and then one or two sentences about the issue. I try to remember they’re probably just keeping some sort of log in favor or against, and so that’s really all you have to say.

What I’m eating

Late last year, I made a list of our winter comfort foods, and we’ve been knocking them off one by one. Dale made chile verde last week, and I made flour tortillas to go with. There’s only one more to go – venison meatloaf.

The weather is starting to warm up, although we’re getting another week of cooler temperatures and rain, so there’s still time to finish the job. Tomorrow is the big washout, so I’m thinking venison meatloaf, asparagus and garlic mashed potatoes.

Dale bought some gorgeous artichokes, so I cooked those this morning, and they’re chilling in the fridge. They’re huge, so we’ll just have artichokes for dinner. Occasionally I make aioli but most of the time we just make a dipping sauce from store-bought mayonnaise mixed with some good olive oil.

There’s still coconut cake in the freezer, so, you know, tick tock, tick tock. That might be a tasty breakfast on a cold rainy morning. Oh? Is that tomorrow? What a coincidence.

What I’m watching

My original pledge to reduce spending on Amazon by 50 percent morphed, and it’s pretty close to a complete boycott. I’m no longer watching movies or shows on Amazon. There are plenty of other streaming services to choose from.

We like a bad sci-fi movie on Friday nights with pizza, and we used to order them on Amazon. But I switched to the Classic Sci Fi Movie Channel, and it has been so fun. Attack of the Giant Leeches, Attack of the Crab Monsters, She Demons. Only the finest. Sometimes the sound quality isn’t the best, but we make do.

I’m also burning through season 2 of The Mountain Detective on PBS Passport.  Former policeman Alex Hugo leaves the big city to find peace in the French Alps but ends up confronting violence in paradise. The show is in French with subtitles.

I’ve read it’s filmed on location, and the scenery is breathtaking. Too bad about all that crime!

Alex is Mr. Mountain Man and never leaves home without climbing ropes and all that stuff. When they’re talking about a place they need to go, he might say something like, “that’s a three-day walk.” I sort of love that, and even though I have no interest in climbing, just seeing an older man in good physical condition stomping about the mountains keeps me motivated to do my exercises.

What I’m reading

The library is my friend. My recently completed list includes:

Locked In by Jussi Adler-Olsen. This is the last of the Department Q series featuring Danish detective Carl Mørck. Sometimes finales suck, but this was great, and I absolutely loved the ending.

Pro Bono by Thomas Perry. A young lawyer who specializes in financial crime tries to help a young widow recover money embezzled from her late husband’s accounts. Oh, and the lawyer has a shady past.

The Last Policeman by Ben Winters. Published in 2012, this is the first in a trilogy about a young detective trying to solve crimes even though everyone knows the world will end in six months when an asteroid collides with Earth. It’s not as dark as you would think, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Can’t wait to read the other two.

Guide Me Home by Attica Locke. Another finale to a three-part series featuring Texas Ranger Darren Mathews. I tell myself I don’t want to read about current events in fiction, but it’s actually way better than reading the news. Let’s hear it for the arts!

Darren, who is black, spent most of his career fighting white supremacists and framed a bad guy for murdering a member of the Aryan Brotherhood because he wouldn’t let a black man go to prison for killing him. Now Darren is facing indictment. And plenty of self-loathing. It’s a compelling story.

My physical therapy journey

This month marks a year since I started physical therapy. I thought I’d share the highlights of my journey … you know, just in case your body isn’t functioning as advertised. If physical therapy is an option, this might help you weigh the pros and cons.

I originally started physical therapy after several bouts of debilitating sciatica, presumably caused by spinal stenosis. Other body parts soon cried out for attention, and my PT helped me work through those issues as well. Medicare is my primary insurance, and Tricare for Life is my secondary. Other than deductibles, I have paid zero out-of-pocket expenses.

When I first started, I went weekly. Since then, I’ve averaged twice a month. During my 30-minute visit, we review my home exercise program, and the PT uses manual therapy to treat whatever hurts the most that day.  

My home program started with exercises to strengthen my core. There’s no universal prescription, but my routine includes dead bugs, forearm planks, Pallof holds and slow sit-ups using a resistance band to help get me up and down. It takes about an hour to complete them all, and I usually do them every other day. It’s a commitment.

It took about six weeks of regular exercise to feel any difference, but I’ve had very little back or leg pain since. I had one flare-up around Christmas, but it only lasted a couple of days. Early in my treatment, he massaged the glutes to relieve sciatic pain, but my back has been remarkably responsive to the exercise regime.

My other bad actors are knees and wrists. We shall start with wrists. I broke both of them about 15 years ago, and they haven’t been the same since. I’ve had tests and seen specialists, and the only thing they found is thumb arthritis.

I usually wear thumb braces at night, and they help a lot. My PT also massages my wrists and the base of my thumb, and that is hugely helpful. I try to copy his technique between visits. One of the exercises for my back also helps my wrists, and that is the marching carry. I do high-step marches around the house for a few minutes with my arms hanging down but carrying 8-pound weights. I started with 5-pounds and am working my way up.

My wrists are better. I just have to be careful – it’s easy to over-do an exercise and go back to square one.

Both knees have been abused for many years overdoing it in sports activities, but the right one is mostly OK. The left one hurts a lot, and we’ve spent months working on some relief. We started with lunges and squats to strengthen the quadriceps, and that was working well. By September, I had graduated to leg extensions on the machines. But it was too much, and my knee went batshit crazy.

I am no stranger to pain, so believe me when I say this was bad. But there was no popping or anything like that. Just intense burning pain that would come on fast and then go away. The doctor ordered an MRI, which shows cartilage damage and a possible meniscus tear, but the she said that could be degenerative and not necessarily an acute injury.

The worst of the pain was gone by late November. I was back to whatever passes for normal by the beginning of the year, so the PT put me back on leg extensions but this time at home first using no weights at all and then adding 2.5-pound weights. I just increased to 5-pound weights, and so far, so good.

This is the best my knees have felt in a long, long time. As I’ve read about chronic knee pain, you  have to think of it as “cartilage time.” Nothing happens fast. My PT wants me to keep working with the ankle weights with a long-term plan to go eventually back to the machines. I suspect lunges and squats are in my future as well.

I was thinking today – geez – what’s this weird feeling? Oh, yeah, my body feels pretty good! It has not been a perfect journey. That little setback with my knees was brutal, and I wanted to give up. But I knew quitting wasn’t going to get me out of this hole. I did not want to be hobbling around on bad knees forever if I could do anything about it. I saw the solution as a matter of patience and persistence.

And that’s my final thought if you are considering physical therapy. It’s not a spa. You have to make yourself do these damn exercises, but the results for me have been worth it. I’m active … walking, swimming and playing golf, sometimes with a little pain and sometimes not, but I’m still active. The only thing I take for pain is the occasional Advil and have so far avoided surgery.

If this is as good as it gets, I’ll take it, but I am hopeful continuing PT will bring further improvement. I keep joking with the PT that I’ll be 70 in September — he’s got until then to get me fixed up. Maybe it’s crazy talk, but I want to start my 70s feeling strong.

Put your oxygen mask on first

In the continuing adventures of Comrade Trump Goes to Washington, I find myself angry and depressed. I know what you’re saying … hey, lady, take a number. Still, I continue to ruminate because I am not happy being unhappy.

Today I thought I’d share where I am headed because you can read about Outrage of the Day anywhere, but maybe a nugget or two on how to stay sane might be a good way for me to contribute.

Like many of you, I am healthy and have a good life. I do not take any of it for granted. While I want to do my part to stop this madness, reading about it and thinking about it is probably worse than living it. Yet here we are.

I rejected my first option, which was to drink heavily and stay in bed until it’s over. Instead, I asked myself, is there a way to compartmentalize? To do the right thing but somehow enjoy life?

Here’s where I landed:

  • Turn off the fire hose. I’m all about staying informed, but I don’t need to be convinced. All of it is bad, and some of it is worse than the rest. Immersing myself in news and opinion does not make it better. Seriously, it wrecks me. I can feel it in my body. I can feel it in my brain. I don’t sleep well. So, I’m reading enough to be articulate, enough so I can share my opinion when it has the potential to make a difference.
  • Accept the burden. No one is coming to save us. You can hope the courts will fix it or the Republicans will implode, but in the end, each of us must stand up for Democracy. We can all help in different ways, but we can’t look away and hope for the best. I’ve already said I’m not much of an activist and don’t want to be, but this is reality. Sign on the dotted line.
  • Know your limits. Even the smallest gestures count. I may not be a superstar in this opposition, but I can participate in some way without guilt or shame. I’m donating to organizations fighting it all in court. I’ve been writing and calling my elected officials. I had to let go of all the “why bother” doubt about whether my effort makes an impact. My new mantra is assume it does and then do it again.
  • Enjoy simple pleasures. We might be hanging on by a thread, but I still believe in the inalienable rights of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That’s kind of what this whole thing is all about, but it was still a bit of a shock to realize it’s OK to tune out and enjoy yourself.

In other words, put your oxygen mask on first.

Fox guarding the henhouse

I’m depressed about Trump, Musk, Vance, et al. Maybe writing about it helps me some, but I wonder if it just amplifies everything. The movers and shakers will make their mark one way or the other, but I still think the answer is for ordinary citizens to do small things you hope will make a difference and then go on and try to live a happy life no matter what.

Easier said than done, that’s for sure. I told myself, just do one thing today and then think about dinner. There’s usually a Law & Order rerun on Mondays. I hear that music, and I just kind of sigh in relief. Dun-dun.

Outrage of the day is Musk trying to get access to the IRS files. I don’t even know why I bothered to write my elected representatives, because it has probably happened by now, but we can only try. I still can’t get through on the phone, so I’m using the email feature on their websites. This is my message to my Democratic senators. As always, feel free to steal anything that resonates with you.

Please do whatever you can to stop Elon Musk from accessing anything, most recently the IRS and our taxpayer records. This is a gross violation of privacy and very frightening to the average American who pays taxes. Musk is unelected and has no right to anything, let alone our personal data. He does billions of dollars’ worth of business with the government, and he’s allowed to look at the finances? We would not let any other defense contractor in the world do that. All that, and Tesla didn’t pay any federal taxes last year, but he’s snooping around trying to stick it to honest citizens? Please stop him.

The next one went to my Republican congressman. He has a thing on his website about how ridiculous it is to think just because Trump hired Elon Musk as an accountant that it’s a threat to democracy.

I read your words about hiring Elon Musk as an accountant, wondering why some people think this is a threat to democracy. Because it is!  We, the people, did not hire or elect Elon Musk to anything. And now he’s trying to get access to the IRS records. Talk about fox guarding the henhouse.

This is a gross violation of privacy and very frightening to the average American who pays taxes. Musk is unelected and has no right to anything, let alone our personal data. He does billions of dollars’ worth of business with the government, and he’s allowed to look at the finances? We would not let any other defense contractor in the world do that. 

From what I’ve read, you are currently on board with the president and his administration violating the rights of average citizens, but I’m still writing because I hope at some point you will reconsider. Please reflect on your elected position and the oath you swore to defend the constitution. I can only believe you had a calling to serve your country, and I thank you for that. I may not like some of the conservative policies you support, but I respect differences of opinion. You can still make a difference and advance your agenda without burning down the house.

I have not spent any money on Amazon since I made a pledge to reduce my spending there by 50 percent. Thanks to your comments, I canceled my Amazon subscription to PBS Masterpiece and made a donation to PBS. Now I have PBS Passport, and you were right. Everything I could ever want is there.

What I’m eating

I’m still quite smitten with my sort of sweet but savory oatmeal. My favorite so far starts with one serving of regular rolled oats. When it comes out of the microwave, I pour it in a bowl and top it with about one tablespoon each of unsweetened coconut, currants and walnuts. Then I drizzle a little olive oil over the top. Oh, and a sprinkle of sea salt.

Tonight Dale’s making grilled Gochujang Burgers with Spicy Slaw from the NY Times. This will be our third time around. Because. It. Is. Delicious. If you can’t get through the firewall, the same recipe is here.

You start with a concoction of gochujang, garlic, rice vinegar, sugar, olive oil and sesame oil. Half of it gets mixed in with ground pork for the burgers and the other half is used for a tangy slaw made with carrots, bean sprouts, cucumbers and scallions. Put that on a toasted buttered bun with maybe a schmear of mayo, and it is heaven.

What I’m watching

Now that I’m on PBS Passport, I’m continuing to watch All Creatures Great and Small. It’s not my normal crime genre, but I just like that show. Another one I’ve started that isn’t on the crime spectrum is Seaside Hotel. It’s in Danish with subtitles and  follows the lives of guests and employees at a North Sea hotel prior to World War II. I haven’t gotten very far, but I like it.

On the crime front, also on PBS Passport, I’m enjoying The Mountain Detective. It’s about a former policeman who leaves the city for the mountains and discovers, guess what? Violence and crime. It’s in French with subtitles.

What I’m reading

I’m not reading much of anything. I think I’m too agitated. Two of my books on hold at the library came in, but it turns out the library is closed for repairs to the HVAC system. Talk about annoyed. I was able to get through to a librarian, who is going to have the books transferred to a nearby library, but that will be Wednesday at the earliest.

There are plenty of books in the house I could read, but I’m just not into them right now. I did finish kind of a fun read called Killers of a Certain Age by Deanna Raybourn. Four women retired from their jobs as professional assassins and discover someone is trying to kill them. The sequel, Kills Well with Others, is out next month.

A few words about hope

There’s a lot of grim news out there, and to be honest, I’ve had a difficult time finding hope. Ah, but then I remembered hope is always late for the party, showing up shiny and clean after all the hard work has been done.

Me and hope go way back, so I know you can’t achieve anything worthwhile by getting lost in outcomes. One lesson I’ve learned from just about every bad thing I’ve had to crawl my way out of is the power of a simple work ethic.

Keep your head down. Do what you think needs to be done, and hope will show up eventually. Late as usual.

My personal FU Amazon Challenge is going great, in that I have not purchased anything from them since I made the pledge to reduce my spending there by at least 50 percent. I’ve been looking at alternatives, and I don’t foresee any problems getting what I need.  

My digital expenses paled in comparison to regular purchases, but I acknowledge it’s probably my weak link. For example, I subscribe to PBS Masterpiece through Amazon. I tried to see if I could disentangle myself from Amazon and go directly to PBS.

The answer is not exactly. To the best of my knowledge, the PBS Masterpiece channel on Amazon is customized and includes lots of shows that aren’t available on PBS Passport, which would be my other option. Specifically, I don’t think PBS Passport has the same selection of international crime shows – my weakness. It’s $5.99 a month, so I’m not going to worry about it.

I had to remind myself this is about Jeff Bezos and not a boycott of all offensive retailers … because there is no shortage. Few will pass the purity test, so I’m just focusing on alternatives to Amazon. First thing’s first.

I did make an exception for one online source of vitamins and supplements that overplayed its homey roots.

“Here at Swanson Health Products, we’re not too big on talkin’ about ourselves. But if ya would like to get to know us better, this’ll be the place. We come from humble, Midwestern roots but when it comes to wellness, we sure know a thing or two. In fact, we’ve been at this whole healthier livin’ thing for over 50 years.”

I’m sure they are lovely people, and their prices and selections are great, but I draw the line at excessive g-dropping. Ya’ll are goin’ to have to talk like educated folks before I go a givin’ you my money.  

Robert Reich on Substack listed seven nonprofits that are litigating against Trump. I checked all the charity watchdog sites – Guidestar, CharityWatch and Charity Navigator – which are slightly different but all focused on giving donors visibility into how efficiently a charity will use your dollars.

I won’t bother with details on how they calculate ratings, but I think you can tell these are top-tier organizations. With Charity Navigator, the 4-star rating starts at 90 percent, so that should give you some perspective. Also, I personally believe Common Cause is probably excellent, but no one has rated them yet. Full disclosure – I gave ACLU $100.

NonprofitGuideStarCharityWatchCharity Navigator
American Civil Liberties UnionPlatinumA4-Star 98%
Citizens for Responsibility and EthicsBronzeNA4-Star 100%
Public CitizenGoldNA4-Star 99%
Center for Biological DiversityPlatinumA4-Star 99%
Environmental Defense FundPlatinumB+4-Star 91%
Southern Poverty Law CenterGoldNA4-Star 99%
Common CauseNANANA

Channeling fury

The Republicans sure are flooding the zone with horrifying bullshit, but I believe the greatest threat so far is Elon Musk’s illegal takeover of the federal treasury. This goes beyond outrage of the day. This is a coup.

Although I tried to call my U.S. Senators and Representative, I couldn’t get through, so I sent emails. I’m still trying to call, but I get a busy signal or “this mailbox is full.” When I finally do connect, I will focus on one issue per message.

Here’s what I wrote:

I am a defense industry retiree and U.S. Army veteran. I am terrified by the Trump administration’s attack on democracy and am eager to see my elected officials fight back. The attack is so broad in scope, it’s overwhelming to regular Americans. I can imagine it is for you, too. But now is the time to rise up and do the job you were elected to do.

Social justice is important, and we can never lose sight of that, but I believe Trump is using those issues to distract us. I’m asking you to follow the money. I’m no expert, but I see three immediate priorities: reverse these ill-conceived tariffs; get Elon Musk out of our government and strip him of access to the treasury; and oppose all efforts to reduce taxes for corporations and billionaires. 

Thank you.

Please contact your elected representatives. Feel free to use anything I’ve written that resonates with you. Oh, and I checked the box that said I wanted a reply. Jeez, this thing with Elon is affecting my sleep.

Last night I enjoyed a cannabis sleep gummy, and it really did help. I take it at least an hour before I actually want to go to sleep – they take some time to get through your system. If you can get it, I like Kanha Cannabis Infused Tranquility Gummies. Each gummy has 5 mg of THC. That’s a little much for me, so I cut them in half.

The FU Amazon Challenge

On the subject of billionaires behaving badly, I always knew Amazon had a dark side, but I chose to look the other way and admired Jeff Bezos for coming up with such a great idea. That time is gone.

I calculated how much I spent on Amazon last year. It was more than I’m prepared to admit. But then I treat Amazon like the corner store. Need dental floss? Push a button and boom. Need a new coffee pot? Push a button and boom. Need a rug? A Vitamix? Cat food? Coconut milk? Push a button and boom.

My spending on digital purchases wasn’t as jaw-dropping. I use the library a lot, but still, I spent a fair chunk of change on books, movies, music and TV shows.

After reviewing my purchases, I only found a few things that would be difficult to find elsewhere. While this is not a complete FU, I’m making a pledge to reduce my total Amazon spending by 50 percent in 2025. I am confident I can do way better than that, but I thought it would be good to under promise and overdeliver.

Will you join me?

To help with the transition, I’m checking out other online sources that aren’t owned by douchebags. I also downloaded the Target app, since I will be buying a lot more things in person. I hate the idea of wandering through the aisles not knowing where anything is, but the app includes aisle numbers, so I can make a shopping plan and include that on my list. I’m told there’s a mapping feature, too, but I haven’t explored that yet.

Dale is doing his part to feed and sustain the reluctant activist (and channeling his fury) by making chili and playing The Byrds.