I had a wonderful visit with my friend and her wife, who is being treated for cancer. Since I was on a road trip, I carried my big tote-like purse, as opposed to my usual gender-neutral crossover bag, and the first thing my friend said is, “That’s a girly purse. Where did that come from?” All I could do is cry in defense:
It’s made of seatbelts!
And she was like, oh, OK. Seatbelt bags are from Harveys, and they are cool.
But I digress. We talked about lots of fun stuff but also cancer, which I’ve had twice. Both were girly cancers, by the way. In 1999, I had a variation of ovarian cancer that forms in the lining of the abdomen. It’s virtually the same disease, but it’s called Primary Peritoneal Cancer. I was diagnosed at Stage 3, Grade 3. My treatment was surgery and six cycles of chemotherapy — specifically Taxol and Carboplatin. I’ve been free of disease since my initial treatment.
A routine mammogram revealed early stage breast cancer in 2015. The treatment would normally be lumpectomy and radiation, but it turns out I have the BRCA 1 genetic mutation, which puts me in a special risk category, so my treatment was bilateral mastectomy. Other than post-mastectomy neuropathic pain, I’m fine. Topical cannabis keeps the neuropathy from becoming bothersome.
It turns out my friend’s wife is also being treated with Taxol and Carboplatin, as well as new immunotherapy medicine, which is quite promising. I was excited — I’m the poster girl for Taxol — and I wanted to give her hope that it would work on her as well as it worked on me. A toast to Taxol, to immunotherapy and to the people whose life’s work helps save us!
Then we started chatting about tips for getting through this mess. I mean, everybody has to do it their own way, but I tried to share a few of my best practices. I had already commented I liked her bald head. Wigs are fine if you need them, but I believe going bald in public is good survival behavior. It’s like a signal to yourself and to the world you are not afraid, even if you are. You are here to stay!
I believe in the mind-body connection. If there’s a time to bring your inner sunny optimist to the party, this is it. I asked if she sang.
What?
Do you sing?
I have a terrible singing voice, but I sang happy songs every day to lift my spirits. I know both young people and retirees who sing in groups for the pleasure of it, but for those of us who can’t carry a tune, I found a sing-a-long website hosted by the federal government. I’d sit at my computer with the door closed and no witnesses other than the cat. And I would sing.
My playlist included lots of Disney. My friend doesn’t like Disney because of stereotypes and such, and I agree, but you’ve got to hand it to them on the music. So positive! I just squint and look the other way on that whole princess thing.
Broadway musicals are another good source of happy inspiration. Most of my musicals are old school — I haven’t kept up with the new productions. Here’s my playlist from the website:
- When You Wish Upon a Star
- Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah
- Don’t Worry, Be Happy
- Bare Necessities
- Happy Talk
- I have Confidence in Me
- Oh, What a Beautiful Morning
- The Candy Man
- This Land is Your Land
Even many years after cancer, I continue to sing or hum songs (in a low voice) to keep me mellow. Dale calls it Radio Donna. I like Bare Necessities a lot. One of my old standbys is Impossible from Cinderella — but it’s not on the website.
When I was driving home from my visit, I scanned the stations on Sirius and found On Broadway. I heard Richard Kiley performing Man of La Mancha, and there I was cruising down the freeway singing along at the top of my lungs. I sound fantastic in the car!
What songs would you put on your happy playlist?
Great post! Don’t worry, be happy.
Excellent choice!
Me think, I’m a bit odd.
Songs which are melancholic make me feel better. Maybe in the sense of “you’re not alone with your weltschmerz”.
I think of Sinatra’s “When I was seventeen” or Tom Jones/Van Morrison’s “Sometimes we cry”.
Never would dare though a song of Ol’ Blue Eyes.
Random topic: What kind of crossbody bags do you carry? I’m always looking for a light AND nice bag. Not easy.
I do like the melancholy songs, but they don’t necessarily make me feel better! Good for you for knowing what you like.
As for the bags, I like Timbuk2. I look for manufacturers who make backpacks and then see if they also make crossbody bags. I do have a Brighton crossbody bag, but it’s actually a little girlier than I like. Can you order from REI? They have a nice selection of crossbody bags from different makers. They also sell Timbuk2.
Oh — and I just saw the seatbelt bags folks at Harveys make some. This is a little larger than I usually prefer, but I like it very much:
https://shopharveys.com/streamline-crossbody-indigo/
**to sing**
Sorry for the typo
This blue bag from Harveys is supercute.
Rei and Timbuk2 are a bit similar to Mandarina Duck which I can get easier, but aren’t a heart attack.