Although I occasionally snark about politics, I haven’t written what I would call a well-reasoned thought piece on current events. I grumble with the morning news, but then I let it go. All that bullshit is in a hot air balloon … I’ve cut the cord, and it’s floating away. I can’t reach it …
I’ve always felt a responsibility to speak out and lived much of my life fired up about every little thing. My contributions are small, but I served in the military, I vote, donate to good causes and even marched for equal rights a time or two. Oh, and writing letters to the editor about anything and everything was practically a part-time job.
Since I retired, it seems I have no fire in the belly. I’m not sure the fire is out completely, but retirement has certainly doused the flames.
I am enjoying simple pleasures. Food, books, the outdoors, art, love, sleep. This may be indulgent, but it’s fantastic to live life as I want and not be fucked with. Granted, in the cosmic sense, we’re all being fucked with, but I am profoundly grateful for my day-to-day life.
For some people, retirement is an opportunity to become more opinionated, and I admire them. That could still be an option for me as well. While I love my life, sometimes I feel kind of bad I don’t take a more active role in the topics of the day … unless the topic is dinner.
Maybe I just need more time to decompress from working, and the fire will return (if I even want it to return). As for political activism or at least civic consciousness, I suspect a lot of us go back and forth over the course of our lives. We all want to be responsible citizens, and sometimes we speak up, but sometimes there’s nothing we can add to the conversation.
I was probably a better writer when I was fired up. Now it appears I’m too damned happy to write compelling prose. But the truth is priorities can shift as we age. I rather like the absence of hormones and raw emotions, and if that’s what fueled good writing, good riddance.
Still, I enjoy sharing stories about retirement and the tail end of our journey through life. And I hope I’m a living example that aging isn’t bad – getting older can be the best experience ever. After two bouts of cancer and other unwelcome drama, I’m here for the party.
While I sometimes doubt myself, I am hopeful this blog will evolve as I evolve and that what I have to say will resonate. Cut myself some slack for chilling out a bit. All I know is happiness, for me, was a long climb up, and I’m hanging on tight.
How’s the fire in your belly?