1.28 arguments per toilet

Retirement home

Prior to retirement, we were living on the outskirts of Silicon Valley.

As in cha-ching.

While I had the income to support a hefty mortgage, we knew we’d have to move when I retired. Lots of factors went into our decision. I wrote about it here. We are quite happy with our choice, but we both made compromises that sometimes come back to bite.

I wanted a new house, because I didn’t want to deal with maintenance issues. Dale wanted an older house, because he likes well-established neighborhoods with trees. He doesn’t want to deal with maintenance issues, either, but trees! Golly, they’re green! I caved, and now we fight about maintenance issues.

replacing toilets

Our 20-year-old house is in great shape, but we are gradually upgrading original appliances. The current project is replacing all three toilets in our home, and so far, we’ve only had 1.28 gallons per flush arguments per toilet.

The toilets are heavy, and neither one of us should be schlepping them around. We’ve been buying them one at a time, and we managed to get them in and out of our Honda CRV without cruel or unusual punishment. We used leverage to scoot it up and down from the back end of the car and then drag it into the garage.

Two down and one to go when the brawling began. I just don’t know why this stuff is so hard for us. We can’t get through it without some sort of disagreement. The big one this time was about the downstairs toilet, where there are size limitations.

We already knew we’d need a round (not elongated) bowl. As for height, we like standard, although that’s increasingly hard to find. It seems most people like chair height or so-called comfort height. Depending on which brand you select, the difference is only an inch or two. However, the downstairs toilet has a ledge over it, so an inch or two could make a difference.

I went out to the garage and looked on the boxes of the other two. The height from floor to top of the tank lid is 30 ¾. We measured our current toilet, which is just over 28 inches tall. I didn’t think we could stay with the same style, because you have to be able to get the lid on and off, but Dale said it would “probably” work.

This is where I struggle. I’m like, what if we’re wrong? That will not be pleasant. I just wanted to talk through options, but he was annoyed with me for venturing into territory I know nothing about. However, I view this as my strength. While it’s true I know next to nothing about most home maintenance issues, that leaves me without preconceived notions, so I’m willing to explore previously unentertained options.

Except Dale does not find any of this entertaining. He got snooty with me, and I got snooty with him. I truly did not know the answer, but I wanted to talk through the questions. What if we unpacked one of the others and just set it up to see if it would fit? The cuckoo birds came out when I said that.

Then I had a scathingly brilliant idea. I’ll go to the Lowe’s website and compare all the measurements. As it happens, the other two toilets we purchased were comfort height. The same toilet in standard height is 28 ¼ inches floor to top of tank lid. Perfect for our space!

Dale agreed and off we went to Lowe’s. He won’t shop at Home Depot anymore because the co-founder is a Trump supporter. I’m not willful enough to do it on my own – I’m a slave to convenience – but if Dale is doing it, I’m proud to follow along. Anyway, Lowe’s had the toilet. We also purchased wax rings and supply lines, and as Gandalf said, my heart tells me they have some part to play, for good or ill, before this is over.

Now all we have to do it get a plumber in for the job. We could probably do it ourselves, but this is one of those situations where our relationship is more important than the cost savings. Time to throw money at it.

Neither one of us behaved particularly well, but Dale made up for his part of the drama by making breakfast tacos with homemade chorizo. Sure, feed me, and I’ll gladly fight with you about toilets. I made up for my part by getting out of his hair and playing bad golf in the mountains. Something about bad golf whips me back into submission.

Oh, and he got bonus points for trimming the Sego palms … a difficult job with lots of sharp pokeys. I regret to say he’s probably used to sharp pokeys after living with me for 40-plus years.

electric cars

Since we’re talking about technical things my girl brain doesn’t understand, I thought I’d share this article about electric vehicles written by John Kent, a wonderful friend I used to work with. He is obviously putting his retirement time to good use. John’s writing is great, and he has almost convinced me my next car will be electric.