Growing cannabis: a 30-day progress report

My cannabis plant looked healthy, but I didn’t see any growth over a week’s time and concluded it needed more light. Dale originally thought there was plenty of light but changed his mind because, oh, I don’t know, it’s practically winter? Dark and gloomy? What a shocker.

I went ahead and purchased an LED grow light and nearly blinded Dale during the installation. He said he would help put it up, but then he started backtracking. Like maybe there was something easier that didn’t involve ladders and finding a joist in the ceiling.

Neither one of us could find the joist. I said I would call a handyman, but Dale thought that was ridiculous. He said they don’t even pull into your driveway for less than $100, making homegrown cannabis not such a bargain after all. I explained I’ve been frugal about this whole project, but sometimes you just have to throw money at it.

Except I didn’t want to spend the money, either. I said I was going to return the light, which I purchased on Amazon – free shipping both ways. He thought that was best. I did the return online, and this particular item had to go to Kohl’s to get free shipping. Lowe’s is on the way to Kohl’s, so I figured I’d return it and then shop around for alternatives.

Dale suggested we go to Lowe’s first, to look for some sort of stand that could hold the light. I said I already initiated the return. What? He didn’t know how an Amazon return works. It’s a small thing, but it’s like discovering he doesn’t know where babies come from.

Lowe’s didn’t have anything that looked promising, and Dale finally agreed we should call the handyman service. I had to cancel the return, which is easy enough, but I hate doing and undoing. I accused him of making it up as he goes, saying whatever’s convenient, and he said I didn’t understand science or nature.

On the way home, I said what about asking our neighbor? He’s a contractor. Surely, he could find a joist. Dale said look, I know it’s legal, but I’m not sure our neighbor needs to know we’re growing pot. I said what if I remove all the evidence and just say we need a hook in the joist so we can hang a plant? Dale agreed that might work.

Our neighbor came over and even he had a hard time finding the joist, but mission accomplished! Dale put in the hook, and we hung the light. We couldn’t find the switch, so I said maybe you just plug it in. That’s what I did, and it worked great, but at that precise moment, the light was pointed directly at Dale’s face. He was fine after a few minutes, but still, I felt bad.

Everyone is happy again. The plant has been growing for 30 days. I think it’s a little behind schedule, due to the light issues and it not being particularly warm in our house. When it was all said and done, we had our usual “repair the damage” conversation. We misinterpret what each other says and both need to ask better questions to be sure we’re on the same page.

Hugs and kisses all around. Our anniversary is this month – 41 years – and sometimes it’s hard to believe we’ve pulled it off. We occasionally make things harder than they have to be, but we do eventually work it out and are on track to ride out eternity together.

With all the recent rain, we both felt cooped up and to accelerate our recovery, I played golf this morning, and Dale went for a run … as in must get out of house, preferably alone. The sun actually appeared! Perhaps the secret of a long and happy marriage, particularly in retirement, is finding that sweet spot between togetherness and personal space.

And good weather.