No bad cookies

I keep thinking it’s my birthday. You know, singing it twice to get the full 20 seconds when you wash your hands. Interestingly, Dale had never heard the version with you look like a monkey, and you act like one, too.

Crazy. Just to mess with me, he used to say he was in the witness protection program, and sometimes I wonder. Where did he really grow up? Who were his parents? Why doesn’t he know the monkey lyric?

The golf courses have closed here, so I’ve been taking long walks instead. Keeping my distance, certainly. There are a fair number of people walking, running and bicycling, but it’s easy to stay spread out. The college girls are home, jogging in their incredibly short shorts.

I saw one girl from afar, and I just kept staring. I’m sure she thought I was some sort of perv. I was convinced she was wearing support hose or something over her legs, because they were so damned perfect. When I got close, I could see it was just bare skin. Unblemished, undimpled. What a concept.

As for golf, there was a day when a closed golf course didn’t stop me. When we lived in South Carolina, it was common for a few people to show up at closed golf courses on a holiday and just walk the course alone. But when we moved to Texas, that was not allowed. Probably wasn’t in South Carolina, either, now that I think about it.

My favorite course locked the gate on holidays, but I played anyway. I parked on the side of the road and managed to climb over the gate with my pushcart and clubs. No one came to get me. I had a security clearance at the time and lived in fear of getting arrested and having my clearance pulled.

I thought about doing it now, but it’s illegal with the current order to stay home and just not smart. Plus, the restrooms are closed. That’s not a problem for men. The world is their toilet. I’ve actually seen men urinating on the fairway. Another reason not to play, wondering where your ball has been and all that.

Wii Golf is one of my favorite hunker down diversions. The dress code is relaxed. Jammies are allowed, even preferred. I’m trying not to overdo it. It’s like toilet paper rationing – one or two games a day. I’m way better at Wii Golf than I am at real golf, so it’s actually rather satisfying. My record is -14.

We like to keep a stash of homemade cookies in the freezer for when you absolutely positively need something sweet. Yesterday I made a batch of peanut butter cookies, but I added leftover chocolate chips. Maybe half a cup?

They don’t taste like peanut butter cookies. They taste like really good chocolate chip cookies with a hint of peanut butter in the background. Did I say that was a bad thing? During these stressful times, there are no bad cookies.

I’ve been walking on a tree-lined paved path in our neighborhood. It’s quite pleasant. The furthest I’ve ever gone on that particular route is a street called Charter. That’s my turnaround point. Who knows what comes after that? Today I am going to find out.