I’ve had a lot of “work” dreams and trying to make sense of them, I wondered whether it means I have unfinished business of some sort. I’m quite content with my retired life and do not want a job. So, what’s it all about, Alfie?
Dreams are so weird, and I don’t pretend to understand them. The work dreams are rarely good and usually replay the worst aspects of jobs I had during my career. My best guess is the dreams are a way for my mind to unravel the accumulated stress.
Yet there might be another take on it. When I mentioned the question about unfinished business to a friend, he said although I seemed quite content, he had to wonder if I was making the most of my life. Am I reaching my full potential? Perhaps that’s what the dreams are about.
We had a great exchange about what that means. In his view, it’s about living each year as if it’s your last … setting targets and doing more than what you’ve done before. I guess that’s what a lot of people are doing when they post their goals about reading 200 books before Easter.
That deal about year-over-year improvement is too jobbie for me. Stretch goals and all that. And I’m not sure the strategy was successful. In my workplace, we systematically weeded out steady performers who worked as a team in favor of individual superstars who fought over the last porkchop, making everyone miserable.
What if I don’t need to continuously improve myself? For the record, my friend is right … I am content! But here’s a radical thought. What if being content is actually what it means to reach my full potential? What if being alive is my greatest accomplishment? What if ordinary is good enough?
I’ve read a little about Taoism, sometimes known as Daoism, which is a Chinese philosophy that is very much about going with the flow. I love the idea that not reaching too far might be the essence of freedom.
The artist Pablo Picasso also had something to say about striving too hard:
You must always work not just within but below your means. If you can handle three elements, handle only two. If you can handle ten, then handle only five. In that way the ones you do handle, you handle with more ease, more mastery, and you create a feeling of strength in reserve.
I’m way calmer since Trump left office, and my sleep has been much less stressful. Not as many work dreams, which will hopefully continue to fade over time. Still, I’m glad I took the opportunity to reflect on the balance between being content and being productive.
While I applaud and respect those who drive themselves harder, there’s room for underachievers, too. If you are among those who resist excessive productivity, I hope you find pleasure in knowing you are not alone.
As for me, I am content to work below my means. It’s a sweet gig, actually.
I’m actively resisting the urge to be productive. Or at least recognizing that I feel guilty to be spending all of my time just BEING…and being happy about it. Isn’t that what we strive for in our working lives anyways? To get to the end of our careers and finally have the time (and money) to just BE? When did retirement have to become a second career, with all the goals and productivity demands of the first? Asking for a friend… 😉
Deb
Exactly — when did retirement become a second career? I would tell your “friend” she is on the right path — happy just to be!
After years of striving for uber-productivity, I’m happy to leave over-achieving and worries about productivity behind. That said, I do like the feeling of accomplishment that comes from finishing a project or completing some nasty task. Enjoy working below your means!
I agree that finishing a project or completing a task feels good. Maybe it feels better because we have lower expectations and do it on our own terms.
Is is possible we’re confusing productivity here with life satisfaction? I know when I use the term productive, I’m referring to spending my day in a way that feels deeply satisfying. Productive for me can mean a day spent outdoors hiking, or even on a sofa buried in a book. There are actually only two things that leave me feeling non productive – too much TV and too much mindless internet browsing/reading. Doing either of these from a place of purpose is not what I’m referring to, BTW – I’m specifically referring to using either to pass time, rather than actually looking forward to watching or doing either.
I think of your golfing as being productive, as an example, because you appear to work at it along with enjoying it.
I can totally see your point. I’ve been stewing over the right words for quite some time now, having abandoned “slacker” for many of the same reasons you cite. And you’re right, my golf is productive when you look at it this way. I guess I’ll keep writing about it until we land on the right way to say it. If not, at least we’ll have these great exchanges!
“In my workplace, we systematically weeded out steady performers who worked as a team in favor of individual superstars who fought over the last porkchop, making everyone miserable.”
This is such a great line and it totally resonates with me. I worked in hi-tech for 30+ years and sadly that is the mindset which is actively encouraged by management. So grateful to be free of it now.
Thank you! I do agree with getting rid of poor performers, as well as brilliant but toxic employees. But there is something to be said for the Steady Eddies. That whole “rank and yank” or “forced calibration” system was absolutely brutal, and I don’t think it improved results. And yes, it is good to be free of it!!
Love this post, Donna. Retirement is a good gig. Someone asked me not too long ago, “Busy?” and I was able to reply, “No.” I didn’t retire to keep punching the clock and 8 yrs in I’m still reveling in the slow mornings and a to-do list that exists without the pressure of time constraints that the formal work schedule imposed. There’s a difference in being busy and being productive. I equate productive with living purposefully and that includes attaining life satisfaction, as Tamara says. There’s a place for good enough depending upon resources of time, money, energy, knowledge. I like my ordinary, contented life where I can be more of who I really am.
“What if being content is actually what it means to reach my full potential? What if being alive is my greatest accomplishment? What if ordinary is good enough?” Big questions to ponder and that’s why I like your blog. There’s something big in the simplicity of an “ordinary” life.
Hi Mona — I’m with you and Tamara at perhaps looking at productivity in a different way. Maybe that’s why I’m having those crazy work dreams. Even my brain can’t sort it out. I like your line, “There’s something big in the simplicity of an ordinary life.” And that’s why I like having you as a reader!
So here’s a thought- upon reading Mona’s response to being asked if she was ‘busy’ (which would annoy me as well), my mind went to ‘engaged’ instead. Engaged is a word that seems to hold up on all sides, and allows for each person to interpret as works for them.
And maybe what we’ve all now discovered is that productive is really not a great word to strive for. It can actually come quite loaded with judgement when I give it thought.
I like engaged, although it also has some baggage from my days in corporate communications. The big buzzword was employee engagement. But I could get over that.
Have to agree with you…as a retired HR person, the word engagement still makes me want to hurl. Don’t ever get me started on calibration – still suffering PTSD from that. I will think on a good word for retirement life – I also like the productivity discussion. I shoot/aim/aspire for one “thing” a day to feel whatever word it is we’re trying to come up with. The bar for what constitutes a “thing” is very low, but way more satisfying than any calibration discussion I ever participated in :)….
Calibration was awful. I seriously wanted to throw up during those meetings. I would think as a retired HR person and a retired Comms person, we could have some interesting discussions. I love the idea of one thing a day (as long as it’s not calibration).
For sure….one of my responsibilities was HR Communications- worked closely with Corp Comm. That was favorite part of my role given that other 2 parts were comp and benefits, the two things every employee loves to complain/offer “feedback” about. 😀
Donna, given that you’re born in 1954, your thoughts about retirement, etc. are informed by your membership in Generation Jones. This is the heretofore lost generation between the Baby Boom Generation and Generation X. Seems like 1954 is usually viewed as the leading edge of Generation Jones. I was always told I was a Boomer, but the Generation Jones construct fits me much better. Lots of big time media (New York Times, CNN, Fox News, Newsweek, etc.) have accepted and discuss Generation Jones. Connects the dots for a lot of people, including me.
This is top of mind for me after reading a quite revealing opinion piece in Forbes Magazine yesterday. It was written by someone who presumably knows his stuff: Dr. Joseph Coughlin, who is the Director of the famous AgeLab at MIT University: https://www.forbes.com/sites/josephcoughlin/2021/01/25/women-caught-in-between-and-facing-uncertainty-in-retirement/?sh=75b81ecca87e
He talks about we Jonesers are in this in-between place, never really fitting in to traditional generational buckets, and being sort of invisible or forgotten as a result. The picture he paints is of a generation of women facing retirement with major uncertainty. It’s a bit depressing, but he does rightly call for our plight to be more widely recognized by the broader culture at large.
I was actually born in 1955, but I’ve read about Generation Jones before, and I agree it seems to fit! Thank you so much for sharing this information. I’ll have to go back and re-read some of it. It’s always nice to find your tribe.