Messing with your face

I played golf with some women I hadn’t met before and afterward, we sat socially distanced around an outside table and enjoyed a cold beer. Soon enough, the topic turned to faces and what to do about them as they age.

One woman was an advocate of Ultherapy. She goes annually and pays between $3,500 – $5,000 for a procedure to tighten everything from the décolletage up. The process is painful, she said, and they give her Valium before, during and after. But you walk wobble out looking good.

The other woman was furiously writing notes on her scorecard. She could definitely see Ultherapy in her future, but for now, she was sticking with Botox. I mostly listened, but then I asked a question.

While in the waiting room at the dermatologist for my skin cancer check-up, I overheard a woman talking about some sort of point system, and she wanted her points carried over from a previous provider. What’s up with that?

According to my fellow golfer, points are part of a rewards or loyalty system for Botox and other injectables. The more the merrier!

I’m in no position to judge, but the whole discussion made me sad nonetheless. I mean, life with all its trials and tribulations, and it all comes down to this? Wrinkles? Messing with your face?

Somehow, I think the prettiest girls – the cheerleaders and the beauty queens – have the hardest time accepting the inevitable ravages of age. I was the weird kid with bad teeth who wore men’s corduroy bedroom slippers to school, held my fork like it was a weapon and wrote poetry in spiral-bound notebooks I kept under the bed.

It’s a miracle I’m walking upright. But like good whiskey, I’ve aged well.

Nobody at the table asked me what I did about my face, because I’m pretty sure they could see the answer would be nothing.

Not that I am without vanity. I like clothes and care about how I look overall. In fact, I’ve been thinking more about how I am going to re-purpose my work wardrobe. I have some ideas that may be in the category of corduroy slippers, but I’m willing to give it a go and may even post the results on this very blog.

I might have to consult with one of my young fashionista friends – they always tell it like it is.  

cold-weather comfort food

With some rain expected this weekend, the temperature is supposed to drop into the low 50s, and I think of it as the last hurrah for cold-weather comfort food. And yes, I know 50s is not cold. We call it California Cold.

I’ve been keeping a list and crossing them off as we cook our way through:

  • Stuffed cabbage
  • Macaroni & Cheese
  • New England Baked Beans
  • Venison Meatloaf
  • Beef Stroganoff
  • Porchetta Pie
  • Chile Verde
  • Moussaka

I love eggplant, so I lean toward moussaka, which is a casserole made with ground lamb, browned eggplant, tomato sauce, grated sheep’s milk cheese and bechamel on top. Dale likes it, but not as much as I do.

Nostradonna predicts Dale will vote for porchetta pie or chile verde. I love both, so it’s no big deal one way or the other. I make the pie, which is actually several freeform savory tarts made with chunks of pork, pancetta, carrots, onions, fennel and fresh sage.

Dale makes the chile (along with homemade flour tortillas). He usually roasts the tomatillos and chiles outside on the grill, so rain may alter those plans. An alternative would be his Texas-style chile, made with chunks of pork and beef in a rich sauce and no outside grilling component. We love the chili topped with grated cheddar cheese, finely diced onion and buttered saltines on the side.

My neighbor made fun of me teased me about being busy, so busy, as she said in a not completely flattering way. I’m not sure where that’s coming from, but yeah, my days are full. Not stressful but busy and fulfilling in a good way.

Granted, golf sucks up a bunch of my discretionary retirement time, but so does cooking. All those recipes! What to make? And then shopping for ingredients and actually getting in the kitchen to weigh, chop, bake, roast, simmer and sear. And then being forced to eat such deliciousness.

I can think of worse ways to live.        

18 thoughts on “Messing with your face”

  1. We live in a youth and beauty obsessed culture. So it’s not surprising that women (and increasingly men) are going for procedures to be more youthful. But it is a no-win situation. Nature and time always win in the end. I read somewhere that one reason for this obsession is that some women think of themselves as objects – even as they scream about men objectifying them! An object needs to be admired, seen and appreciated to be worthy. Losing beauty makes one invisible. A subject, on the other hand, is one who experiences her own agency and is an author of her own life. This aging thing is a difficult journey. While I think we older women should develop the strength to be a “subject”, we live within a world of ageism.

  2. No face fixing. That’s a slippery slope. 🙂

    Hey, we stayed flat so why would we pump up our faces?

    1. I agree about face fixing and being flat. It has been six years since my mastectomy, and I have no regrets. I was talking with someone the other day about bumping into stuff and how it seems to hurt more without breasts as cushions. She said, “You don’t have breasts?” No one really notices. I said no, they went to the landfill. Although I don’t really know what they do with lopped off body parts. But we still had a good laugh.

  4. I’ve thought about what I might do about the bags under my eyes cause they make me look tired all the time. (I get enough sleep – it’s genetics causing the bags! ) Not that I’ve done anything yet. The only time I got Botox was to deal with jaw pain. Yeah, it actually worked!

    I’m looking forward to your repurposing the work wardrobe post… I’m still trying to do some of that, as more and more does succumb to the Goodwill pile.

  6. The only thoughts I have are of when I get my cataracts completely done, which does not seem to be necessary for a long time after my last eye exam. I’ve literally worn my glasses for all but a few years of my life (my eyes being not contact friendly) so I realize that even with perfect vision I may want to keep clean glasses cause there is some “allergy eye) darkness after all these years. Other than that I attempt to take really good care of my skin (all of my skin) -moisturizing it and toning it and night reaming it and all that good garbage. and thats as far as I want to go. I’m happy looking almost seventy. I’d just like it to be a good almost seventy.

    1. I’ve worn glasses since the fourth grade, so I get it. I’m with you on moisturizing and whatever, but that’s as far as I want to go as well.

  7. Teased about being busy! My wife told me that she has never known someone to enjoy work as much as I do….a compliment.

    Let me explain, my tax return lists my occupation as retired and I am…….but, I also do some consulting. I find it very rewarding and it is seldom time intensive, but when I start a project I am enthusiastic to do it well and do it timely. I find that while there are busy and slow times, it ends up being about 12-15 weeks out of 52 and nets $30,000-40,000 per year even in time of COVID-19. About 40% of the work is remote work, but when in person meetings begin again that entails four day long meetings per year in Sacramento and allows me to visit our son at the same time.

    I like having something to do. Now I was asked a few weeks ago to attend Small Claims Court in Sonora County but 7 hours round trip overnight the day I was having a dental implant installed I said no thanks

    I am now getting very bored as I am achy and tired from my second vaccine dose yesterday

    1. I love the idea of making extra cash, but in all honesty, I don’t want to be bothered by work. There, I said it! I applaud you, however, because it sounds great! Glad you got the second vaccine — you’ll be good as new in no time.

  8. Justine Bateman, former actress, has written a book called Face that discusses the aging face issue. Looked interesting. While sometimes it can be unnerving to notice that I’ve got a bunch of wrinkles, mostly it’s oh, well. Pretty much goes with my grey hair. I’m focused with keeping my body strong enough to hike, walk and travel. My body is an instrument, not an ornament. Listening to that conversation would have been pretty boring.

    1. I wish I had written this: My body is an instrument, not an ornament. Wow!!! I quoted you to my husband, and he was, yeah, that’s it!

  9. Ageing can be insulting. There are days when I bemoan my wrinkles and saggy parts of my body.
    Then I see women my age, with perfect skin & hair, dressed up .But what is the benefit, when you talk with an old scratchy voice and have no body tension?
    No, I’m imperfect, but I can walk, even fast, do weight training and try to keep my mind busy.
    Maybe ageing is a bit easier when you never have been a super beauty (here!)

    1. I like your attitude! I kind of enjoy it when a young guy checks me out from behind and then ultimately figures out I’m an old lady. Surprise.

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