Smoke gets in your eyes

The Caldor fire is about 40 miles to the east of us and moving further east, which is good for us but not good for Tahoe. The winds shifted yesterday, and while the fire is still moving in the other direction, our air quality has taken a turn for the worse.

I’m learning to accept the realities of living in a state that burns, but it’s hard when there is so much beauty to behold, and you can’t even go outside. The fires are life-threatening for some, but for us they are mostly inconvenient and just plain scary.

The smoke stresses me. I took the top picture first thing this morning, and it was creepy not to even see the hills above our house. The wind shifted yet again, and later you could see the hills. The Sago palm is in both pictures, but you can only see it in the bottom one. I immediately felt better when the air started to clear. I think it’s a primal reaction.

Fortunately, there is plenty to keep me amused inside. We’re out of cookies, and we can’t have that. I’m whipping up a batch of our go-to cookies with peanut butter, chocolate chips and sea salt. I’ll probably play some Wii golf on our vintage system.

I used to talk bad to the Wii when things didn’t go my way, but I found out there’s no modern substitute that replicates the motions of golf, so I made nice with the damned thing to ensure it doesn’t talk to the other appliances and quit on us.

Playing Wii golf helps me with the mental side of real golf. I practice visualization, staying calm no matter what and lowering expectations. I’ve written before about my fear of competition, but I forced myself to play in the women’s club championship this year. While I didn’t play my best golf, I held steady and finished tied for sixth overall.

Playing and not choking was a big step forward for me. I’m sure others in my group were feeling sorry for me, as I did mess up a few holes and can certainly score better under ideal conditions, but I couldn’t be happier that I pretty much held it together over three rounds – the format was best two out of three.  

Have you thought about what you fear and whether you should push yourself in that direction?

Learning to manage my expectations with golf is helping me manage fear and loathing in a more general sense. As I said earlier in the week, it’s all about showing up. I stress about the attempted recall of California’s governor, Afghanistan, drought, fires, smoke and COVID, but I’m also choosing to read less about it, and that helps.

When all else fails, stick your head in the sand.

Dale and I talked about what it’s like to live here now, and we’re not ready to bail. I can’t think of a place that doesn’t have some sort of natural disaster looming. It seems to me we’re all going to have to accept climate change is here, and it’s going to alter our lifestyles. So, we adjust and keep going.

We live in a suburban area, and while anything is possible, we figure a forest fire is unlikely to impact us directly. There’s a lot of asphalt between us and the woods. I’ve taken to looking out the window in the morning to a) see if there are any dead bodies in the pool; and b) see if there are any fire balls rolling down the hills.

Even if the fire did start charging down the hill toward us, we would have time to evacuate. That’s how I settle my mind. If the house goes, the house goes.

Then you’ve got excessive heat, power outages. One thing we are considering is a standby generator. If we’re going to live in a fortress, we may as well fortify the fortress so as to live in the style to which we have become accustomed.

We’ve been debating the advantages and disadvantages of a portable rig versus a unit that hooks up to our natural gas supply. The portable rigs are less expensive but not exactly cheap, and then you have to deal with extension cords and all that. I’m thinking, we’re getting older, and we’d be better off with a built-in standby system.

We haven’t called for quotes yet, but our climate is such that we could live without air conditioning or heat for a couple of days. A small unit that powers the refrigerators and maybe a few creature comforts might be all we need.

If all goes well and we continue to take good care of ourselves, I believe we could last another 25 years or so, even with all the bad craziness. However, I’ve decided if I’m here for the finish, I’m going out with a giant bowl of Lucky Charms. Perhaps with a chaser of Frosted Flakes.