Still knee-deep in the hoopla with regard to the kitchen remodel. In a surprising development, I’ve learned dust is like dry shampoo and makes my hair fluffier. Just another pro-tip from Dale and Donna’s cantina.
As far as dealing with contractors, the remodel brings out the overzealous project manager in me, the queen of rumination.
I’d like to introduce some corporate concepts. In my dream world, we’d have a communications plan that starts with a daily 8 a.m. stand-up. Wouldn’t it be nice to know what was happening? Who would be there and when?
Maybe a war room with the project plan taped to the wall. FAQs. Here’s a sample:
Q: What can I expect the first day?
A: Contractors will arrive at a designated time known only to them and immediately begin demolition. You won’t know what hit you.
Perhaps a lessons-learned meeting at the conclusion of our project? Oh, how I hated those. I mean, enough already. It’s over. But no, we all dutifully marched in for the dreaded hot wash. One of my co-workers said hot wash sounded so harsh. Why not call it a cool cleanse?
I believe Dale and I will be, enough already, it’s over. No hot wash for us. Go away and never come back.
And yet.
This project has been a bit of a wake-up call for me. While I was not a micromanager at work, those dark impulses decided to play out at home. We used to see it a lot in the kitchen, when Dale was cooking and I arrived on the scene to make sure he was doing it properly. And he is the better cook!
Fortunately for Dale, I backed off. But I still find myself offering guidance in all sorts of activities when he’s perfectly capable of figuring it out all by his own self.
The flooring is scheduled to be installed tomorrow. I have a doctor’s appointment, and I was going to cancel. Dale asked why. I said I need to be here to make sure he’s doing it right. Dale laughed, “Seriously, you know how to install floors?” I didn’t even tell him I read the label for the glue, just in case.
Ridiculous. I do think this is a control thing that got worse after I retired, and I have new appreciation for Dale being at the butt end of it. May I suggest those of with the tendency to meddle learn to back the fuck off?
Think of me as the advance party here to perform reconnaissance and report back from the field … a bit of intelligence to ease your retirement journey.
You’re welcome.
I have a spouse like that, she can’t understand that there is more than her way of doing something. I emailed a contractor to confirm work to be done and copied her on the email. I told the contractor that the price was fair. My wife said “I wouldn’t tell him his price is fair” I didn’t respond….why bother. Really if the price wasn’t fair would we agree to have the work done?
There is no reason to get your panties in a bunch because someone else does it differently. Reminds me of the All in the Family episode when Archie and Meathead were going fishing. Archie didn’t like that meathead put one sock and shoe on and then the other versus both socks and then both shoes. The discussion caused them to miss the fishing trip as they were late! Two methods same result.
That All in the Family episode says it all, doesn’t it? But I confess. What your wife said sounds like something I would say — but that was the old Donna. I have to remember I trusted my team to do their jobs, so I need to trust Dale knows what he’s doing.
The most exhausting tiring days I ever have are when someone is working on my house. They are doing the work, right? The need for my constant supervision is endless, and not because I’m micromanaging.
Working on houses is something that I learned growing up from a long line of Cameron builders and do it yourselves long before there was an acronym for that. I could mix concrete before I learned to ride a bike; 2 shovels of Portland cement, three shovels of sharp sand and gravel.
While the contractors are trying to condescendingly mansplain to me, I remind them that I’ve been at this for 60 years and dammit, I’m a freakin engineer. Hello! Satellites, rockets.
It is very tiring….
Yes, exhausting. But at least you have real-life skills! I’m just faking it. But if they need a comms plan, I’m their gal.
Perhaps I love this post so much because it is so…familiar! A month ago I spent the better part of three days sitting in my car looking up at the workers putting a new roof on a rental property I own. Seriously. In my defense, I have to say it’s a very high and tricky roof on one of those big, circa 1920 houses we have here in western PA. I told myself I was there so that I could call 911 if the worst happened.
We sound like twins!
I dunno about the contactor situation I guess I can see some minor supervision. In most of life I am the “He or she who does the work gets to.chose the time and method an so on” type. Unless we’re talking about a toddler.
I like that philosophy … with a few well-chosen exceptions!
Stay home for those floors! Dale is seeing this incorrectly. Yes, your floor guy knows what he’s doing, BUT . . . he cannot read your mind, and there are likely a dozen, if not more, small design decisions that need to be made on the spot.
I love my floor guys to the moon and back, and have used them many times over the years, but I would still never leave them to their own devices, because, again, they can’t read my mind and know what I am envisioning for the myriad of little details and finishing points that occur with all flooring projects vs what they are.
Trust me on this.
I managed to make the doctor’s appointment and arrive home just as they started! I love it when a plan comes together.
This reminded me of when we built our first home (30 years ago now). I was a micromanager then, they hated me. But I also found they had plumbed the house wrong (really, two bathrooms of 3 pulled off the water line before the water softener… were they really plumbers?) and wiring wrong (unless you had 5 foot arms, you would need to walk around the kitchen island to run the garbage disposal). So, while they might be good sub-contractors, they might not be. But do let your hubby cook alone … he has (I’m guessing) proven his skill!
They probably did hate you, but it sounds like you saved the day. And yes, leave Dale in the kitchen to do his magic!
This is why we seldom hire professionals and just do the work ourselves. Watching other people do things differently and not as carefully than he would do them stresses my husband out. Fortunately, he is very talented and – I hate to admit because it means a LOT more work for me – he actually can do things better, and with more care, himself. “Professionals” aren’t always all that professional.
Sadly, we have zero skills. I told Dale my next husband will be handy around the house.
I find those who can do tend to live in unfinished homes, unless the doers have retired and so have plenty of time available. I’m reasonably competent and have done stuff before. Nevertheless, all trades insisted on talking to my (then) partner who barely knew how to wire a plug. Now I’m old and have a bad back, so I get other people in. I watch, but in a hands-off kinda way. Himself struggles with the concept of employing help, but I fight on.
Your exchange with Janis reminded me of a time during the internet dating years, when my girlfriends laughingly suggested we should set up a reliable trades pool – it was to be named Shag-A-Trade 😉 I contributed an engineer and surveyor, who proved very useful to many a friend. Others weren’t quite to selfless 😀
Love the idea of Shag-a-Trade. Seriously funny, and useful, too!