My husband and I are visiting Mendocino in April, and as we prepare to re-enter civilization after our pandemic lockup, I’ve given some thought to style. That’s a reference to my personal style, which is practically nonexistent. I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in this dilemma, so I’ll tell you where I landed and see if that’s any help.
Right off the bat, just thinking about it stirred up a few revelations. One day I woke up and realized I am no longer a skirt person. Just like that, and now I am at last ready to donate most of my work attire. I have one jacket and one pair of slacks that are keepers, but the rest of it is in the wind.
I’ve been wanting to do something about those lovely pieces hanging in my closet for quite some time now, but I wasn’t ready to let go. I could still visualize myself wearing them, mostly because I was a thoughtful shopper and only bought nice clothes that looked good and fit me well. But also because I associated wearing those outfits with the peak of my career, which was productive and prosperous.
Part of me was still clinging to that image. But as I worked through the emotional baggage I believe is linked to my chronic back pain, I made peace with some rough times I experienced toward the end of my career, and now I think, well, that was a good life, but I’ve moved on.
Now in my fifth year of retirement, let’s just say I’ve laid productivity to rest, although I’m counting on enough prosperity to make it to the finish line. In the meantime, I’d like to look good, but I don’t care about making a fashion statement. Being invisible is fine with me.
Invisible is such a harsh word. I like to think of it as stealth.
All that said, I was still thinking I needed a little help getting dressed, so I spent some time cruising the style quizzes.
That’s time I’ll never get back. When they asked do you like this outfit or that outfit, my answers were always no. I kept wanting to add, I hate it. When they listed celebrity style icons to see which ones I most identified with, the response was none of the above. I was like who in the hell is that person? And jumpsuits? Doesn’t anyone else have to pee all the time?
I Googled some terms to see if anything interesting would appear. Athleisure came to mind, but I see that as 50 ways to love your leggings. I think I’m somewhere in the middle of sleek chic, casual and minimalist. Even my golf attire is pretty simple. I had a brief flirtation with skorts, but that time is gone.
My favorite outfits for pretty much anything are stretchy but slim-fitting with minimal fuss. Pockets. Machine wash, tumble dry. Lots of black and white. Denim. Gray for a pop of color.
No adorable shoes. It’s Birkenstocks and Hoka One One trail running shoes or boots for dress-up.
If I leave the house, it’s usually to play golf, walk, swim or go to the grocery store. No-name style meets my needs. I feel good about how I present myself to the world and can kick it up a notch if I have to. This is my key point. We don’t need style quizzes. We just need to be confident with our choices. Trust that we know what we like and run with it!
Anyway, our Mendocino trip is only for two nights, but we’re excited. A room with an ocean view. Wine tasting. Scenic wonders. Dinner in a French restaurant. As for what to wear, I’m comfortable with the simple pieces in my closet. My Headlands Hybrid Cargo Tights can go anywhere when paired with a tee, a denim jacket and my signature turquoise jewelry. Birks or boots, depending on the weather.
It’s crazy, but I still have this urge to call it something. Sporty retirement minimalist California casual?
Have fun in Mendocino and reentering the big wide world. I think my clothes style might be described in your last line, could add colorful to the list.
Hi Terra — we are looking forward to the trip. Neither of us has been before.
Sounds like fun. Yeah, that’s a good name, kinda wordy, but says it all. We’re headed to France soon (not Paris) and my main concern is getting new underwear. The hotels do the laundry rather than letting the guests do it. That calls for underwear without holes or stretched out elastic.
Wordy indeed! But you’re right, it sort of works.
The underwear dilemma made me laugh. At least we don’t have to worry about period stains.
I am pretty much where you are. I’ve looked at a few of those quizes (usually linked from one blog or another) and gave up after a few questions or pictures. “None of the above” was usually my answer. Although I’d like to add one or two slightly dressed up options to my wardrobe, I’m pretty happy with the choices in my closet. Funny thing, though, a few of my pants seem to have shrunk a bit over the last two years…
Maybe simpler is better. I have one fancy top leftover from work-related special events, and I figure I can wear that with jeans for dress-up.
I don’t think I have a style anymore. Right now, I don’t like clothes because I feel ugly in them. I need to lose weight so I can enjoy getting dressed again. The last two years have been tough and I think I’ve let food be my comfort. So my style is “never leave the house”. I think I have a handful of things I actually feel comfortable in. Not even good; just comfortable. It’s terrible. I too have hung on to a few things that I always liked but can’t or shouldn’t wear anymore.
Have a fun trip. Getting out does feel good.
I hear you. I had my own struggles with weight earlier in life. I seem to remember looking at your picture from Florida thinking, “And this is the one who complains about her weight?” You looked good to me!
Reading your post I listened to a very old song (“Schlager” – how do you call this?) from Michael Holm “Mendocino” on YouTube.
Sometimes I’m bored of my simple and basic style (about same as yours) and I browse the Internet for “Jane Birkin 2022” which gives me solace. Even to the Film Festival of Cannes in ’21 she wore her trusted jeans and chucks with an simple white shirt!
The only effort I’m willing to make if we are going somewhere, is to wear one of my WNU Shirts with my pants or jeans.
Have a beautiful journey!
Yes, Mendocino … a great song!
There’s a lot to be said for simple and basic style. That’s where I landed with my work attire after years of experimenting with fashion trends. Now I’ve realized that in retirement, I will want the same look, only now it needs to be appropriate for my new lifestyle.
The WNU shirt looks amazing.
I feel your pain with those style quizzes – I was absolutely the same. Clearly the only people they consider have style, are those with access stylists not people living normal real lives 🙁 It’s one of the reasons I worked with a colour & style coach when she was offering her skills at a discounted level. We’ve done the colour part, and are still to do the shape bit. She’s been bang on with colour and it’s helped me move my wardrobe from black to colours that actually do make me look (a lot) better. I decided to do it as I’ll need to do some in front of camera work for my business. The impact has already been a bit like when I upgraded my underwear to really good quality matching sets – it given me a quiet feeling of confidence. But that’s also because she worked with me and didn’t attempt to impose some other person’s style on me.
Have a fabulous holiday 🙂
Imagine! Working with a real live person instead of an online quiz. Congratulations for getting it right.