The art of the slack

Weeds look like flowers if you squint.

I’ve been sort of a slacker when it comes to writing, but I like to think of it as refining the art of the slack. I’m exhausted by the high standards of productivity some people set for themselves in retirement. Certainly, my days are reasonably busy, but I don’t document my activities with quarterly reports and the dreaded self-assessment.

While big goals typically require planning, preparation and commitment, in the art of the slack, it’s important to set a low bar for the routines of daily life. This is contrary to my former approach, which was anything worth doing was worth doing with disturbing ferocity. I used to say my tombstone should read, “She tried hard.”

Retirement has mellowed me. I’m learning to enjoy life with less effort. It turns out the universe will nudge you one way or the other, and it all works out in the end. Still, I’ve learned a few important lessons you’ll want to know about.

  1. Try to wash your sheets once a week, but they can wait if you’ve got something better to do.
  2. Dress for less. You probably have all the clothes you’ll ever need.
  3. Go gray. It’s less work, less expensive and beautiful.
  4. Dust settles and will sit quietly minding its own business longer than you think.
  5. Weeds look like flowers if you squint.
  6. After a shower, squeegee and wipe it down with a towel. It’s a pain in the ass, but you might only need to scrub the shower once a month or less.
  7. If you have a dishwasher, skip the pre-rinse. Google it if you don’t believe me.
  8. Go ahead. Make a top-10 list but stop at eight.

If you’re among those who enjoy gathering metrics, please feel free to call bullshit on me. For the rest, I’m eager to know … how are you refining the art of the slack?

We’re all here to learn.

22 thoughts on “The art of the slack”

  1. Hi Donna, Your post today is funny, and I do like your sense of humor. I’m in total agreement with you on the art of slack in retirement. I’m still working on slacking off on my guilt when I don’t feel “productive”. My hubs on the other hand, feels no shame in getting an advanced degree in the Art of Slack.

    1. My husband also has an advanced degree. He might even be a tenured professor.

  2. I need to embroider this on a sampler and hang it in my kitchen. But who am I kidding? I’ll be happy if I remember to print this out and stick it on the fridge. See? Embracing the slack already…great post, Donna!

    Deb

  3. My ex-husband used to tell me that I set my expectations too low. I told him that I was a much happier person than he was.

    1. I totally agree. I made life harder than it had to be because I set my expectations too high.

  4. Love your approach. Weeds are just perennials gone amuck. Grey? Gorgeous? Yeah, gorgeous.

  5. I could have written this… but I was too busy having a conversation with a lizard in my garden. I so agree with you about those self-assessments some people insist on giving themselves (and… yikes… sharing) as if they were still responsible for presenting monthly/quarterly reports to their boss. In retirement, I’m the boss of me and, fortunately, my boss is a slacker too.

    1. Those self-assessments were awful, and I wouldn’t re-create that process for anything! Lizard conversations preferred.

  6. The art of the slack? Oh, so that’s what I’ve been indulging in…. and I’m not even retired yet. I wish I did have a dishwasher – but there’s no space for it – and doing the washing up makes me feel like I’m not slacking, even if I spend the rest of the time goofing off. Happy slacking to you Donna 🙂

    1. My husband likes to say a dishwasher saved our marriage. I actually don’t mind dishes, either. Something Zen about the whole thing.

  7. I’m gradually becoming better at this!! I do still like to keep track of some things but it’s more for my own curiosity than striving for something. But I do still have that need for productivity even if my expectations are lower. I find myself saying “there’s always tomorrow” a lot more these days!!!

    1. We’ll have to call that the Scarlett O’Hara excuse … after all, tomorrow is another day. I like it!

  8. The dust at my house minds its own business for months at a time. Easy to do if you just give up entertaining also.

  9. I would add, a few slacker rules I follow:

    Always prioritize finishing the crime novel over housework.

    Never volunteer to lead any kind of committee. Bake the cookies if you must but don’t take on leadership roles!

    Always stop what you’re doing and GO if a friend calls for coffee date , lunch or shopping excursion.

    Make lots of time for art, music, movies and long hikes in the mountains.

    Just get takeout if you forgot to defrost.

    Agree SO MUCH on the hair color: LOVE my silver!

    I do have enough clothes to last the rest of my life but I have a thrift store habit,still.

    1. Madeline, we are sisters from different mothers. I was born believing in your rules concerning crime novels and leadership roles.

      I also have a clothing addiction. I am working on curbing it, I’m ONLY 73 so I have lots of time left. 😀

      But, I tell myself people shopping at my favorite charity store get to brag about all the good stuff they found that still has on the store tags attached. You’re welcome, shoppers.

    2. It’s hard to decide which one of these I like the most! The first two really resonate. As I recall, it was one of your comments a couple of years ago that helped me decide not to take on a leadership role in my golf group. No regrets.

      These are great additions to the slacker list.

  10. Slacker shower tip…Method Daily Shower Spray (Target sells 1/2 gallon refills) eliminates 90% of shower scrubbing :). I spray half the time and towel the other half, but only “scrub” every couple of months now. Try it, you’ll like it. Less is always more in my slacker world.

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