I’ve heard it said retirement comes in phases. One would assume it’s different for everyone. I only know when I retired, I couldn’t quite let go of the need to feel successful. That first phase was frustrating, because I was no longer particularly successful at anything.
My plan was to keep dabbling, see what interested me, what stuck. After five years of enjoying simple pleasures and indulging in creative pursuits, that burning desire to achieve something beyond daily existence started to subside.
The turning point was lunch with my childhood friend, who shocked me by the details she remembered from my troubled youth. Her insights were enlightening, and I came to realize my life turned out way better than anyone could have expected. And whatever success I had in my career was plenty.
In this new retirement phase, I feel different. Like I’m just part of the ecosystem, at peace with the rest of the flora and fauna that share this space, with no need to measure up or justify my existence. It feels great, although accepting that I’m enough has changed my motivation for writing.
For me, writing was often about trying to feel validated. But it seems I don’t need that validation anymore, so I’m in search of the sweet spot that’s more about creative expression and personal connections. I’m not sure how this new focus will reveal itself, but I’m thankful you read my stuff and hope you’ll go along for the ride.
Which brings us to a topic foremost on my mind these days, and that would be Ultra-Processed Foods (UPFs). They are getting a lot of buzz lately, so I read the new book, Ultra-Processed People: The Science Behind the Food That Isn’t Food by Chris van Tulleken.
The book is heavy on science, hence the name, and it tells a compelling story about the food industry … how and why it delivers tasty addictive foods that make us fat and unhealthy. Most of us realize by now that sodas, flavored yogurt, snack bars, frozen meals and the like are on the naughty list.
We don’t eat that stuff at our house. But I was surprised to learn some foods we eat frequently are UPF. Most commercial breads. English muffins! Some peanut butter. Flour tortillas. Some fruit juices. You have to look at the ingredients, and if it’s a long list of unpronounceables, you’re looking at UPF.
Are you concerned about UPFs? Do you have a strategy?
As for us, Dale and I agreed we’ll still eat some of the bad stuff occasionally, but we’ll make simple changes where we can. I bought some natural peanut butter, and I actually like it, although I miss the mouth-feel you get from the hydrogenated oils they add to the highly processed kind. We bake a lot of bread, so we can get around that one with a little planning.
The biggest challenge would be flour tortillas. They are a pain in the ass to make, but I see that day coming. Another option would be to check out the local mercados. I would assume if they’re making flour tortillas from scratch at the facility, they don’t have all the extra junk added. I could freeze them.
We are from a generation in which children with learning disabilities were, special, or slow.
Oh, my gosh. I didn’t think of it as offensive, but now I see it. I’m going to remove the photo and reference.
Donna, your picture is not offensive…no need to take it down. Some folks just seem to get offended easily.
Thank you for saying that, but I still think it needed to go.
“At peace with the rest of the flora and fauna that share this space, with no need to measure up or justify my existence.”
The hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but I want to get there, too. Thanks once again for being out of ahead of me and reporting back — getting the words right.
Every time I think, well, this is it. I’m done with blogging. You come along and make it all worthwhile. Thank you. You will get there. It’s worth the wait.
Well, I`m sure glad you didn`t close up shop before I learned about your overnight refrigerator oatmeal. J-U-S-T what summer in Tokyo calls for! It`s a lifesaver even on days when we don`t need the air conditioning on by 7 a.m.
I love that stuff. I had made it other ways, but adding the cocoa or cacao was new. Yum.
I don’t know what phase of retirement I’m in. It’s been six years and I think I’m still in development and/or transition . I have been embracing my creative side finally. I’m loving acrylic painting and also learning watercolor. It’s a journey, right? Learning to embrace where we are at.
Yes, we are very concerned about UPF’s. We are mainly plant based. I need to be baking my own bread but haven’t yet. Hubby does make corn tortillas. That book sounds interesting.
I’m so happy to hear you’ve been embracing your creative side. Discovering art has been a game-changer for me.
The no-knead breads are incredibly easy. That’s how I got started making bread.
I absolutely love your blog and look so forward to when you have a new entry. I have been retired for the same amount of time as you, and your reflections really resonate with me. Thank you for writing it and helping me see that the different phases I’m going through are normal.
Thank you so much. It always great to hear that we resonate with each other!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH! Every time I think I have made peace with my s####y diet, someone that I respect reminds me I’m eating trash. I’m going to whine here.
I have two strikes against me. I have hated cooking since birth. Seriously, my first words were, “Don’t make me go in the kitchen.” Any improvement in diet always involve much more time and energy turning basic ingredients into meals. I hate it and I’m sick of it. I’m 74 and there should have been a firm time limit on lifetime meal prep and surely I have passed it. God bless Costco who allows me to buy frozen crap, run it through the microwave, then eat it while watching Perry Mason reruns.
Second strike against me. I have been luckily married to a man who loves me dearly and if there was only one Mounds bar left on earth, he would give it to me. But he hates cooking even more than I do. You can imagine what dinner is like on his nights to cook. We also eat lunch out several times a week, because we enjoy it.
I think I will pretend I didn’t read this and continue to just walk towards the light. 😀
I think I read somewhere in there you respect me, so I’ll take that and try not to feel bad about about food shaming you. I agree with your solution — just pretend you didn’t see it and enjoy what you eat.
Please don’t feel you did anything wrong. I am rightfully ashamed of some of the things that cross my lips. I would make changes but I would have to start with a divorce and then search for a guy with different food attitudes. 😀 Firstly, my husband is a doll and I won’t trade him in. Secondly, as I’m 74 I don’t think I could even get a date , let alone a new husband.
Going to the movies today (which absolutely requires the purchase of a Mounds bar, which will get eaten even before the movie starts) and afterwards we’ll get hamburgers. As you can see, the case is hopeless. 😀
I’m often dumbstruck by how what you write resonates with me. I think, “well I could have written that about my own experience, had I only realized it……” Thanks for being a lighthouse in the strange transition from “full on career” to retirement life. Also for being so honest about everything. It was nice to hear how well your mini reunion turned out.
It seems a lot of us are going through the same thing. Maybe it’s our generation. That whole “full on career” thing. It’s hard to let go of. I still have work dreams.
Me too, but further and further between them.
Yep, me, too.
I really enjoy your blog and hope you’ll continue..I share so many of your sentiments about work, productivity, cooking,haircuts.. I am just meandering a whole lot now that I have sunken into retirement (took me a few years to get the hang of it..).. I enjoy posts about your work outs, your car trips, your art. Also cooking! About foods: Here in Arizona it is easy to find “homemade tortillas” in the grocery.. with short list of ingredients. The name brands tortillas are very GUMMY to me.. I mostly like corn tortillas,anyway.
I keep saying I’m gonna start baking our bread but I haven’t, yet.. maybe next week???
I like a slower pace of life.. I don’t do things with any sense of urgency anymore.. I feel i have earned this time of my life! I was a bit of a workaholic,though when it’s your family business it’s what you WANT to do.. but only to a point.. retirement is a good thing!!
So— I hope I still see psots here! Thanks for sharing!!
Thank you for the reinforcing feedback. I love what you said about meandering a whole lot. It does take some time to get the hang of it. Here’s to getting better all the time!
Your post sent me to the kitchen to rummage through our freezer. I was planning to make fajitas one night this week so I recently bought flour tortillas. WHO KNEW? Although at first the ingredients didn’t seem too terribly bad, but I had no idea they had so many (I was thinking basically flour, salt, and baking powder) and that one of them included hydrogenated soybean oils… yikes! I doubt that I will ever make them from scratch but I am going to look for ones with simple ingredients.
I know. It was a shocker. However, I tried some of the almond flour tortillas from the freezer section, and yuk. I’d rather eat them less frequently and just suffer the consequences. I’m still thinking the mercado is a good idea.
I enjoy your blog/writing/attitude etcetcetc. I too look forward to your posts.
I am soon to be 81, living in Charleston, SC so I/we are on the far side of the country from you.
I would very much miss your comments if you stopped writing. Keep up the good work. Stay healthy as well.
BTW, hotter n hell here. 98+ and high humidity. Air conditioner runs all day all night. Set at 79. But feels cold when coming in from the outside.
Do daily walks of 4 + miles. Starting earlier after sunrise. Not a golfer. Those people are nuts.
Thank you! I lived in Mt. Pleasant for several years in the mid-90s. What a great area, although damn, that humidity. Then I moved to Columbia and lived there way too long.
I’m one of the nuts who plays golf. I teed off at 6:30 a.m. yeterday!
Yeah! That’s where we live! House backs up to Hobcaw Creek. Misnamed. Actually it is a highway for boats going up or down the creek to get to/from the Wando River. Just lovely to sit at our boat dock and watch/wave as boats go by. Better with a gin and tonic or rum and Coke, or Mojito or, or, or…….
98 today with very high humidity. Not fun. You would not recognize Mt Pleasant. Oh the humanity. Traffic, prices. Getting like California.
Keep up your blog please! And your “kickass” attitude.
Well first, never stop blogging. I’m about to jump back in and have written but I think the 108 temperature here has addled my brain. I’m with a
Anne. I hate to cook and it’s just me. So it’s a mix of cooking and freezing. Getting takeaway meals cisco fozem pizza and all the other things. At thus point it is what it is.but I hold those who manage to make changes in the highest esteem believe me.
Yeah, all in all, I think blogging is good for us. I’m glad to hear you are planning to jump back in. I’ve missed your posts.