Last year was my fifth year of retirement, and I’m pleased to report I’m getting better at accomplishing very little. In 2023, I read a lot of crime fiction, wrote a bunch of blog posts, took a few road trips, watched a couple dozen shows on TV, walked, stretched, swam, cooked and ate delicious food. Dabbled at art.
I’d say it was a fine year. As a recovering over-achiever, it feels good to enjoy simple pleasures and chill. I don’t really like to keep count, as my last job was all about metrics gone wild. That said, you may be interested to learn I also enjoyed 21 blissful hours of full-body massage and about 100 rounds of golf.
Now for a “deep dive” into retirement math.
At an average of 4.5 hours per round, that’s 450 hours of golf. If one assumes a 40-hour work week, 450 hours converts to 11.25 weeks of golf, and that is the equivalent of playing golf for more than two months of the year!
My massages added up to $1,960. However, I don’t dye my hair, so let’s deduct $125 per month from massage expenditures. That leaves us at $460, which a working person such as myself might have spent on makeup, shoes, dry cleaning or even Botox. So, let’s just wipe the slate clean and accept that in retirement math, my massages are free.
There might be something to metrics after all. Seriously, I don’t think I’m playing enough golf.
I like the way you do math! Glad your year was good. I enjoy reading your posts.
Thank you! Glad to know my math skills aren’t being wasted.
Keep up the lack of work
I will.
Great post! Made me laugh out loud. I think it’s fair to say retirement suits you!
I was born for retirement.
The first statement made me laugh aloud. I was far more ambitious at the onset of retirement 10 yrs ago. Pandemic restrictions further curtailed ambition, i.e. I didn’t resume some committee work & monthly social gatherings. I “blame” the pandemic; it may be that I’ve just aged out. I have no desire to go out at night. My mission statement reads: Look after myself & my property. Throw in tending to my aged mom & managing her property. That’s enough. The metrics reflect an investment in a chosen lifestyle.
I was more ambitious in the beginning, too. How quickly it slipped away! I also have no desire to go out at night. I used to say nothing good happens after midnight, but I could probably adjust that to nothing good happens after dark.
Some of my retirement metrics include how many books did I read, how many new things did I try and how many trips did I take.
Those seem like pretty good metrics to me.
I’m pretty good at accomplishing very little too! It’s sort of my super power.
Congrats on your 5 years of retirement… it keeps getting better and better (I’m headed into year 10). I think I need to schedule regular free massages for myself too.
I like that — a super power. Please do check out the free massages. Totally worth it.
I just realized all my hair dyeing sessions have been free because I don’t play golf or get massages. I love how this works. 😀
And they told me I was bad at math.