As you might expect, I am disappointed and heartsick over the election results. I’ve lived through lots of elections, and this is not about being pissed off my candidate didn’t win. This is about an existential threat to the American experiment.
I have come to believe I am totally disconnected from roughly half the country. I don’t understand their problems, their grievances, their needs, their wants and why they think Trump can or will help. I don’t understand misogyny and racism or how people can attend his rallies and listen to his fury and vitriol and then, for example, join in a chant that Harris is a bitch.
A whole bunch of people either got sucked into this cult of hate or chose to ignore the facts and vote for him anyway. For what reason, I do not know. Our government is flawed, no doubt, but I can’t understand why so many people are mad enough about something to burn down the house. Democracy will be tested, that’s for sure.
Color me clueless. Dale and I were both depressed, so he made chimichangas for dinner. For a treat, he went salty, crunchy and processed with a bag of Cheetos. Not that I’m judging … it’s a fine choice. I, on the other hand, went with the over-fishing option and bought a fancy jar of tuna filets packed in olive oil. They’re expensive, but so delicious, and I was like, fuck it.
I’ll probably need more chocolate.
On one hand, I want to withdraw. Who are these people? This isn’t the country I thought it was. But there I go, thinking again. Instead, I will avoid political discussions, find whatever common ground there is and just try to be kind and enjoy life with other humans.
My sister is visiting next week! She hasn’t been able to come down since we moved here seven years ago, so it will be fun to play host. She lives in a relatively remote area, and we have all the big chains here, so shopping may be on the docket. Lunch out. Definitely a trip to Trader Joe’s. And probably our favorite winery out in Amador. It’s beautiful out there, and the wine’s great.
I haven’t been inspired to work on my art in months, but maybe it was the election being over that freed up my brain, so that’s good. I have lots of new ideas.
My favorite duck at the golf course died, so I want to do a little tribute to him on one of my boards. He was big white duck, the only white one out there and super-friendly. I only learned after they found him dead that everyone was feeding him. All this time, I thought he liked me.
Let’s just say it was a week of disappointments.
Fuck it, indeed.
That pretty much sums it up.
So many of us are shocked and saddened. I can’t help but blame social media for a lot of the problem: unfettered lies, normalizing hate speech, tribalism, etc. Maybe I’m just too far down to see up but I really don’t see how to fix that.
Have fun spending time with your sister… we need to continue to look for joy in our lives.
I agree with you 100 percent, but then, as I said, I know nothing.
Thanks for the warm wishes on the sister visit. Should be fun.
I am upset over election too! Buyyo me it proves the system works! I hope the checks and balances work too!
I agree I am more upset over the people who voted for him some of my family and friends !
People who are hurting for money and live great lives! I don’t understand it!
Trying to have faith in country!
It is hard to have faith in our country right now, but I think we have to try.
We are also devastated. It is amazing that a message of hate and division is so appealing to so many people, and that given the stakes so many dems apparently did not bother to vote. It is difficult to imagine what people think they will get out of this. Other than billionaires, Trump only sees two kinds of people. Those he ignores and those he wants to hurt. Many will find themselves in the hurt category that think they are part of his tribe. Yes please, another glass of wine. We will need plenty of it in the days to come.
Well said. I was getting spun up about RFK and his bullshit, but Jennifer Rubin in the Washington Post said Trump will probably dump him because he takes too much attention away from Trump. Interesting thought.
Yes to more wine.
Hi Donna: When I saw the results I couldn’t believe it. I still can’t. God only knows what damage this ass hat is going to do in the next 4 years. I am baffled that people can ignore who this guy is. Bigotry and Ignorance coupled with millions of folks not bothering to vote is what did it in my humble opinion. I am angry and sad at the same time. I have disconnected from most social media and refuse to watch the news. Netflix and chocolate are where I am at. I, like you, will continue to surround myself with like-minded positive non-Trumpers and look for joy in each day.
Maura
That’s the crux of it — how can people ignore who he is????? Netflix and chocolate is a good plan. I’m mostly staying off the news as well. There is still lots of joy to come, so I guess we just stay focused on that.
Totally bummed and completely baffled that so many people could be conned into voting for such a despicable candidate, when there was a very qualified and caring alternative!!
As a senior citizen, who is retired and reasonably well off, I don’t think my life will change too much. I can play ostrich and avoid the news and concentrate on keeping my head down and enjoying simple pleasures for the remainder of my life (hopefully). BUT I have big fears for my grandchildren, young women and our country in general.
Simply cannot understand what the majority of people are thinking!!!
Yes, it’s gonna come down to simple pleasures for me, too. I feel lucky to have such options. Even though I don’t have children, I also fear for the younger generation. As you said, what were people thinking???
I think you have said it well for so many of us. Heartsick, unable to comprehend the result so much not in the Democrats’ favor, and shuddering if they get the House as well.
I finally came around to reading some of the analyses out there but for many of the reasons you mention, how could they still vote for him? “Be careful what you wish for” is my message to those who voted for him.
I have wanted to comment on some earlier posts but have been dealing with the kitchen and dining room remodel from hell (don’t ask) for two months. The good news is that by chance, the installer they brought in to do our kitchen was/is a genius who made things happen above and beyond what he was hired to do, and the kitchen designer was superb at helping me make choices from my general explanation of what I wanted (my husband bowed out of this remodel as deference to my role as the cook aside from requesting stainless steel appliances). The final result is beautiful and completely functional which my old kitchen was not.
A long time ago you asked how I was doing after my hip replacement. I’ll just say that my right hip is very jealous of the left hip that had the replacement. Unfortunately, I was doing so well, I traveled too fast going down our flagstone steps in the backyard which is on three levels, stumbled, fell hard at a downward trajectory, hitting slightly below the left hip on the jagged outcropping of one of the flagstone steps. Pain with walking so went for X-rays of the hip. Hip fine, implant fine, they thought the pain was just from bruising. Two weeks later more X-rays and CT scan showed three minimally displaced fractures in my pelvis and (as if I didn’t already know) a seriously degenerating spine. By 8 weeks I could walk again and by 11 weeks I was praised for laying down so much good bone in those cracks. Three weeks with my wonderful PT who knows me well said hip is fine, pelvis fine, back a mess but gave me some new exercises with an exercise ball which I like a lot and also cleared me to go back to chair yoga (YogaVista) which I loved and am really happy to restart. I will just keep on, keeping on, working to avoid surgery just as I’ll keep on, keeping on, trying to not lose my mind during the four years of another Trump administration with some people of his choice as part of his administration that are more nutso than he is.
Oh, and we hired a wizened iron worker who created two great handrails and installed them next to the two steepest sets of steps. I had started using the steps again but promised my husband (and myself) to now always use the handrails. I hate having to take the extra care (old age, old age it screams to me) but I’m not stupid enough to be stubborn in that way. I’m the one who immediately looked for an iron worker to make the handrails. I’d like to progress through the years relatively unscathed.
Have a wonderful visit with your sister. Seems like a perfect time for a visit, yes? Send her home with lots of goodies.
I will try to comment more often in the future now that so many crises have passed. I so do enjoy your newsletters Donna.
Great to hear from you! I’m happy you’re back and feeling good.
Remodeling is the closest we’ve ever come to breaking up. Ours was over realtively quickly — our neighbors went on for over a year. I can’t imagine that.
That fall sounds horrible. I’m so careful, but I know it’s the bogey man out there. But good on you for being so smart about it and not letting it stop you. So hard not to be demoralized. I’m keeping a log now of my activities and what seems to trigger the pain so I can report it to my doctor in a couple of weeks. I suspect it’s all part of the sciatica thing and will continue with my phyiscal therapy. But I’ve cut back on the exercises until I know if my knee has some other sort of injury. The PT is great, but he sort of blew me off when I talked about the recent pain. Next time I’m taking in a picture of my torso with scars from amputated breasts and ovarian cancer (pelvis to sternum), and I will ask him. Do you think I don’t know what pain is?
Great idea to show your PT what you know about pain. He needs a reality check and that ought to do it!
Maybe you need a different PT. I wish you had my PT. He not only reminds me to think back to what I’ve been doing the past 24 hours when my pain increases which is what you are doing, but to stop when something causes pain, or, find an adaptation that doesn’t cause pain. In his book if it’s causing pain, that’s not a good thing and a reevaluation is in order. This is why it takes a minimum of 6 weeks to get in to see him because he’s always booked up but he’s always worth the wait.
You have my sympathies, but also I can empathise. We’ve been through this over here in the UK, and had to keep on keeping on in the hopes that it would change. Fortunately, it has, if off to a bit of rocky start. What I find most confusing is those who are offering reasons why the Harris/Walz ticket didn’t rock their boat, ‘cos if that caused them not to vote (and be among the 14m who didn’t), then clearly they didn’t understand their job is not only to use their vote for the best option available, but for the least worst one when that’s all that’s on offer.
May you find wonderful ways to soothe yourselves, to keep yourselves safe and content in the meantime.
PS: sorry to hear about your duck.
Thanks for the words of encouragement. Your experiences in the UK put things into perspective.
“Clearly they didn’t understand their job is not only to use their vote for the best option available, but for the least worst one when that’s all that’s on offer.”
You nailed that one.
Well said. I believe, though, that a lot of people who voted, especially young voters, were simply ill-informed. Hating Biden because he didn’t make Netanyahu get out of Gaza, for example. As if the US has control over Israel. And when they get info about that on social media, there is lots there to inflame them. I despair if we don’t fix our social media problem.
I’m with Dale on the food. Just one example: i bouight a family-size package of Trader joe’s milk chocolate covered mini pretzels. Have eaten most of the bag in three days. I guess now I will be gaining Election weight. But I can watch my diet when I’m not quite so needy.
I know. I even get mad at Israel and Hamas because without this mess over there, we might have had a chance. But deep down, I do understand they are not to blame for our shortcomings as a nation.
Social media is a serious problem. You can’t put the genie back in the bottle, but what can we do to mitigate its negative effects? I don’t know, but getting rid of Fox would be a good start.
Right now I could eat a whole bag of anything. I was thinking yesterday, I need to get this knee better so I can burn more calories!
I’m sad, angry and terrified. I can’t seem to focus on anything this week and am in the stress junk food eating mood, if I eat at all.
I’m also not sure how I will relate to family and friends I know who voted for him. Only my brother, as far as family and not too many friends as I live in a blue area of Virginia. Our Thanksgiving crowd will be all Harris supporters.
I do think he will dump Kennedy and Musk if they get more attention than him. Too many big egos competing. I’m sure he has never like them anyway.
I will also be surprised if he finishes his term due to the possibility of assassination, death or debilitating illness. However that is no silver lining because I think Vance is worse.
Stress junk food might not be the worst option! We feel the same way — wondering about people who voted for him. We know our neighbor is a supporter, and it’s hard to decide whether we just ignore him or try to be neighborly. And Musk! Ugh.
I’ve read that the hard right wants Vance anyway, and Trump was the way to get there. I loathe Vance as well, but at least he would be a new bad guy. I’m so sick of Trump.
Another shocked and disappointed person here. Who knows how long it will take for me to feel better because you can’t hurry grief. I haven’t felt the anger yet, and maybe I won’t. All I can do is be kind to myself, and find ways to nurture all the things that bring me joy, walks in nature, listening to good music, looking at art and maybe do some painting. I will also be indulging in chocolate and good wine. What’s the name of the winery in Amador? We enjoy going to the foothills and wine tasting too. Glad you posted your honest thoughts, Donna.
I think you have arrived at the perfect solution. Seriously, let’s be kind to ouselves at least. I’ve even thought about bird-watching. I just want to focus on things untainted by those miserable souls.
Amador has tons of great wineries. Our current favorite is Cooper. We especially like the Mourvedre and Barbera. They also have some nice whites. The tasting room is lovely, and they are so nice. We also like Vinco Noceto and Amador Cellars. Jeff Runquist is another good one.
Dear Donna, I have waited for a little while for your correspondents to reply to your post, totally on your side, as expected. I am as usual not committed either way, here or in the US. The only time I ever voted (in over 60 years of being ‘allowed’ to) was when the BREXIT vote was going on here in the 2010s. When Edward Heath (Prime Minister at the time – about 1964) signed us in, under the difficult terms imposed by the French and the Germans I was learning my way through it. The way the founders of the Commonwealth were treated – Australia, New Zealand, Canada etc was I thought disgusting. I am surprised they continued. Any way I hope your change of Government is not too hard for you.
Hi Alan. I’m starting to see the upside of being apolitical. I will continue to vote, but I’m done making myself miserable over things I can’t control.