You know the age old question for retirees. What do you do all day? If you find the idea of being bored in retirement preposterous, this post might be for you.
My thinking on this subject has morphed since I started watching Astrid on PBS Masterpiece. The show features a brilliant autistic woman named Astrid who works in criminal records and is recruited by a detective to help solve crimes. It’s French with subtitles, which I hardly notice.
Her autism bugged me at first, but I grew more comfortable with it as the series and the characters evolved. Wouldn’t it be great if it worked that way in real life? You spend some time with a person, get to know them and maybe they don’t seem so damn odd after all. One can hope.
A common characteristic of people with autism is the special interest, which is an intense hyper-focus area that brings joy and helps them stay centered. To some, a special interest may come across as obsessive, but a few of us out here might be envious.
I’m talking about we, the people, who have too many interests and sometimes have difficulty focusing. As for me, I’ve spent a lot of time and dropped a fair chunk of change on things that interested me … for a while.
Retirement changes the game. The good news is we have time and hopefully enough money to dabble, and sometimes we’re like kids in a candy store. It’s exciting to think, what do I want to try next? But then you realize time doesn’t last forever, and it’s a fixed income, anyway, so you can’t get stupid with it.
I already have plenty of interests, but every now and then I’m tempted by some new shiny object. Sewing is one. I used to jump for it, but now that I’m older and wiser, I start thinking about the start-up costs, learning curve, space requirements, time commitment – and I get stuck.
Like Astrid, do I need something to stay centered? She inspired me to think about my current hobbies as special interests. Plural. These are the activities that have stood the test of time. Instead of spreading myself too thin, I want to make the most of what I know is sustainable.
My approach to these interests is haphazard at best. I grow cannabis, for example, but sometimes my yields are unsatisfactory, and I’ve done nothing to dig deeper and find out why. Cooking is a big one, but there’s no organization or the slightest bit of discipline to my approach. The house looks like a recipe bomb exploded, and no one came to clean up the debris.
One of the joys of retirement is that you can throw rigid schedules out the window, and I relish my laid back lifestyle. That said, it’s time to focus on my special interests in a more mindful way. Pay more attention to the details.
For starters, I bought a book about growing cannabis, and it has given me good ideas for how to improve my yield. I spend an inordinate amount of time on puzzles, so I might cap that at an hour a day. Swimming is 30 minutes of freestyle, but I could easily introduce some variations to my workout.
While I suppose there’s a certain charm to being the eccentric Bohemian who dabbles in what amuses her, retirement by shiny object can be stressful. I waste a lot of time doing not much of anything because I’m overwhelmed by choices. On the other hand, I don’t want a hardcore regimen about what I do when.
If this dilemma sounds familiar, I can offer a few suggestions that will perhaps help us maximize the pleasures and outcomes of things we already do.
Does this interest make you happy? How much time are you committing? Think weekly not daily – overall, is there balance? Do you feel calm? Would you enjoy improving your skill level or technique? Can you throw some money at it? Will a schedule or some sort of organizational structure bring clarity, improve your performance or just create unwanted stress?
There will come a day when I ignore all reason and go for it, but right now I’m saying no to sewing and other shiny objects so I can properly tend to my current garden of interests.
Hi Donna!
So glad you are continuing your blog into 2025!
Just wanted you to know that I read the latest Tana French book — your recent post got me energized and lo and behold , there was one of her books I haven’t read. Just finished The Hunter and thoroughly enjoyed it. While a bit softer, I can suggest Louise Penny for mystery/crime novels.
Regarding hobbies, I’m going to do painted rock garden this year. Low investment ,low skill, and hopefully very enjoyable. I love retirement and not doing much. Turns out it suits me!
I loved The Hunter but accidentally violated my rule of reading books in order. The first one is The Searcher. Haven’t read it yet.
Low investment, low skill — that’s a great starting point! It is funny how some of us who were hard chargers at work settle nicely into not doing much. Congratulations!
Great post that hits home with me. I don’t have enough hours in my day to do everything I want. Funny that you would mention sewing. I sewed for years and thought I would do it often in retirement but I have not been drawn to it. So, I would add to your excellent list of suggestions for this dilemma – what draws you so much that you can’t wait to get back to it?
That’s a perfect question, but I have to confess that sometimes I feel that way about my art, and sometimes I’m not so eager to get back to it. I’m on an extended break right now, and I sort of miss it …
OMG… retirement by shiny object, that is so me. I am firmly entrenched in the state of denial, thinking that I have all the time in the world. My face in the mirror suggests otherwise. I’m not sure I could find one thing to focus on, but narrowing my interests down would be helpful. That and fewer puzzles. 🙂
I can usually knock out the NY Times puzzles in an hour — Strands, Connections, Spelling Bee, Wordle and the Mini. Sometimes a sodoku, but that’s only if I really have some time to burn. The one that I need to put a cap on is Letter Boxed. I must do it in two words, and that can be difficult and time-consuming. But it’s addictive, and I do think I’m getting better at it. Must be good for the brain, right???
Boredom is not in my vocabulary. I’ve come to the conclusion that there is no “nothing” for even when I’m doing nothing (apparently) I’m resting or planning or reflecting. You get the picture. I’ve also come to the conclusion when people ask “what do you do all day?” they’re not that interested in what I do but are really asking what they would do in retirement given such time at their disposal. Free time can be a challenge. I try to do time so time doesn’t do me. I’m reminded of Bob Lowry’s (of the now defunct blog Satisfying Retirement) advice for managing retirement – each day, do something that needs doing & something that wants doing. And in the words of a SIL, there’s always a list of things left undone. As for finding your passion to turn into a hobby, I like Marian’s words, what draws you so much you can’t wait to get back to it? or you lose track of time as you engage in it. Scrapbooking was one of those things for me. Sadly, I haven’t done it for a few years even as the pics pile up, digitally or otherwise.
You are so right about “doing nothing” isn’t really doing nothing. I don’t beat myself up for that, either. I would like to manage my time better so I can fully enjoy all my activities.
I’m great at doing nothing!! I agree with Mona that when people ask what you do all day, they’re really trying to figure out what they would do. With some, it’s an innocent question and they really want to know. With others, however, I get a sense of feeling they’re too good for retirement. That is, they can’t imagine doing nothing. I always feel a bit sorry for those people, once I get over the feeling of condescension.
I wholeheartedly agree. Some people just can’t let go. I love the line,”they’re too good for retirement.” Perfect assessment.