And the beep goes on

I’ve been feeling quite happy lately but not particularly inspired to write or work on my art. I wondered if it’s a message from God that I’m not very good at either one, and I should quit, and from there I started to shut down.

Thankfully, I remembered my emerging theory that when evaluating the enjoyment factor of life after work, results are overrated. Just let go, she says to herself. In large part, retirement is about making it to the finish line and doing whatever you can get away with.

While you were busy learning Mandarin or perhaps planning your next trip to Machu Picchu, assuming you can still get in and out of there, I took it upon myself to count the number of beeps I typically encounter in a day. I’m up to 15, but I’m pretty sure I’ve missed a few.

It’s crazy how devices and appliances have wormed their way into our brains. I wonder if anyone has studied how this affects us. In a way, it’s like being zapped with a tiny dose of electricity every few minutes. That’s got to add up to something horrible, don’t you think?

My wireless cell phone charger makes a double-beep sound when you hit the elusive sweet spot. The dishwasher beeps when it starts and again when it’s done. The washing machine is special. A beep to turn it on, a beep to select the cycle, yet another for the water temperature and a final beep to start the whole thing. When it’s done, it plays a string of beeps one might call a tune or jingle.

The Washing Machine Song, not to be confused with the pizza song, which we actually wrote ourselves.

Pizza, pizza, ya, ya, ya

Pizza, pizza, ha, ha, ha

Then there’s Dale’s old watch with an alarm set for 10:22 a.m. It goes off in a flurry of beeps every single day, but he can’t hear it, and neither one of us knows how to turn it off. Good news is I’m up by then, so it’s not really a problem. Not like the smoke alarm battery, which never, ever goes off during business hours.

There’s more, but you get the idea. I mean it’s nice to have audible alerts, but in evolutionary terms, I’m sure there’s a price to pay.

So, Christmas is on. We’re not doing a tree this year, probably because I’ve complained bitterly in the past about what a pain in the ass it is. Dale likes a tree, but a man can only take so much. I suggested we try it just this once without, and if he really misses it, I’ll back off forever. I think that’s a fair deal.

We only get each other one present. A few from the sisters arrived in the mail. I suggested we put them under the coffee table in lieu of the tree, which we know now is on sabbatical. He sort of went for it, but the cat is not digging this whole scene. Everyday, the presents get pushed just a wee bit further out from under the table. It’s actually quite entertaining. If for no other reason, we’ll probably go back to the tree just to keep the cat happy.

In terms of entertainment, I can recommend a couple of good books and a streaming opportunity. For books, I can’t say enough great things about Andy Weir’s Project Mail Mary. He wrote The Martian, which I also loved.

Another excellent read was Lost in the Valley of Death: A Story of Obsession and Danger in the Himalayas by Harley Rustad. The story reminded me of Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer. It’s kind of sick and wrong, but I enjoy reading about these complex people who self-destruct in the wilderness.

Although I’ve never read the Louise Penny books featuring Inspector Gamache, they are on my list. Conveniently, I stumbled upon Three Pines on Amazon Prime. The show is based on her books, and there’s only one season so far, but I like it a lot.

I used to read a fair amount of science fiction but usually default to crime. After reading Project Hail Mary, I decided to make more of an effort in the sci-fi genre. Already downloaded and ready to go is Leviathan Wakes by James S. A. Corey. Space adventure featuring a detective! Like it was made for me.

Risks and rewards of travel

Redwood Sky Walk at the zoo in Eureka, CA

I feel like I jumped the shark with that swimsuit photo. It is challenging to deal with this post-mastectomy body. I got carried away after I found a flattering swimsuit and wanted to show off a little. Still, it seems a bit too showy.

Oh, well. I guess there are worse things. I spent decades feeling bad about my body, so what the hell?

I just returned from a visit with my sister, whom I haven’t seen since before the pandemic. She lives in Eureka. The drive is about five and a half hours, but for some reason, we can’t seem to pull it off very often. We’re both super-cautious about Covid, so that’s part of it. The day before I left, we both did home Covid tests, and both were negative.  

We had a great time, mostly just visiting and watching movies. I was only there for three nights, but it was movie marathon. I don’t think any of them will win the critic’s award, but we enjoyed ourselves. Let’s see if I can remember:

  • Jungle Cruise (our favorite ride from Disneyland)
  • The Lost City (because old ladies deserve to look at Channing Tatum)
  • The Proposal (because we were on a Sandra Bullock kick)
  • Office Space (because we’re retired)
  • Bohemian Rhapsody
  • Rocketman
  • The Mountain Between Us (Kate Winslet)
  • Guardians of the Galaxy
  • Persuasion
  • Good Luck to You, Leo Grande (Emma Thompson bares it all)

I may have missed one or two! It was definitely chick flick central, and I have no remorse. I’m just glad Dale didn’t tag along, as he we would have been miserable.

We also visited the local zoo. While not large, it is an exceptionally nice zoo. My favorite part was seeing two bald eagles up close. Amazing!! My other favorite part is a new feature called the Redwood Sky Walk. You can walk on a series of bridges through the redwood canopy. Very beautiful and accessible for people who use wheelchairs.

Eureka is chilly by my standards. I was bundled up, and my sister walked around like it was summer. We are very different, yet we have a lot in common, and of course, we share the experience of being raised by wolves. As children, it was difficult, but as adults, we can look back and laugh. It’s amazing we’re walking upright.

Back at home, the heat has turned extreme. I played golf yesterday, and I can definitely feel it today. I was lying on the couch, got up too fast and almost passed out. Today is all about getting hydrated.  Then a swim later this afternoon.

This visit was relatively low-risk, and the rewards were immeasurable. Being able to drive there is a huge plus. We have tickets to fly to Maine in August to visit Dale’s sisters, but the jury is still out on that one. Anticipating Covid eruptions, we bought refundable tickets.

I spent a lot of time planning the itinerary, which airports to go through, etc. The flights have already been changed twice, and now we’re going through Kennedy one way and LaGuardia the other. Exactly where I didn’t want to be in terms of Covid risk, although I’m not sure it makes much of a difference. I would guess most airports are risky.

The whole thing scares me, and I’m probably not going to go. I told Dale I would make my decision this week.

After 43 years, it’s still hard to pry anything out of him, so I don’t know what he’s going to do. He and his sister are close, so I believe he’ll go no matter what. I think I just have to do my risk/reward assessment and figure out what feels right for me at this point.  Are you traveling? How do you decide?

I hate that it has come to this, but there you have it. Reality bites. But small wins – a visit with my sister – make up for the other indignities of our times.

Speaking of indignities, I’m eager to see the primetime Jan. 6 hearing this Thursday. I mean, it’s not exactly Channing Tatum, but it will do.

Cheerfulness breaking through

Number 26

I’m emerging from a self-imposed funk, and I started to write about all the racist, sexist bullshit things that are pissing me off right now, but once I go down that rabbit hole, it’s hard to climb back out. I’ll just say this. I don’t believe in conspiracy theories, but from what I’ve seen, we’d be better off if about half of the country is replaced. Bring it on.

Buffalo sent me over the edge, but I’m creeping back toward the middle now. Trying to focus on simple pleasures. Things I can control such as my body (but that’s only because I don’t have a uterus).

Oops, there I go again. Back to our regular programming.

As an avid golfer, I couldn’t wait to retire because I read somewhere you get better and better if you practice and play a lot. I’m a decent golfer, but after a few years of playing three times a week, I’m not much better than when I played twice a month. I must have missed the part that said, “Individual Results May Vary.”

This week I made the momentous decision to cut one day off my weekly golf schedule. And in the end, it really has nothing to do with how well I play. Golf is a time-sucker, and there’s too much competition on the hobby front – swimming, walking, cooking, reading, writing and making art. Oh, and I just signed up for the free version of Duolingo to learn Spanish.

The pool at the club where I swim laps is finally warm enough to swim without a thermal top. Without all that weighing me down, I felt like Flipper! I never could find a one-piece that fit, so I ended up buying these tops at Lululemon. They’re not swimsuits per se, but they work great for those of us who have had a mastectomy without reconstruction. I pair them with basic bottoms from Target.

Today is Dale’s birthday, so he’s making fajitas. I was willing to cook, but that’s what he wanted, and fajitas are his thing. I did make cheesecake! We both love it, but sometimes I think we just need a batch of graham cracker crust now and then. I’m thinking about waffles for tomorrow morning. I like this recipe from King Arthur. You can make the batter ahead and refrigerate it overnight.

I’ve been kind of burned out on streaming shows, although the new Bosch series is great. If you like seriously twisted crime fiction, I recommend The Turnout by Megan Abbott. It’s about a family of ballet dancers, and she does for ballet what she did for cheerleaders in Dare Me. It’s all sick and wrong, but that’s why you read Megan Abbott.

On a more pleasant note, I read the first two in a series of Victorian mysteries by Tasha Alexander featuring Lady Emily Ashton. They are a tad tame for me, but I liked them a lot and will probably read the rest. I’m not proud, but I have Tina Brown’s new book about the royals on reserve at the library. The Palace Papers – looks like she dishes on just about everyone, and for some reason, that appeals to me at this moment in time.  

I updated the gallery to include my last two pieces, Number 26 and Number 27. I couldn’t be happier to have discovered the joys of art later in life. With the time I’m getting back by skipping a day of golf, I think I’m going to visit Dick Blick and see what that’s all about. I’ve never been, although I do order from them online.

For many of us, it’s hard to stay positive, yet I somehow manage (for the most part). I’m reminded of the late musician Leonard Cohen, who said, “I’ve studied all the philosophies and all the theologies, but cheerfulness keeps breaking through!”

My first walking playlist

My favorite advice columnist these days is Carolyn Hax, who writes for the Washington Post. She’s not a therapist, but her responses are so intelligent and so insightful, I’d pay for some couch time with this journalist.

In a recent column, she urged a writer to respond to another person’s nasty comment with her honest feelings … something along the lines of, “What an unkind thing to say.” She said don’t let anything stand unchallenged. Invite difficult people out into the open.

Carolyn ends the column with this: “The truth is your power. Remaining calm is your superpower.”

Indeed!

After a shaky start earlier in my career, I became quite good at keeping things bottled up at work, where we used to say only the whale that surfaces gets harpooned. Or never complain, never explain. While I did speak up and was good at keeping calm in a crisis, figuring out what to say and when to say it was practically a full-time job.

Carefully choreographed restraint was useful in the workplace, but it’s not particularly helpful for the rest of our lives, when theoretically we are free to let it all hang out. But as it turns out, managing interpersonal communication is a key life skill we need more than ever in retirement.

I say that because I believe the default is to make us invisible. Have you noticed that? No longer young and jobby, sometimes it feels like no one sees or hears us anymore. At first, I was like, fine. Who cares? I’ll just keep a low profile and go about my merry way.

It worked for a while, but eventually it takes a toll. As I’ve written in previous posts, I believe my sciatica is at least partially exacerbated by repressed emotions. At first, I thought it was the big stuff, childhood drama and all that, but now I think it’s everyday communication or lack thereof.

In my last post, I wrote about my experience on the golf course, where I finally said in a very kind and truthful way how I felt about some behaviors I found unsettling. I feel great! Carolyn is right about owning your truth and staying calm.

It’s an art form. I’ve been practicing, asking more questions and being less judgmental yet stating quite clearly where I stand. As my communication skills improve, so does my back. Pain is complicated, and I understand not everyone will have the same experience, but it seems like it’s working for me. Perhaps there’s a nugget or two in this continuing saga that might help you.

My first Walking Playlist

I’m loving Spotify and have been goofing around with playlists. Yesterday, I walked for an hour to this playlist, and it was so much fun I couldn’t not share it. I didn’t use beats per minute or anything professional like that, so my advice is to keep your normal pace and not let the music drive you to do more than you safely can.

Walking is not required. Think of it as an eclectic collection of music that brings a smile to your face and makes you want to move. Maybe a little sing-a-long if you are so inclined. Below are the songs if you use a different streaming service. For an hour’s walk, I turn around somewhere in the middle of La Bamba.

  • Billie Jean – Michael Jackson
  • Yes Sir, I Can Boogie – Baccara
  • Streets of Bakersfield – Dwight Yoakam
  • Shake Your Hips – Joan Osborne
  • Everyday People – Sly & The Family Stone
  • The Holy Grail – John Fogerty
  • Bear Cat – Rufus Thomas
  • London Calling – The Clash
  • Dumas Walker – The Kentucky Headhunters
  • La Bamba – Flaco Jimenez & Steve Jordan
  • Refugee – Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
  • All The Lilacs in Ohio – John Hiatt & The Jerry Douglas Band
  • Stayin’ Alive – Bee Gees
  • Is Anybody Goin’ to San Antone – Texas Tornados
  • I Love to Love – Tina Charles
  • Highway 61 Revisited – Bob Dylan
  • Papa Was a Rollin’ Stone – The Band of Heathens & Ray Wylie Hubbard

Managing chronic pain

According to the neurosurgeon, most of my back problems are typical age-related degeneration. I have one disc bulge that is squeezing the spine (if I’m even saying that correctly). Basically, the result is spinal stenosis. He said that’s why I have pain in my lower buttocks. Hey, but ask Dale. He already knew I was a pain in the ass.

The neurosurgeon said I was way better off than most people with this degree of stenosis. He attributed my good fortune to physical fitness and encouraged me to keep doing whatever I’m doing. I was happy to hear I can still walk, swim and play golf, and even happier to hear him say it’s unlikely I’d ever need surgery. That’s good, because after multiple cancer surgeries, I have already fulfilled my surgical obligations.

In the meantime, I’ve been working on the mind-body connection. I started with Healing Back Pain by John Sarno. He believed repressed emotions cause most chronic pain, but other than understanding that concept and accepting it, he didn’t offer much in the way of advice.

Dr. Sarno was seen as a bit of a quack in his day, but there’s new research that vindicates him. It seems lots of medical professionals now believe chronic pain starts and ends in the brain – you just have to work a bit at reprogramming your physical responses to emotions such as anger, fear, shame and guilt.

After reading some of the newer articles like this one, I signed up for a program at Curable. There are all sorts of brain exercises and training modules to help navigate through chronic pain. Within a couple of weeks, I was virtually pain-free.

Then out of the blue, it cranked up again. There’s an emergency section of the app for when you have a flare-up, and it walks you through some ideas to help get you back on track. I thought I had dealt with all my emotional baggage and couldn’t imagine what was left.

After doing the module this morning, I’ve discovered a few more unresolved issues. Nothing big – she says – just the granddaddy of them all. Who am I? Why am I here? How much time to I have on this Earth, and what should I do with it?

I never really thought about those sorts of things when I was busy earning a living. It was just grind, grind, grind, and in retrospect, there’s something to be said for that mode of existence. In retirement, I have the pleasure of waking up in the middle of the night to engage in existential discussions with myself. But at least I can sleep in.

As long as I’m moving, I’m fine. Sitting is the worst. What else do I do when I sit? Why, write, of course. Since I haven’t written anything in a couple of weeks, I’m wondering if there’s a connection.

As I try to get rid of this butt ache, which is really, I think, an aching for knowledge, wisdom, value or purpose, choose one or all of the above, it would seem I have some work to do. I’ve decided that’s OK.

I try not to think of life as a game to win or lose. Things seem to work better for me when I forget about being MVP and just show up for practice.

P.S. If you’re looking for some great reading featuring a strong (and I mean badass) female protagonist, I highly recommend the Jane Whitefield series by Thomas Perry. Jane is a Native American who helps people disappear when bad guys are after them. Vanishing Act is first in the series. And joy of joys, there are nine of them!

Bouncing back from injury

Although I don’t bounce like I used to, I am recovered from whatever I did to myself when I fell in the bathroom. Now I’m back to whatever I’ve had for the past 10 years or so. In the absence of fractures or other potential mishaps, chronic pain never felt so good.

That means I’m back on the golf tour this week. I also want to get back to swimming and light weights. I visit the physical therapist Monday and will see what she thinks. For the most part, golf has not made my lower back pain worse, but I’m not so sure about the other two. Still, I refuse to lay flat on my back if I have a choice, so that’s that. Onward and upward.

I’m more conscious about calcium since the osteoporosis business. I do eat dairy and lots of other calcium-rich foods, but I decided to add canned sardines to my rotation. Dale has been eating them for years. I like them, especially on a Triscuit!

Do you eat sardines? I would love to hear more ideas – how to enjoy them best, any particular brands or seasonings you like. I’m not afraid to throw some money at a premium product. Although Dale is even more of a food snob than I am, sardines are sort of his bachelor food, and he just buys whatever he sees first.  

I do believe back pain is sometimes connected to our emotions, so I’ve been trying to deal with my anger about the pandemic. I tell myself, yes, I am angry it was politicized. It did not have to go down this way. I’m angry with the people who won’t get vaccinated. I’m angry we’re going back to masks again. I’m angry that it looks like this thing will drag on forever.

But that anger does not make my back hurt! My back is strong. I can do anything I want.

At least that’s what I’m telling myself.

I finally read Victim 2117, the latest in Jussi Adler-Olsen’s Department Q series featuring Carl Mørck. I started it a couple of times but didn’t get too far. Sometimes it takes me a while to get into his books, but when I do, I love them. This one was excellent – quite the dramatic backstory of Carl’s sidekick, Assad.

As I was Googling the book so I could copy and paste the slashed o in Mørck, I discovered there are Department Q movies! Has anyone seen them? Looks like some are available on Amazon. I’ve been re-watching Outlander. I had already burned through the final season of Bosch and needed a complete distraction.

We had to cancel our trip to Lassen Volcanic National Park due to fires in the area. If it’s not one thing, it’s two. Or three. Or four.

For a little while, it felt like we had turned a corner on the virus and life was becoming whatever passes for normal these days. But it looks bad out there. In our zip code, 77 percent have been fully vaccinated, and 84 percent have at least one dose. Yet our positivity and case rates are higher than you’d expect.

Most of those testing positive in our area are between the ages of 18-49. While we’ve all been reading about breakthrough cases, I would assume most aren’t vaccinated. I can’t fix that, so I tell myself to just roll with whatever I have to roll with.

And so, we turn to happy thoughts. Dinner. We have leftover grilled tri-tip and fresh corn and tomatoes from the farmer’s market. I’m making a loaf of sourdough bread, so we’ll cobble together a meal out of that. Dale is making happy hour nachos with fresh jalapeños from his garden. Cheese is medicinal.

We have a nice stash of limes, so I might make a margarita. Have you heard of ranch water? It’s a drink. I have not had one, but I was reading about them. It sounds like a fizzy margarita. Same basic ingredients topped with seltzer water. I guess the fizz of choice is Topo Chico, which I’ve also never had.

I might have to go back to the happy hour laboratory and return to you with a complete report. It’s all about sacrifice.

Thanks, Tom Hanks

I’ve had a bit of the cobbly mobbly and self-medicated with TV. While I have been among those who complain actors make too much money, entertainment is a valuable service, is it not? As far as I’m concerned, they earn it.

Amazon Prime and Netflix are my two principal sources of distraction. I’m a tight wad about “paying by the drink” on Amazon, so I’m always on the prowl for free movies and shows. But I’ve had the cobbly mobbly, so all bets are off.

In the “free to me” category on Amazon, I watched (again), Bull Durham, Cinderella, Blue Hawaii, Dances with Wolves, Seabiscuit and two versions of Heidi. I love Heidi.

And Elvis, so beautiful before it all went bad. His girlfriend in the movie wore a dress with a fitted bodice and a flared skirt, and in one scene, she flings off the skirt to reveal the fitted bodice is actually a one-piece swimsuit, so leaving the skirt behind, she jumps in water for a swim. Why don’t they make those anymore?

On Netflix, where it only feels free, I watched (again), Legally Blonde, The Queen’s Gambit and My Fair Lady. I liked The Queen’s Gambit better the second time around. Not sure why, but it seems I was less concerned about what was going to happen and could just stay in the moment and watch what was actually happening. This might be an important life lesson.

I love the music from My Fair Lady, but the story doesn’t hold up over time. Professor Higgins was an asshole. She should have married Freddy, although he was a bit of a stalker hanging around on the street where she lives.

New to me were Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom and Rebecca. Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom was excellent. Not a feel-good story but exceptionally well-done and quite powerful. Chadwick Boseman, who recently passed away from colon cancer, was remarkable.

Rebecca is a remake of the classic. I liked it!

Last night I did not dream I went to Manderley again, but instead, I started watching the second season of the French show Lupin on Netflix. Omar Sy plays a gentleman thief with an ax to grind. He’s a good actor, and I find him to be quite sexy. So far, so good.

And that takes us back to Amazon, where I’m waiting for the final season of Bosch to drop. In the meantime, I had to throw some money at it. I watched News of the World with Tom Hanks. I recently read the book and loved it. Usually, the movies aren’t as good as the book, but this one was great and followed the book pretty much exactly (as best as I could tell).

I’m happy Tom Hanks chose acting as his profession, and he can have all the money. He really is good. If it ever turns out he’s a creep in real life, it’s all over. Civilization screeches to a halt.

I also threw some money at Kate Winslet, because damn, she deserves it. I watched Ammonite for the second time. That’s twice I threw money at it. She plays British paleontologist Mary Anning. The story takes place in the mid-1800s and delves into her professional and personal life, including a same-sex relationship with Saoirse Ronan.

No, I swear I didn’t watch it twice just for the steamy sex scenes. But stop me if I go back for a third. It’s such an interesting story, the scenery is spectacular and Kate Winslet captures the soul of a woman on the edge of shutting down emotionally. You can see and feel both her pain and her hope that maybe she can let someone in.

Whilst we’re on the Kate Winslet trail, I paid for the first season of Mare of Easttown, which was originally on HBO. She plays a deeply troubled detective in the Philadelphia area trying to solve a murder and the case of a girl who has disappeared.

Good story, great acting and in my humble opinion, Kate does a damned good job with that unique Pennsylvania accent. It’s all about the O’s.

That’s a wrap.

Two days and a wake-up

OUr second vaccines

Dale and I have been counting down the days until we get our second Pfizer vaccines. While there were some delays due to weather, it looks like we’re on track to get ours on schedule. As we used to say in the military, it’s two days and a wake-up!

Then it’s a two-week wait, and of course, we understand nothing is risk-free. It’s not like we’re changing our lives. Still, I have an appointment for a haircut exactly two weeks after. That appointment is the only thing between me and an ugly episode of Hair Clippers Gone Wild.

Unless it gets really bad again, we’d like to go camping when it warms up. I need art supplies, and I’m looking forward to wandering around a store instead of ordering it on Amazon.

A home for my art?

Speaking of art, I’m still a little cautious about sharing my woodburning art projects with people who may not like them. My sisters-in-law each received one for Christmas, and I understand they were not impressed. I get it, art is personal, blah, blah, blah.

I wondered if I could donate them to a thrift store that benefits a non-profit organization I’d feel good about supporting. I found one shop that benefits a cat shelter, and that might well be my first stop.

As for the art, they may love it, they may hate it or my little creations might not be a good fit for their clientele, but once I’m in the immune-zone, I plan to pay a visit.

A cooking failure

We had a rare cooking failure this week. Dale and I both love fried oysters, and it’s one of the few things we don’t make at home. We have one of those big home deep fryers but rarely use it. I made onion rings in it a few years ago, and they were greasy and soggy. I thought the temperature gauge was off.

But we kept it. This week Dale decided to test it. He filled the fryer with oil and heated it up, setting the temperature to 350 and then 375 degrees. The thermostat registered the proper temperature after the appropriate amount of time, and he used a separate instant-read thermometer for cross-reference.

Then he bought fresh oysters and shucked them himself. These were tough to open, and it was quite a task. He also decided to make homemade French fries and coleslaw to go with. There was some sort of coating made with buttermilk and cornmeal, but I wasn’t paying attention at that point.

He cooked it all up, and the oysters and French fries were inedible greasy soggy messes. I also had the audacity to say he put too much mayonnaise in the coleslaw. That did not help. I believe he described it as “piling on.”

It seems the machine heats up properly but can’t maintain temperature. So totally not Dale’s fault, although he felt terrible. We both get quite devasted when our food fails for whatever reason.

Anyway, the fryer (not the person who fries) is gone, although we will probably look for another one. We don’t do the big fry often, but those jumbo-sized things are handy.

Books and TV

I’m almost finished with Schitt’s Creek, and I have enjoyed it much more since I basically told Dale he had to binge-watch it with me or pass. In other words, Schitt’s or get off the pot.

I just can’t get into a show when he only wants to watch it once a month. I love it, but I do wish David would get married already. This is taking forever.

I highly recommend Lupin on Netflix but with only six episodes, it was over way too fast. It’s a French show, dubbed, about the son of an immigrant from Senegal who grows up to be a world-class thief with a heart of gold and a penchant for amazing disguises. I understand there are more at the ready, but they are waiting until summer to release them.

I’m on the waiting list at the library for Jussi Adler-Olsen’s Victim 2117, the last of the Department Q series about Danish detective Carl Mørck. The previous book in the series told the back story of sidekick Rose, and I believe this one is about Assad – a great character with a secretive past.

Also from the library, I’m reading Beginners: The Joy and Transformative Power of Lifelong Learning by Tom Vanderbilt. I should probably do a complete review, but I’m not sure I will. I like it, and I suspect a lot of retirees will be inspired by it, but the author sort of annoys me. He’s a journalist with a wife and family who decides to learn to sing and surf, among other activities.

I mean, sure, he wrote a book about it and will hopefully recoup some of his expenses, but I can’t help thinking about his wife, and what it must have felt like for her as he went off on this mid-life journey disguised as work.

Sorry about the mess, honey, but I’m late for choir practice! It feeds my soul! Oh, can you take me to the airport next week? I’m off to Costa Rica for surfing lessons!

I’m probably not being fair. I’ve been sort of cranky lately. I mean, I’m more relaxed and sleeping way better with The Former Guy somewhat out of the picture, but there’s still a lot of bad stuff going down out there, and I have to force myself to let go of things I can’t control.

Note to self: Stay away from the hair clippers.

Roadkill pizza & home haircuts

Preparing to snip off the ends of my hair using the patented pigtail technique.

I started to get in a funk this week. The pandemic. Trump. Just the weight of it all taking a toll, and I say that as someone who has it pretty damn easy. Do you suppose there’s a sleeping pill I can take tonight and wake up Jan. 20?

My remedy was to make another donation to the food bank and just get on with life. The whole simple pleasures thing. One good laugh, and I’m OK. Thankfully, Dale delivered.

He came back from a run and said there was a pizza box by someone’s trash with leftover pizza hanging out the side. He said it was kind of gross smashed up on the street and missing a couple of bites, but then he added, “You know, it still looked good.”

I don’t know. I find it highly amusing to think pizza still looks good even when it’s essentially road kill. Fortunately, I have a personal pizza chef. Tonight’s is what we call Punishment Pizza. Shrimp, goat cheese, Kalamata olives, basil and habanero peppers.

Other highlights from the week:

  • Finished watching River on Amazon Prime. Wow. Part moody cop drama and part otherworldly romance. Oh, and there’s an old disco song you will never get out of your brain. I’ve re-watched the last episode several times just for the dance scene with Stellan Skarsgård and Nicola Walker.
  • Validated my hypothesis that pumpkin cheesecake is good for breakfast. And then I tested it again just to be sure.
  • Splurged on another pair of “yoga” pants. At 65, I need some structure. My favorites are the Headlands Hybrid Cargo Tight from Athleta. At $108, they are not cheap, but these pants are durable, comfortable, versatile and flattering.
  • For a brief moment, I missed the feeling of being good at my job. Then I remembered the executive who had a temper tantrum when the company began to promote work-life balance. He said work was life and didn’t require balance. I realized I’m actually pretty good at retirement.
  • Decided to hoard my woodburning art creations as some sort of primitive documentation that I was here. Like etchings from the pandemic cave.
  • Cut my hair using the patented pigtail technique. I don’t think I’m losing abnormal amounts of hair, but I cleaned the bathroom today, and it’s like King Kong shaved in there. I have entertained the idea of buzzing it all off.

Waiting for marshmallows

A snip from my reading spreadsheet.

New covid restrictions

Our county was among most in California that got bumped back down to the strictest tier of COVID restrictions. I go four places – the golf course, the grocery store, the library and the outdoor swimming pool at my health club.

I believe the library will have to close, but I can still get curb-side pick-up and digital books. The health club can no longer have indoor activities, and I would be surprised if they keep the pool open. Perhaps no swimming for me.

All in all – no big deal. We are prepared to ride this out. As social misfits, it seems like we were born to hunker down. Even before the pandemic, I’d freak if the doorbell rang. Who could that be? What do they want?

The governor is also thinking about a curfew. As in maybe shutting everything down by 10 p.m. OK by me. I forgot people stayed out that late. And I’ve long maintained nothing good happens after midnight.

Just so you know, I am an equal opportunity critic. Governor Newsom went to a dinner party at the famous Napa restaurant, The French Laundry. Aside from the ridiculous cost when people in the state he represents are suffering and dying, and normal restaurants can’t survive, people from several different households attended the dinner. It was outdoors, so he thought it was OK.

Seriously. He should know better. I like the guy and overall, I think he’s doing a good job, but that was just plain dumb. To his credit, he apologized, which is something his critics in Washington can’t seem to manage. I can forgive someone who makes a mistake and admits it.

I think a lot about why people can’t band together and do what it takes to control the spread of this virus. I’ve concluded some people are just stupid or arrogant, and others lack the discipline to stay the course.

Remember the marshmallow test? Social science researchers put a marshmallow in front of a child and said she could have a second one – but only if she can last 15 minutes without eating the first one. The kids who can hold out for double the payout presumably have the willpower to do well in school, work and life.

Somewhere along the line, it seems we ended up with a boatload of people who can’t wait for the second marshmallow. And here we are.

Comfort Food

That’s why God invented comfort food. I’ve been making a list of our favorite decadent dishes we hope to make over the next several months. Of course, we don’t eat like this every night.

  • Stuffed Cabbage – cabbage rolls stuffed with ground meat (we use bison) and rice and simmered for hours in a hearty tomato sauce. Served with dark rye bread and European butter.
  • Transylvanian Layered Cabbage – a casserole with layers of sauerkraut, rice, sour cream and a mixture of ground pork, diced bacon and thin-sliced smoked sausage that has been well-browned. Served with dark rye bread and European butter.
  • Venison Meatloaf – a retro meatloaf made in a ring mold. Seasoned with onion soup mix, topped with a tangy ketchup-brown sugar sauce and smothered with melted jack cheese. Accompanied by wide egg noodles in a thick poppy seed-sour cream sauce.
  • Roast Duck – duckling roasted crisp in the oven with a slightly sweet orange sauce. Maybe some wild rice and a veggie to go with, but it’s all about the duck.
  • Beef Stroganoff – thin slices of beef tenderloin browned with sautéed mushrooms in a sour cream-shallot sauce. Served over wide egg noodles.
  • Porchetta Tarts – individual free-form tarts in a pastry crust filled with a pork-pancetta mixture, seasoned with fennel and sage and served with sage-butter sauce.

non-edible entertainment

As for entertainment you can’t eat, I’m back on the Department Q series by Jussi Adler-Olsen. For some reason, I had a hard time getting started with The Marco Effect, which is fifth in the series. I’ve checked it out three times and never read it, finally going back one more time. And it turned out to be my favorite so far. I think it was election stress that kept me from focusing.

All of the sudden I’m a fan of British crime shows. I started with Unforgotten, free on Amazon Prime. I absolutely adore Nicola Walker as DCI Cassie Stuart leading the department that investigates cold cases. The show is less about violence and more about how crime affects people’s lives.

I’m just starting River, which is on Netflix and also features Nicola Walker. Amazon has a bunch more British crime shows, but most of them are not on Prime. BritBox would be another option, but I don’t want another subscription at this time. We’ll see how long that lasts!