Category: Books, TV & Music

Abandoning lame old guy humor

Re-purposing corporate swag as a cannabis journal. Because who can stop me now?

My, my, my corona

I worry about all things big and small. When I first retired, I feared the showdown with North Korea would ruin my retirement. Damn it, I thought, I just want to sleep late for a few years.

Now the coronavirus is keeping me up at night. My neighbor told me it was going to get bad out there, disease-wise, and my retirement funds were at risk in the stock market. I didn’t comment on the virus but said our finances are conservatively invested. We don’t make as much as other people, but we don’t lose as much, either. That quieted things down.

While I’m trying not to overreact, it’s scary just the same. I’m careful – washing my hands and trying not to touch my face – but Dale isn’t as obsessive as I am, and I fear he’ll catch it and gift it to me.

He said I was probably glad older men are at higher risk, and I did not disagree. I guess I didn’t handle that well. Then I stepped it in again when Dale bought new hearing aids outright rather than pay a monthly fee because they wanted an automatic bank draft.

I pay several bills with automatic drafts and have never had a problem. I said not doing the draft officially makes him an old guy, and he did not take kindly to the feedback.

Cannabis journaling

My new seedling has emerged, and it looks great! It came up in four days. This time around I’m using the LED light for the entire growth cycle, I’m using a bigger pot – 5 gallons – and I should benefit from warmer weather overall.

I have this bound booklet that was a giveaway from some corporate event I attended before I retired. I was supposed to use it for taking notes.

Oops. I forgot.

Now it gives me great pleasure to re-purpose this fine motivational swag as my growing journal. The theme is “Elevating our Impact.”

Books & TV

I ran out of Outlander episodes on Netflix. Season 5 was just released, but it’s only available through STARZ. I signed up for a three-month trial so I could start watching Season 5. Then I discovered STARZ doesn’t drop them all at once like most streaming services. Subscribers get one episode a week.

Although I was annoyed at first, I’ve changed my mind. Binge-watching has its merits, but there’s something to be said for the feeling of anticipation as a new episode approaches. The slower pace seems to fit my retirement lifestyle. It turns out we don’t need everything instantly.  

Vera is a show on BritBox, and since I don’t subscribe to BritBox, I thought I’d read the first book in the series about Detective Inspector Vera Stanhope. “The Crow Trap” by Ann Cleeves. I like it so far, but I’m about one-third of the way through, and Vera has not appeared. I’m eager to meet her, and God knows, these characters need her help. Two dead already and no clues to be found.

I enjoyed “Burn the Place” by Iliana Regan. She is a Michelin-starred chef, and part of the story is about food and foraging, part of it is about substance abuse and the rest is a lesbian coming-out story. The memoir was long-listed for the National Book Award. I don’t think it came anything close to that level, but I enjoyed it very much.

Old guy humor

After my gaffe about Dale being old, I’m abandoning lame old guy humor, which might be good for all of us to think about, considering the slate of U.S. presidential candidates. Old is OK!

I’m also going to try standard compliments. While I thought calling Dale “The Human Dictionary” was a sexy and unique nod to his brilliance, perhaps simpler is better. Something that appeals to the vanity within all of us.

You look great! Have you been working out?

He’ll be suspicious, so I’ll have to tread carefully.   

Don’t mess with Aunt Bee

Fans are upset with plans to film “The Andy Griffith Show” movie in Indiana.

I said no to the woman who offered me a volunteer role in my golf league. My back seized up mid-round, I could barely finish and now I’m popping blue buddies (Advil) while I rest at home for a few days. And they say there are no coincidences. Anyway, here’s my response:

“Thanks so much for thinking of me. I’m sorry, but I’ll have to say no this time around. I do understand the needs of our group and will consider volunteering in the future.”

She said OK, thanks for thinking about it. And many thanks to Retirement Confidential readers for the thoughtful feedback! Your advice, coupled with new evidence of annoying behavior helped me decide.

In golf, every hole has a mowed area where you hit your first shot. The tee box. Markers define the edges, and you stand behind an imaginary line between the two markers facing the target.

Yesterday I played with one of the big wheels in the first group, and she religiously spread the markers on each hole as wide as possible. I asked why, and she said lefties complain the hole doesn’t line up for them properly unless the markers are spread wide. I said presumably there are left-handed men, and no one shuffles their markers around, and she said, “Women are picky.”  

I rest my case.

The Taste Test

For the finale to my first season as a gentlewoman cannabis farmer, I taste-tested my haul, and it’s very nice weed, indeed! This particular strain is called Jack Herer, known for relieving stress and producing a pleasant buzz. I’m always careful not to overdo it … just enough to feel the beginnings of a smile.

I put a seed in water today to germinate … this one is going in a 5-gallon pot with the aim of increasing my yield. Since I am still so new at this, I decided not to re-use the soil from my first grow. It’s probably just a matter of fertilizer, but I went with the expansion kit from A Pot for Pot.

Don’t mess with aunt bee

This morning’s newspaper had an article about a movie featuring Andy Taylor of Mayberry … being filmed in Indiana. Fans are furious they would film it anywhere but North Carolina.

Having lived in South Carolina, I am familiar with Andy Taylor, who was played by Andy Griffith in “The Andy Griffith Show.” The show was based in Mayberry, a fictional representation of Mount Airy, N.C., where the real Andy grew up.

The show is iconic in the South. The Carolinas, anyway. I remember watching re-runs in the chemo room at the hospital in South Carolina, where I was treated for ovarian cancer 21 years ago. Andy was always on, and it didn’t matter if you were black or white or had cancer or not, if you changed the channel you were dead.

Later, I complained about it to a co-worker. I said the worst of it was that sanctimonious Aunt Bee.

I can’t adequately describe the reaction. Shock quickly accelerating to outrage? Like how is that possible? What’s not to love about Aunt Bee?

It would not be completely accurate to say no one spoke to me again after that, but there was always an edge. Like, oh, yeah, you! What a great presentation smarty pants, but aren’t you the one who said you didn’t like Aunt Bee? It’s the kind of thing that follows you around.

My advice to the moviemakers. Suck it up.  Go to North Carolina. Say nice things about Aunt Bee.

New Crime fiction

In the category of crime fiction, I recommend the first two books in what I hope will be a long series by Louisa Luna. “Two Girls Down” is the first, and the second is “The Janes.” The character is Alice Vega, a tough and brilliant young freelance detective who finds missing children. She partners with a disgraced former cop named Cap.

Alice is different than your run-of-the-mill female detective. Stoic is the word that comes to mind. Totally focused on getting the job done and not much interested in normal pleasures like food and sleep, she uses bolt cutters to take bad guys down. Bolt cutters aside, the violence is relatively minimal.

8 classic American detectives

Plopping down to read in the middle of the afternoon is one of retirement’s greatest pleasures. And getting books from the library adds to the joy – no cost, no risk. Oh, the pain of spending money on a book you can’t get through.

While I read all kinds of stuff, my favorite genre is crime fiction. However, I’m picky about my crime. I avoid serial killers and creepy psychopaths in fiction and in real life. I avoid writers who almost always find a way to make women the victim. I’m looking at you, Harlan Coben.

Murder comes with the territory when you read mysteries, but I like to keep it simple … a crime of passion or greed. A stabbing, a shooting, perhaps an overdose. No torture. An ordinary person goes off the rails. A family tries to hide its secrets. I also like stories about missing persons, robbery and white-collar crime.

I prefer my crime to be over and done with before I start the book. I’m OK with some violence or threats of violence scattered throughout the novel to add tension, but the primary purpose of the story is to shape this defining character, usually a detective, who is going to solve the mystery.

Although I am a lightweight when it comes to grizzly details, I usually like my detectives a bit rough around the edges. Hardboiled and American, although I’m starting to branch out on that front.

Retirement is also a perfect time to discover or re-read oldies but goodies. Not every book in the series meets my ideal criteria, but I love these characters, and there’s a substantial catalog! Some newer, some older, but to me, they define the genre.

By the way, I’m still messing around with Goodreads. You should be able to access my shelf listing the first book in each series.

8 Classic American Detectives

Lew Archer (18 books): A southern California private investigator with a focus on complex family dramas, mostly written in the 50s and 60s. By Ross Macdonald.

Harry Bosch (22 books): A Vietnam veteran and Los Angeles police detective with an attitude and a conscience. By Michael Connelly.

Doc Ford (26 books): Ex-CIA agent and marine biologist on the west coast of Florida working hard to keep his friends out of trouble. By Randy Wayne White.

Sharon McCone (33 books): A San Francisco-based investigator and one of the first modern female private eyes. By Marcia Muller.

Travis McGee (21 books): A “salvage consultant” who recovers lost things while living on his houseboat in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. By John D. MacDonald.

Kinsey Millhone (25 books): The famous alphabet series starring a tough female private investigator in Santa Teresa, California. By Sue Grafton.

Dave Robicheaux (22 books): A troubled cop in Louisiana investigating bad guys along with his dangerous sidekick, Clete. By James Lee Burke.

V.I. Warshawski (20 books): A former lawyer and private eye in Chicago focusing on murder cases connected with white-collar crime. By Sara Paretsky.

Everyone has a story to tell

I grew up in an emotionally abusive, low-income family and never thought of myself as privileged. In fact, I joined the Army at age 18 to get away from that mess and jumpstart my life. It worked.

These days, my husband and I are not particularly frugal, but we aren’t particularly extravagant, either. It’s a sweet life, and we are indeed privileged. I enjoy writing about retirement and aging and the simple things that make us happy … nothing life-changing but sometimes funny and hopefully entertaining.

Privilege is relative, and I now understand even my rough start was like a rocket launcher compared to what some people are born into and how they live. I had parents, a home, clean clothes, safe places to play, food, good schools. Intellectually, I understand what it means to not have those things, but I have no real concept of what life is like outside the bubble.

I’m inspired to expand my thinking after reading an exceptional book about racial conflict in Los Angeles … Your House Will Pay by Steph Cha. The novel starts when a black teenager is killed by a Korean shop owner, and it cascades into the stories of their families – how they are impacted and how they intersect. My words won’t do it justice, so I’ll borrow from the jacket, with these words by Viet Thanh Nguyen:

“This suspense-filled page turner about murder, repentance, and forgiveness draws from the fraught history of Los Angeles, where America’s immigrant dream bleeds into America’s racist nightmare.” 

In the book, everyone is angry and social media is a feeding frenzy, but the families actually living through the tragedy are ordinary people doing the best they can. We see lots of devastating stories in the news, but this book reminded me you have to look beyond hashtags and viral tweets to find the humanity that brings us together and propels us forward.

Such a powerful read that left me wondering if it’s silly or insensitive to tell stories about my cushy retired life when other people are suffering. But the truth is I’m in no position to write about what it’s like to grow up black and poor or a victim of violent crime any more than I’m going to write about what it’s like to grow up rich. Those are not my experiences.

What can a retirement blogger possibly add to the conversation when there are such eloquent voices to be heard?

Then I thought about how grateful I am for this little online community – readers and writers alike. I don’t think we have to change the world one blog post at a time or one comment at a time, but I believe there’s value in listening and sharing so in some small way, we understand each other better or something positive happens, even if it’s just a new recipe, a travel tip or a funny tale about life in the slow lane.

Everyone is shaped by their unique experiences, and everyone has a story to tell. For whatever it’s worth, this is mine.

Holiday reading

Geez, these holidays are infringing on my retirement. I try to get my stuff done when people are supposed to be working. Just when I thought it was safe to go out again after the Christmas crowds, here they are again, with a day off, milling about and closing important places like the library.

I finished my two books. The first was Lady in the Lake by Laura Lippman. A youngish woman leaves her marriage of 20 years and stumbles onto a murder scene. She becomes rather obsessed with the murder and worms her way into a job as a newspaper reporter covering crime and pretty much focused on solving the crime.

It was a good story, but a couple of things bothered me. The protagonist, Maddie, was not particularly likable, although she had a kinky side I found engaging. In addition, every character is featured in a separate chapter, telling the story as they see it. Kind of a weird format for me, but overall, I liked the book, which also deals with racial conflict in 1960s Baltimore.

The other novel I finished was The Keeper of Lost Causes, the first in the Department Q series by Jussi Adler-Olsen. The detective is Carl Mørck. The setting is Denmark. I had previously tried reading a Norwegian crime novel but got stuck on the names. As Steve Martin said, it’s like they have a different word for everything!

For some reason, maybe it’s just a better translation, but I hardly noticed a difference between this book and any of the other crime novels I read. Carl is a contrarian, much like Harry Bosch, and also like Harry, Carl is assigned to investigate cold cases.

He reluctantly investigates the disappearance and presumed murder of a female politician and ends up dealing with some very creepy people. The book was kind of dark, but Carl is a great character. Despite his flaws, you can’t help but like him.

Carl has a sidekick named Assad, who is supposedly a refugee from Syria. But there’s more to Assad than meets the eye, and I am ever hopeful his character will reappear in the next book. I think there are seven in all.

I need new books, but the library was closed for a three-day weekend. I’m sure they don’t make much money working there, but the hours are good. Still, I love the library!

When they reopen, I’m planning to get the next Department Q book, The Absent One. Another one on my list is Two Girls Down by Louisa Luna. This is the first of two novels featuring Alice Vega, a bounty hunter who partners with a disgraced former cop to find missing people. Sounds right up my alley. I’m betting there’s whiskey involved!

Fortunately, I’m on my 30-day free trial of Netflix, so I have Outlander and the new season of Grace and Frankie. Plus all the other excellent recommendations you shared in a previous post. I even made a spreadsheet!

My sister watched the whole season of Grace and Frankie the first day it came out. I don’t usually binge, but the library is closed, it’s cold outside and I have a stack of clean jammies. Who knows what will happen? Is this the seedy underbelly of retirement lifestyle?

By the way, I tried to add a Goodreads “What I’m Reading” sidebar to the blog but ran into technical issues. I’m resting up before trying again.

Criminally good entertainment

I’m always on the look-out for new crime fiction – books, movies or TV – and thought I’d share a couple of good novels, as well as a TV series with lots of potential.

Although he has been writing for years, I just discovered Michael Koryta. How did I find him? I’m a big fan of Harry Bosch, the character created by Michael Connelly. A lot of writers have blogs, and Connelly’s included a list of current reading. He had high praise for Koryta, so I gave it a whirl.

I just read Koryta’s most recent novel, If She Wakes. It’s about a college student injured in an accident. They think she’s in a vegetative state, but she’s actually got it all going on inside. However, she can’t speak or move. Bad guys are worried she will wake for real and talk about what happened during that accident. There’s a great female detective with some bad-ass driving skills trying to put it all together.

Loved it! Now I’m going through his catalog.

Another writer I enjoy is Attica Locke. I just finished Heaven, My Home. This is the second novel featuring Darren Mathews, a black Texas Ranger. Bluebird, Bluebird was the first in the series, and it won the 2018 Edgar award for best novel. The writer confronts racism head-on, and sometimes it’s hard to read, but she’s a great story teller, and Darren is a complex and flawed man – which always sucks me in.

About TV. I’ve set my DVD to record USA Network’s new series, Dare Me. It starts tonight, so you’d better get cracking if you want to see it from the beginning. I have no idea if it will be any good, but the series is based on a book by Megan Abbott, who I’ve been reading for years. Among my favorites are Die a Little and Bury Me Deep. But Dare Me is by far the best.

Dare Me is about cheerleaders. Snarky ones. Oh, and a murder, along with a suspicious cheerleading coach who is seemingly perfect, but alas, things are not as they seem.

If someone had told me I’d enjoy a book about cheerleaders, I would have said they were nuts. But this is great stuff. I’m hopeful the TV series will capture the dark weirdness of Megan Abbott’s writing.

Next on the docket is Bearskin by James A. McLaughlin. I found this one listed among the best debut novels of 2018 on CrimeReads. I haven’t started it yet, but it’s set in the mountains of Virginia, where a dude with a secret past goes to hide from bad guys. However, he runs into poachers, and everything changes.

As you know, I’m not much on planning, but since I retired, I started keeping a spreadsheet of books I want to read, and then I reserve them at the library. A series will always bring out my OCD tendencies, so I list them in order on my spreadsheet and go about it methodically.

Sickbed reading

My cravings for oysters on the half shell are over. I apparently picked up a food-borne illness during our trip to Tomales Bay. Dale had a touch of it, too, but I’ve lost five pounds in three days. I’m glad the last ones I will ever eat tasted good at the time.

Oysters have always been risky. We stopped eating warm water oysters on the half shell many years ago. After reading up on oysters and the vibrio infection resulting in part from warmer waters, I see no reason to eat them raw anymore. As most of us except maybe Trump might know, the ocean isn’t getting any colder. And I’m not getting any younger, so it’s time to limit the risk.

Good news? I’ve had some quality reading time. I was trying to characterize what I like to read, and it’s hard. I enjoy many different genres but lean toward crime fiction. While I don’t like it cozy and prefer dark and noir, I avoid excessive violence. Let’s just get that murder over and done with so we can find out who did it. My favorites feature a private detective with rough edges and a complicated personal life. Probably surrounded by lowlifes, grifters and cons.  

I am trying to broaden my horizons, so I downloaded the Mystery Writers of America Top 100 Mystery Novels of all Time. Although I’ve read many of the books on the list, it was a long time ago, and I thought I might start going through them again, one by one. I began with The Maltese Falcon, which I still had at home in paperback. While I liked it a lot, I’ve become accustomed to contemporary fiction, so it took some getting used to. Last night, I started The Big Sleep by Raymond Chandler.

Although the other books by my bedside are not on the list, they are older and easy to get from the library. I tried to read the first book in the border trilogy by Don Winslow, and I just couldn’t take it. Maybe another time when the world seems less grim. I read his other books classified as surf noir, and I enjoyed them very much.

Still grim but not too terribly violent were The Ice Harvest by Scott Phillips and Winter’s Bone by Daniel Woodrell. I liked both, especially Winter’s Bone, which features a great protagonist … a 16-year-old girl named Ree, in search of her meth-making father, who has skipped bail and left the family home as bond. The book is sometimes classified as rural noir.

I’ve never read the Jack Reacher series by Lee Child, but one of my golf buddies swears by them. I mean, she swears a lot anyway but really likes these books. I have a hold on it at the library and was waiting until I could leave my bathroom for a few minutes to go and get it. Today is feeling bright!

Also on my hold list is The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood, which I read many years ago. I want to read it again before I read the new sequel – The Testaments, which I also have on reserve. And I’m 7th in line for The Night Fire, a new Harry Bosch by Michael Connelly.

I’m feeling pretty good today. Tomorrow I have an introductory appointment with the personal trainer at my new fitness center, so I’m excited about that. And Friday – I have a 90-minute massage!! I haven’t had a massage in years and can’t wait.

Binge reading

Binge reading is a fine way to enjoy your retirement. I’m antsy and have a hard time relaxing enough to just slump down and read for hours, but once I do, it’s bliss.

I have two library cards from two different systems and get most of my books from the library. If one doesn’t have it, the other one might. Sometimes I pluck from the shelves at home, although we drastically reduced our book inventory when we moved to our retirement home.

The local library branch is a short walk from our house. I slap on a backpack and feel like a kid again, off to wander the stacks and dream big. We were avid readers and joined every summer reading club that ever was. How did I miss A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle?

The book was published in 1962. I was seven. Probably too young then, but it seems like it would have turned up on a reading list at some point. Yet, I never heard of it. I found the book on a display at the library that includes employee favorites. It’s a young adult novel about children who travel through space and time to save their father … and the world. I loved it.

Next on the binge list was Commander in Cheat: How Golf Explains Trump by Rick Reilly. Although I’ve resisted all previous Trump books, golf is the siren call, the crack cocaine of temptation for me. Rick Reilly is a very funny golf writer.

The book was entertaining, but I couldn’t read it at night. Left me in a bad mood right before bed. It’s kind of like watching a train wreck, and you can’t look away. In full disclosure, I loathe Trump, and this book further documents what a truly vile person he is.

Cheating at golf is one thing, and lying about how many club championships he has won is another, but I was particularly horrified by the stories of cheating the workers who build his golf courses. Bullying contractors to accept less than 50 percent of what they were owed because Trump was tired of spending money.

Dang depressing. I am done reading about the man and hope I can get him out of my consciousness by 2020.

The last book I binged on was Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens. It seems like half the world has read it, so I’m not telling you anything new, but what an absolutely wonderful book! The novel is part coming-of-age and part murder mystery about a girl, Kya, who is forced to raise herself in the marsh.

Kya is accused of murdering her former lover, and the story flips back and forth between the murder and growing up so lonely and under such tragic conditions yet becoming an expert on the marsh habitat.

I plopped on the comfy reading couch and didn’t budge until I finished the book and wiped the last tear from my eye. By the way, the writer is a scientist who has written non-fiction books, but this is her first novel – at age 70!

The next book I’m tackling is from the family stacks. Although I adore the Lord of the Rings trilogy by J.R.R. Tolkien, my fandom is based on the movies. I’ve never read the books. Dale had a boxed paperback set, so I’ve started The Fellowship of the Ring. It’s a slow start.

What’s the best thing you’ve read lately?

The frugal reader

I’ve been down with another nasty bout of vertigo, but since I was already horizontal, I finished a book that was close to overdue, and it reminded me how much I love the library.

Although my parents were not well-educated, they strongly encouraged us to read – anything and everything. Dad was a big reader, and he kept a little shelf of salacious material in the bathroom, where he spent much of his time. But that’s another story.

My sister and I were always in the summer book clubs and walked to the library on warm summer days. Sometimes we cheated and took a shortcut over the railroad tracks. I’m sorry, Mom.

Dad once told us we were related to the Raja of Tahumbaktu. We spent hours researching and even got the librarian to help. We came up with nothing. I believe we used a pay phone to call him and ask how to spell Tahumbaktu, and all I can remember is the sound of him laughing his ass off. He made it up as a way to get us out of the house.

In high school, I won awards for my speech on legalizing prostitution, and my mother had to come with me to the library so I could access books needed for my research. She was happy to do it, although she was not much of a reader, other than true crime magazines. We were never allowed to go to Tom Sawyer’s Island at Disneyland, because according to Mom, a girl got raped there.

In retirement, I’ve become more frugal, and the library is a great way to save money and avoid the stockpiling of books. It’s an easy walk to my local branch! I take a small backpack for my books, and I feel sort of like Tom Sawyer embarking on an adventure. Or maybe Becky Thatcher? Although I read the books, I’ve imagined a lot of it, because sadly, I couldn’t get to the island.

We live in El Dorado County, so I immediately signed up for a library card at the branch down the street. Later, I discovered Sacramento County has a bigger system and Folsom, the next town over, has a separate system completely. By signing up for a Folsom library card, I now have access to everything in my county of residence, as well as Folsom and most everything in Sacramento County.

Although I sometimes show up and get lucky, I usually do my browsing online. I keep several tabs open. One for Amazon and one for each library. I’ve also bookmarked a couple of sites that review books in my favorite genre, and that’s a great way to find lesser known writers. For ideas, I like Left Coast Crime and Edgar award winners. Usually I go to Amazon for the full write-up.

When I find something I’m interested in reading, I place a hold on it through one of my online library accounts. If one library doesn’t have it, the other one usually does. I’m currently #23 for the new Michael Connelly mystery featuring my all-time favorite detective, Harry Bosch.

I’ll read just about anything, including cereal boxes, but I favor hard-boiled mysteries and historical fiction about the Old West. Some of the authors I like are not widely read, so I will often have to jostle back and forth between the libraries to find it in the system. Occasionally I will break down a buy a book, usually for my Kindle, and usually for travel. Sometimes a hard copy cookbook.

Finally, I keep a little journal with books I want to read. Mine is messy and includes other lists, because I am a demonic list maker. If it’s a series, I list all the books of the series in order and try to read them in order. Not because I am crazy but because I like to see how the characters evolve over time.

Any other good frugal reading tips out there?