Preparing to snip off the ends of my hair using the patented pigtail technique.
I started to get in a funk this week. The pandemic. Trump. Just the weight of it all taking a toll, and I say that as someone who has it pretty damn easy. Do you suppose there’s a sleeping pill I can take tonight and wake up Jan. 20?
My remedy was to make another donation to the food bank and just get on with life. The whole simple pleasures thing. One good laugh, and I’m OK. Thankfully, Dale delivered.
He came back from a run and said there was a pizza box by someone’s trash with leftover pizza hanging out the side. He said it was kind of gross smashed up on the street and missing a couple of bites, but then he added, “You know, it still looked good.”
I don’t know. I find it highly amusing to think pizza still looks good even when it’s essentially road kill. Fortunately, I have a personal pizza chef. Tonight’s is what we call Punishment Pizza. Shrimp, goat cheese, Kalamata olives, basil and habanero peppers.
Other highlights from the week:
Finished watching River on Amazon Prime. Wow. Part moody cop drama and part otherworldly romance. Oh, and there’s an old disco song you will never get out of your brain. I’ve re-watched the last episode several times just for the dance scene with Stellan Skarsgård and Nicola Walker.
Validated my hypothesis that pumpkin cheesecake is good for breakfast. And then I tested it again just to be sure.
Splurged on another pair of “yoga” pants. At 65, I need some structure. My favorites are the Headlands Hybrid Cargo Tight from Athleta. At $108, they are not cheap, but these pants are durable, comfortable, versatile and flattering.
For a brief moment, I missed the feeling of being good at my job. Then I remembered the executive who had a temper tantrum when the company began to promote work-life balance. He said work was life and didn’t require balance. I realized I’m actually pretty good at retirement.
Decided to hoard my woodburning art creations as some sort of primitive documentation that I was here. Like etchings from the pandemic cave.
Cut my hair using the patented pigtail technique. I don’t think I’m losing abnormal amounts of hair, but I cleaned the bathroom today, and it’s like King Kong shaved in there. I have entertained the idea of buzzing it all off.
Our county was among most in California that got bumped back down to the strictest tier of COVID restrictions. I go four places – the golf course, the grocery store, the library and the outdoor swimming pool at my health club.
I believe the library will have to close, but I can still get curb-side pick-up and digital books. The health club can no longer have indoor activities, and I would be surprised if they keep the pool open. Perhaps no swimming for me.
All in all – no big deal. We are prepared to ride this out. As social misfits, it seems like we were born to hunker down. Even before the pandemic, I’d freak if the doorbell rang. Who could that be? What do they want?
The governor is also thinking about a curfew. As in maybe shutting everything down by 10 p.m. OK by me. I forgot people stayed out that late. And I’ve long maintained nothing good happens after midnight.
Just so you know, I am an equal opportunity critic. Governor Newsom went to a dinner party at the famous Napa restaurant, The French Laundry. Aside from the ridiculous cost when people in the state he represents are suffering and dying, and normal restaurants can’t survive, people from several different households attended the dinner. It was outdoors, so he thought it was OK.
Seriously. He should know better. I like the guy and overall, I think he’s doing a good job, but that was just plain dumb. To his credit, he apologized, which is something his critics in Washington can’t seem to manage. I can forgive someone who makes a mistake and admits it.
I think a lot about why people can’t band together and do what it takes to control the spread of this virus. I’ve concluded some people are just stupid or arrogant, and others lack the discipline to stay the course.
Remember the marshmallow test? Social science researchers put a marshmallow in front of a child and said she could have a second one – but only if she can last 15 minutes without eating the first one. The kids who can hold out for double the payout presumably have the willpower to do well in school, work and life.
Somewhere along the line, it seems we ended up with a boatload of people who can’t wait for the second marshmallow. And here we are.
Comfort Food
That’s why God invented comfort food. I’ve been making a list of our favorite decadent dishes we hope to make over the next several months. Of course, we don’t eat like this every night.
Stuffed Cabbage – cabbage rolls stuffed with ground meat (we use bison) and rice and simmered for hours in a hearty tomato sauce. Served with dark rye bread and European butter.
Transylvanian Layered Cabbage – a casserole with layers of sauerkraut, rice, sour cream and a mixture of ground pork, diced bacon and thin-sliced smoked sausage that has been well-browned. Served with dark rye bread and European butter.
Venison Meatloaf – a retro meatloaf made in a ring mold. Seasoned with onion soup mix, topped with a tangy ketchup-brown sugar sauce and smothered with melted jack cheese. Accompanied by wide egg noodles in a thick poppy seed-sour cream sauce.
Roast Duck – duckling roasted crisp in the oven with a slightly sweet orange sauce. Maybe some wild rice and a veggie to go with, but it’s all about the duck.
Beef Stroganoff – thin slices of beef tenderloin browned with sautéed mushrooms in a sour cream-shallot sauce. Served over wide egg noodles.
Porchetta Tarts – individual free-form tarts in a pastry crust filled with a pork-pancetta mixture, seasoned with fennel and sage and served with sage-butter sauce.
non-edible entertainment
As for entertainment you can’t eat, I’m back on the Department Q series by Jussi Adler-Olsen. For some reason, I had a hard time getting started with The Marco Effect, which is fifth in the series. I’ve checked it out three times and never read it, finally going back one more time. And it turned out to be my favorite so far. I think it was election stress that kept me from focusing.
All of the sudden I’m a fan of British crime shows. I started with Unforgotten, free on Amazon Prime. I absolutely adore Nicola Walker as DCI Cassie Stuart leading the department that investigates cold cases. The show is less about violence and more about how crime affects people’s lives.
I’m just starting River, which is on Netflix and also features Nicola Walker. Amazon has a bunch more British crime shows, but most of them are not on Prime. BritBox would be another option, but I don’t want another subscription at this time. We’ll see how long that lasts!
There’s a bit of vaccine-related unpleasantness going around. Trump, who is not a doctor but plays one on TV, is at odds with medical experts about the COVID vaccine. When will it be ready, who will get it and will it work? Is a mask just as effective? Should we just stay home and wait to die?
I’ve had my own encounter with vaccine-related unpleasantness, but it’s just a coincidence. Usually I get fever and chills the night after my annual flu shot. When whoever was administering the shot asked if I had ever had an adverse reaction, I would say yes and explain. A few years ago, a nurse said that’s not an adverse reaction or a side effect.
The nurse failed to pony up a name for it, but she suggested I premedicate with Tylenol 48 hours prior, and since then, I have not had what we’ll call vaccine-related unpleasantness.
Until this week. One thing I learned through my flu shot ordeal is to keep my mouth shut. Never complain, never explain. This year, I premedicated as usual, but seeing as how I am now 65, I got the jumbotron dose.
I guess because of all the vitamin T percolating through my system, the fever and chills took longer to kick in, and it wasn’t as bad. Just a few hours of unpleasantness.
Still, kind of a drag for something that supposedly doesn’t exist. Gee, that sounds like COVID. Again, just a coincidence.
People who MENSTRUATE
I started Troubled Blood, the new Cormoran Strike novel by J.K. Rowling writing under the pseudonym Robert Galbraith. This is the fifth, and I’ve read them in order, as any good anally retentive reader would do.
While I like it a lot so far, I am wondering about the title, considering the current media buzz regarding the author, and well, blood.
It would seem Rowling is in a bit of a row with the trans community. She doesn’t believe you get to decide whether you are male or female. Something about the definition of a woman being “people who menstruate.” Seriously, this is not a fight worth picking.
As for me, I believe menstruation sucks and am glad to be done with it. Periods and disabling cramps brought me no joy. I never pulled out a bloody tampon and blissfully sighed, “Thank God, I’m a woman.”
I certainly don’t want monthly bleeding to be my legacy.
Here lies Donna, a proud woman who bled like a pig.
more reading and watching
The Michael Cohen book about Trump was OK. More of the same unscrupulous crap we already knew. And, oh, by the way, unscrupulous crap Mr. Cohen was happy to be part of for 10 years … until he got caught. I’m done with these assholes, and I don’t want to read about them anymore.
On the TV front, I watched Unbelievable, which Netflix calls a mini-series. Based on a true story about a young girl who was raped but is convinced by the police she wasn’t, the series focuses on two women cops who put the pieces together and figure out who did it. I read this morning it was nominated for an Emmy Award. I loved it.
Also on the Emmy list is Schitt’s Creek, which got glowing reviews. I mean, glowing isn’t strong enough to describe how much reviewers love this show. I’ve watched a couple of episodes and didn’t get into it. I might give it another go.
Art
The image above is my latest piece of woodburning art. I find great pleasure and a certain sense of peace in transforming trash wood into something unique.
I was preparing for locusts when the fires came. The fires are a good distance from us. We are safe, but the air quality is terrible. We weren’t going anywhere anyway. Now we’re hermetically sealed. I haven’t been outside in days.
Key words: We are safe.
Nothing to complain about. Many indoor amusements.
Art (or something like it)
I’m still having fun with my woodburning art. If nothing else, it’s a wonderful distraction while spending days on end at home. I didn’t want to clutter up the house with my masterpieces, so my completed projects are hanging in the garage until I decide what to do with them.
I asked a friend to look at my online gallery and pick out one for herself. She chose my favorite one so far! I used oil-based pencils for the deep, bold colors and standard colored pencils for areas with subtle shading. I love the range of reds and yellows, which she said will complement her living room furniture.
Pallet scrap burned and embellished with a combination of oil-based pencils and standard colored pencils.
I’m experimenting with a new technique on my current piece. I’ve used an acrylic paint glaze to color the larger areas, and now I’m adding a background design with burned-in dots. The glaze is sort of rustic looking, and I even sanded a little bit over it to roughen it up more. The glazing process is time-consuming, but I seem to have plenty of time on my hands.
Work in progress — the blots are colored with an acrylic glaze, and I’m adding a dotted pattern in the background.
Books & TV
On the entertainment front, I’ve been watching Anne with an E on Netflix. There are only three seasons, and I will be sad when it ends. Total escapism. The series is based on the Anne of Green Gables books, which I never read as a child. Sometimes childhood classics don’t hold up when you read them as an adult, but I still might give the series a try.
I’ve also found some books only seem to be written for children or young adults. I read all the Tarzan books in my 20s and loved them. Just so you know, Jane was badass! Other children’s books I’ve read as an adult include the Harry Potter novels, A Wrinkle in Time and The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane. I also love the Stuart Little and Paddington Bear movies.
There’s something simple and healing about stories for young audiences. I might just make a regular thing of it. Do you have any favorite children’s books or movies you’ve enjoyed as an adult?
Food
As a foodie, I highly recommend the Food Network series, Amy Schumer Learns to Cook. She and her chef husband are quite the opposites and hilarious together. He likes to cook with fennel, and her reactions are priceless.
We went on another Mexican kick this week. Sometimes we just can’t stop ourselves. Dale made carnitas one night, I made chicken tacos another. Oh, and a dish I jokingly call huevos dineros. It’s my twisted version of huevos rancheros amped up for dinner. A crisp corn tortilla topped with homemade chili sauce, Cheddar cheese and a runny fried egg, accompanied by shredded iceberg lettuce, tomatoes, sliced avocados and a dollop of sour cream.
Today I’m making an overnight no-knead dough that will magically produce baguettes tomorrow. We’ll have those with a ripe Brie, Italian cold cuts and maybe some smoked salmon. Greens on the side. My sister sent us a beautiful assortment of balsamic vinegar, which will certainly have an important role in this meal.
Today’s dinner is unknown at this point, but we swore an oath it will be vegetable-centric to make up for the excesses we enjoyed earlier in the week.
A coyote snoozing by the backyard spa. Our coyote friend on the move after he heard me open the door.
Suburban coyote
As I was cleaning up cat barf this morning, I happened to look out the back window, only to see a coyote snoozing by the spa. I can’t believe my furry little puker missed that one, as he sat staring out the front window, desperately seeking squirrel activity.
I took a picture through the window and watched him awhile. I figured he would just move along at some point, but Dale said sometimes they can’t get out. I gingerly propped the gate open and came back in the house.
Then the coyote moved to a shady spot by the pool. I opened the sliding glass door and snapped a shot of him trotting away. He jumped to the top of the fence and looked like he decided next door was a better option. I was like, dude, they don’t cook … the food is better over here, but he wasn’t buying it. I put on a mask and went over to alert our neighbors, because they have a dog and a cat that both go outside.
Coyotes do live around here. You can hear them at night. Still, I hope he’s OK. He might have heard the pool is open for the season – registering yesterday at 81 degrees! Of course, I’m being sexist here. It could be a she, but I’m thinking it’s a boy coyote that would run away from home and camp out in someone’s yard.
Swimming
I’ve started swimming in our backyard pool. It’s not a huge pool, so swimming laps is not ideal, lots of head-bashing, but it’s the only option I have right now, coyotes and all. I need to decide if I’m going to keep my membership in the health club. I would definitely not use the weights or the locker room. I’ve been doing free weights at home.
I would like to use the pool at the health club and have a plan for how to do it safely if or when it reopens, but if I swim twice a week, that’s about $10 a swim. Not sure it’s worth it. Although, my back did feel better after just one swim. Decisions!
Cookie Madness
I’ve decided to allow myself one peanut butter cookie a day until I no longer want one … which might never happen, so perhaps I will be eating one every single day for the rest of my life. I can’t believe one cookie could be all that bad for me. And they are so easy to make.
The recipe yields about a dozen and a half – depending on what size scoop you use, and the only ingredients are peanut butter, brown sugar and an egg. A smattering of sea salt. I prefer them without chocolate chips. What can I say? They bring me joy.
Books & TV
Today is a library curbside pick-up for Dead Land, the new Sara Paretsky novel featuring V.I. Warshawski. This is book 20. I think I’ve read them all.
I’m done with the current season of Bosch, and I finished the Longmire series. Both were excellent, although I did not like how Longmire wrapped up. I won’t spoil it for you, but it just didn’t feel right to me. I do think he’s a cutie and hope to see him in something else soon.
While I’ve yet to pick a new crime series, I have a long list of options. None are calling to me. I’m currently watching Vida on STARZ. It’s about two Mexican sisters who return home to Los Angeles after their mother passes away.
The mother ran a bar, and it turns out she was a closet lesbian – at least closeted to her daughters. The daughters start to run the bar and become immersed in the local scene. Warning – strong sexual content and not necessarily your routine stuff.
The last argument
Although we are still being cautious, we went to Home Depot for two things needed for a small improvement project. While it was not a good experience for us, it did result it what we are calling, “The Last Argument.” I wanted to order online and have it delivered to the car. Dale wanted to go in and buy weed killer. I conceded.
We put on our masks. There was a line, and they were counting people as they entered. Still, there were a lot of people entering, and most of them were not wearing masks. Dale got annoyed and didn’t want to buy weed killer after all. We got the two things we went for and got out of there as fast as we could.
Later, Dale said he was angry that I insisted we go to Home Depot to buy things for an optional improvement project. I said, if you will recall, I wanted to have it delivered to the car. The only reason we went inside is because you wanted to.
He was like, oops, I forgot. Sigh. We’re just humans doing the best we can. Kiss and make up. We agreed – talk everything through in advance, make sure we understand each other’s expectations and don’t fight about anything ever. It sucks.
Stress behavior
People are stressed, and stress behavior can be ugly. I played golf, and one of the women in my group was a complete bitch. She didn’t mess with me, but she was so rude to one of the other players. I don’t know where that came from, other than she’s just pissed about life in general.
I almost didn’t play but had a golf dream telling me to relax and let my swing flow smoothly. I wish I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard something about a smooth swing, but I finally figured out why it doesn’t stick.
Sometimes you do herky-jerky things, and you get away with it. Smash a drive or whatever. You begin to think that’s the secret, so you start trying it on purpose. Nothing good comes of this. Smooth is always the answer. I said to myself, just go, be at peace with the universe, stay calm and be smooth. Do not introduce extra movements to the momentum of the swing.
It worked! I played well … much better than I’ve been playing, even with my exposure to the bitter bitch. I hope she chills out. I feel stress and constantly have to work at managing these challenges in a positive way, but I’m mostly successful and certainly happier.
It’s hot, and if there are no coyotes in backyard, I will be taking a dip today.
For germ-free entertainment, I previously recommended the Department Q series by Jussi Adler-Olsen. Featuring Danish police inspector Carl Mørck, the novels are excellent, but they can be dark. There are some exceptionally creepy people at the heart of the stories, so I stopped reading them.
I’m finding during this pandemic that dark is relative. It turns out reading about imaginary creepy people doing bad things is less disturbing than lying awake at night ruminating on our current reality. I jumped back in the pool, and I’m enjoying the books very much.
The cold case investigations are detailed and suspenseful, which makes for great reading, but I especially love the character development. Carl is an interesting guy, but he is no less interesting than his current sidekicks, Assad and Rose. I peeked, and there’s another colleague arriving in a future book. They all have a back story, and I love the interaction among them.
I downloaded the first Walt Longmire novel from the library, and it was great, but the rest were not available in digital format. While I wait for the library to re-open, I started watching the Longmire series on Netflix. There are six seasons, and I’m in the middle of Season 2.
While Walt seems the classic Wyoming sheriff, he’s a complex character … as is his deputy sheriff Vic Moretti. As a woman checking out another woman, I would say she’s tough and hot in the same breath. The stories have a strong connection to the Native American community, and that makes them all the more interesting.
The new season of Bosch has arrived on Amazon Prime! My first inclination is to binge-watch the whole thing, but I’m learning to appreciate the slow reveal. I’m watching Season 5 of Outlander on STARZ, and new episodes are delivered weekly – and then sometimes they skip a week! What? But I like the anticipation, and I certainly have plenty of time these days. I will probably alternate between Bosch and Longmire.
I read a million good reviews of The Princess Bride, both the book and the movie. I can’t speak for the movie, but I did not get far with the book. I rarely say this, but I absolutely hated it. I hated the style of writing, the forced humor that wasn’t actually funny … even Buttercup. I found her completely unlikeable.
The good news? I downloaded it from the library!! I love not paying for a book I hated. To celebrate, I snagged a free Kindle book on Amazon. Dirty Little Secrets by Liliana Hart. It’s the first in a series featuring J.J. Graves, a small-town funeral director and coroner. I haven’t started it yet, but it sounds promising.
In my current role as director of supply chain management, I’m using a mix of Amazon and local grocery stores, depending on what we need. Although it’s working pretty well, we are talking about doing another in-store trip. I suspect the wackos are going to come out after May 1, you know, thinking this whole thing is over, so I’d like us to get there before the crush.
I got an email from Raley’s, a local chain, and they seem to have an aggressive approach to managing risk:
Shields at registers
Hand washing stations
Cart and hand sanitizers
Sanitation Marshals in each store
Social distancing signage and overhead messaging
Metered customer count
I like all that. I’ve become a wee bit obsessive about germs. As usual, Dale has adopted a more relaxed approach and does not appreciate my interventions friendly advice. I’m like the police, following him around to make sure he washes his hands a hundred times a day like the rest of us.
He suggested I apply for a job as Sanitation Marshal. Probably just to get rid of me, although he did make me a badge …
In this special Hunker Down edition, I invite you to explore some unique reading that has nothing to do with the current pandemic … historical fiction about women who disguised themselves as men!
Although my recreational reading leans toward crime fiction, I enjoy a wide variety of genres, including historical fiction. My favorites are stories about women in the Old West. If that’s a genre, then there’s something close to a sub-genre, and that includes stories about women from roughly that time period who disguised themselves as men.
To feed my interest in this incredibly addictive sub-genre, I downloaded a book from the library, Re-dressing America’s Frontier Past by Peter Boag.
He calls it cross-dressing, although that implies there’s one approved dress code for men and one approved dress code for women. In these days of non-binary identification, the author concedes some might argue with the term cross-dressing.
I’m by no means an expert in gender studies, but my reading
indicates some women identified as women but dressed as men to pursue work,
adventure, crime and all sorts of activities where traditional women might have
difficulty gaining a foothold. Others would be what we now call transgender, in
that they didn’t feel like women and lived their lives as men, often marrying
women.
Then there were those who maybe don’t have a category or might be called gender fluid. They hated women’s clothes and the expectations that came with being a woman, but their sexual orientation was ambiguous … sometimes as seen from the outside world but sometimes even to themselves.
I like them all. Here are some of my favorites, which make
for great escapist reading.
A young Chilean woman decides to follow her lover, who left the country to seek his fortune during the California Gold Rush. A Chinese doctor she befriends on the ship dresses her as a Chinese boy to help her navigate the dangerous world of San Francisco in the 1840s.
A fictionalized account of the true story behind Charley
Parkhurst, a renowned Gold Rush-era stagecoach driver who was discovered to be
a woman only after he died. For you Californians out there, Charley is buried
in Watsonville.
Samantha, a Chinese girl in 1849 Missouri, commits a crime in self-defense and heads out on the Oregon Trail with a runaway slave. Both dressed as boys, they encounter friendly cowboys. Sammy falls in love.
Hiding from her past, Alex disguises herself as a young man and stumbles across a crude California mining town called Motherlode, where she finds her way among the locals but fears being discovered.
Re-purposing corporate swag as a cannabis journal. Because who can stop me now?
My, my, my corona
I worry about all things big and small. When I first
retired, I feared the showdown with North Korea would ruin my retirement. Damn
it, I thought, I just want to sleep late for a few years.
Now the coronavirus is keeping me up at night. My neighbor told me it was going to get bad out there, disease-wise, and my retirement funds were at risk in the stock market. I didn’t comment on the virus but said our finances are conservatively invested. We don’t make as much as other people, but we don’t lose as much, either. That quieted things down.
While I’m trying not to overreact, it’s scary just the same. I’m careful – washing my hands and trying not to touch my face – but Dale isn’t as obsessive as I am, and I fear he’ll catch it and gift it to me.
He said I was probably glad older men are at higher risk, and I did not disagree. I guess I didn’t handle that well. Then I stepped it in again when Dale bought new hearing aids outright rather than pay a monthly fee because they wanted an automatic bank draft.
I pay several bills with automatic drafts and have never had a problem. I said not doing the draft officially makes him an old guy, and he did not take kindly to the feedback.
Cannabis journaling
My new seedling has emerged, and it looks great! It came up
in four days. This time around I’m using the LED light for the entire growth
cycle, I’m using a bigger pot – 5 gallons – and I should benefit from warmer
weather overall.
I have this bound booklet that was a giveaway from some
corporate event I attended before I retired. I was supposed to use it for
taking notes.
Oops. I forgot.
Now it gives me great pleasure to re-purpose this fine motivational swag as my growing journal. The theme is “Elevating our Impact.”
Books & TV
I ran out of Outlander episodes on Netflix. Season 5 was just released, but it’s only available through STARZ. I signed up for a three-month trial so I could start watching Season 5. Then I discovered STARZ doesn’t drop them all at once like most streaming services. Subscribers get one episode a week.
Although I was annoyed at first, I’ve changed my mind. Binge-watching
has its merits, but there’s something to be said for the feeling of
anticipation as a new episode approaches. The slower pace seems to fit my retirement
lifestyle. It turns out we don’t need everything instantly.
Vera is a show on BritBox, and since I don’t subscribe to BritBox, I thought I’d read the first book in the series about Detective Inspector Vera Stanhope. “The Crow Trap” by Ann Cleeves. I like it so far, but I’m about one-third of the way through, and Vera has not appeared. I’m eager to meet her, and God knows, these characters need her help. Two dead already and no clues to be found.
I enjoyed “Burn the Place” by Iliana Regan. She is a Michelin-starred chef, and part of the story is about food and foraging, part of it is about substance abuse and the rest is a lesbian coming-out story. The memoir was long-listed for the National Book Award. I don’t think it came anything close to that level, but I enjoyed it very much.
Old guy humor
After my gaffe about Dale being old, I’m abandoning lame old guy humor, which might be good for all of us to think about, considering the slate of U.S. presidential candidates. Old is OK!
I’m also going to try standard compliments. While I thought calling Dale “The Human Dictionary” was a sexy and unique nod to his brilliance, perhaps simpler is better. Something that appeals to the vanity within all of us.
You look great! Have you been working out?
He’ll be suspicious, so I’ll have to tread carefully.
Fans are upset with plans to film “The Andy Griffith Show” movie in Indiana.
I said no to the woman who offered me a volunteer role in my golf league. My back seized up mid-round, I could barely finish and now I’m popping blue buddies (Advil) while I rest at home for a few days. And they say there are no coincidences. Anyway, here’s my response:
“Thanks so much for thinking of me. I’m sorry, but I’ll have
to say no this time around. I do understand the needs of our group and will
consider volunteering in the future.”
She said OK, thanks for thinking about it. And many thanks to Retirement Confidential readers for the thoughtful feedback! Your advice, coupled with new evidence of annoying behavior helped me decide.
In golf, every hole has a mowed area where you hit your
first shot. The tee box. Markers define the edges, and you stand behind an
imaginary line between the two markers facing the target.
Yesterday I played with one of the big wheels in the first
group, and she religiously spread the markers on each hole as wide as possible.
I asked why, and she said lefties complain the hole doesn’t line up for them
properly unless the markers are spread wide. I said presumably there are left-handed
men, and no one shuffles their markers around, and she said, “Women are picky.”
I rest my case.
The Taste Test
For the finale to my first season as a gentlewoman cannabis farmer, I taste-tested my haul, and it’s very nice weed, indeed! This particular strain is called Jack Herer, known for relieving stress and producing a pleasant buzz. I’m always careful not to overdo it … just enough to feel the beginnings of a smile.
I put a seed in water today to germinate … this one is going in a 5-gallon pot with the aim of increasing my yield. Since I am still so new at this, I decided not to re-use the soil from my first grow. It’s probably just a matter of fertilizer, but I went with the expansion kit from A Pot for Pot.
Don’t mess with aunt bee
This morning’s newspaper had an article about a movie featuring
Andy Taylor of Mayberry … being filmed in Indiana. Fans are furious they would
film it anywhere but North Carolina.
Having lived in South Carolina, I am familiar with Andy
Taylor, who was played by Andy Griffith in “The Andy Griffith Show.” The show
was based in Mayberry, a fictional representation of Mount Airy, N.C., where
the real Andy grew up.
The show is iconic in the South. The Carolinas, anyway. I remember
watching re-runs in the chemo room at the hospital in South Carolina, where I
was treated for ovarian cancer 21 years ago. Andy was always on, and it didn’t
matter if you were black or white or had cancer or not, if you changed the
channel you were dead.
Later, I complained about it to a co-worker. I said the worst
of it was that sanctimonious Aunt Bee.
I can’t adequately describe the reaction. Shock quickly accelerating
to outrage? Like how is that possible? What’s not to love about Aunt Bee?
It would not be completely accurate to say no one spoke to
me again after that, but there was always an edge. Like, oh, yeah, you! What a
great presentation smarty pants, but aren’t you the one who said you didn’t
like Aunt Bee? It’s the kind of thing that follows you around.
My advice to the moviemakers. Suck it up. Go to North Carolina. Say nice things about
Aunt Bee.
New Crime fiction
In the category of crime fiction, I recommend the first two books
in what I hope will be a long series by Louisa Luna. “Two Girls Down” is the
first, and the second is “The Janes.” The character is Alice Vega, a tough and
brilliant young freelance detective who finds missing children. She partners
with a disgraced former cop named Cap.
Alice is different than your run-of-the-mill female detective.
Stoic is the word that comes to mind. Totally focused on getting the job done
and not much interested in normal pleasures like food and sleep, she uses bolt cutters
to take bad guys down. Bolt cutters aside, the violence is relatively minimal.
Plopping down to read in the middle of the afternoon is one of retirement’s greatest pleasures. And getting books from the library adds to the joy – no cost, no risk. Oh, the pain of spending money on a book you can’t get through.
While I read all kinds of stuff, my favorite genre is crime
fiction. However, I’m picky about my crime. I avoid serial killers and creepy
psychopaths in fiction and in real life. I avoid writers who almost always find
a way to make women the victim. I’m looking at you, Harlan Coben.
Murder comes with the territory when you read mysteries, but
I like to keep it simple … a crime of passion or greed. A stabbing, a shooting,
perhaps an overdose. No torture. An ordinary person goes off the rails. A
family tries to hide its secrets. I also like stories about missing persons,
robbery and white-collar crime.
I prefer my crime to be over and done with before I start
the book. I’m OK with some violence or threats of violence scattered throughout
the novel to add tension, but the primary purpose of the story is to shape this
defining character, usually a detective, who is going to solve the mystery.
Although I am a lightweight when it comes to grizzly details, I usually like my detectives a bit rough around the edges. Hardboiled and American, although I’m starting to branch out on that front.
Retirement is also a perfect time to discover or re-read oldies but goodies. Not every book in the series meets my ideal criteria, but I love these characters, and there’s a substantial catalog! Some newer, some older, but to me, they define the genre.
By the way, I’m still messing around with Goodreads. You should be able to access my shelf listing the first book in each series.
8 Classic American Detectives
Lew Archer (18 books): A southern California private investigator with a focus on complex family dramas, mostly written in the 50s and 60s. By Ross Macdonald.
Harry Bosch (22 books): A Vietnam veteran and Los Angeles police detective with an attitude and a conscience. By Michael Connelly.
Doc Ford (26 books): Ex-CIA agent and marine biologist on the west coast of Florida working hard to keep his friends out of trouble. By Randy Wayne White.
Sharon McCone (33 books): A San Francisco-based investigator and one of the first modern female private eyes. By Marcia Muller.
Travis McGee (21 books): A “salvage consultant” who recovers lost things while living on his houseboat in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. By John D. MacDonald.
Kinsey Millhone (25 books): The famous alphabet series starring a tough female private investigator in Santa Teresa, California. By Sue Grafton.
Dave Robicheaux (22 books): A troubled cop in Louisiana investigating bad guys along with his dangerous sidekick, Clete. By James Lee Burke.
V.I. Warshawski (20 books): A former lawyer and private eye in Chicago focusing on murder cases connected with white-collar crime. By Sara Paretsky.
