Category: Simple Pleasures

Reluctant travelers

We must not be the only ones who don’t have a big desire to travel in retirement, but sometimes it feels that way.

Dale and I traveled a lot when we were younger. Lived overseas and moved more than 20 times, so much of the excitement is lost on us. Our wanderlust peaked in the early 2000s.

It felt like finding a member of my tribe when I read this article about the actor Eugene Levy of Schitt’s Creek – he hates to leave the comforts of home but was convinced to do a show called The Reluctant Traveler.

Has anyone seen it? It’s on Apple TV+, which we don’t get. There’s a free episode, but you have to sign in. I hate that.

As it happens, some of us like to make a nest and hang out in it. I’m not saying I wouldn’t ever visit an exotic destination, but in a lot of ways, our home already feels like a resort. It’s about mastering the art of simple pleasures.

Dale and I don’t have a McMansion or anything, but we have a nice home and live well but within our means. We cook and eat great food, sleep on an amazing bed with deliciously comfy sheets and have a nice little stash of quality wine and weed. There’s space for me to work on my art, and Dale has a small garden. We love our pool in the summer and the spa in the winter.

The other issue is I always thought of vacations as time to recover from work. Now, every day is a vacation, so I don’t need to go anywhere to get away from it all. I can lay around and read all day at home if I want to!

All that said, I do agree it’s important to change your surroundings from time to time and experience new things. I’m the travel planner in the family, and it’s not a job I relish. I finally decided this week to accept my fate in life and embrace the role. No whining allowed.

I bought two books about traveling in California and am starting to get serious about road trips. We like one or two-nighters. I can’t imagine being gone for weeks at a time, but I know many retirees enjoy that lifestyle. I thought, well, if we have some money to spend, why not go to Napa? It’s less than two hours away, and they are happy to take your offerings.

So, I’ve booked us just one night in Napa with one winery visit and a few other stops along the way. Not sure where we’ll eat, but there’s no shortage of choices.

In the meantime, we are continuing to enjoy our little resort. We were going to watch (again) the Lord of the Rings trilogy, but the DVD kept skipping. The player must be at least 20 years old. Same for the DVDs. We figured it was time to buy new, but then Dale remembered for some obscure reason we had two sets of the DVDs.

The other one works without a hitch! That’s on the agenda for this evening. We’re going to split a pan-fried steak accompanied by baked potatoes, salad and some of that tasty wine.

We were jazzed that we don’t have to buy a new player. They’re relatively inexpensive, so it’s odd we’re willing to blow some bucks in Napa but can’t bear to replace the ancient DVD player. I mean, not if we don’t have to, right? The whole idea of wandering through Best Buy trying to figure it all out is pretty exhausting.

In other entertainment news, we like bad Sci-Fi movies from the 50s and have been renting them on Amazon. Below is my watchlist.

  • Cat Women of the Moon
  • Attack of the 50-foot Woman
  • Beast from 20,000 Fathoms
  • The Blob
  • Bride of the Monster
  • Earth vs the Flying Saucers
  • The Man from Planet X
  • 20 Million Miles to Earth
  • The Atomic Man
  • The Incredible Shrinking Man
  • Queen of Outer Space
  • Conquest of Space
  • Rocketship X-M
  • The Werewolf
  • From Hell it Came
  • The Brain from Planet Arous
  • The Cyclops
  • Revenge of the Creature
  • Friend Without a Face
  • Tarantula!
  • Them!
  • The Giant Behemoth
  • I Married a Monster from Outer Space
  • The Thing
  • The Day the Earth Stood Still
  • The Space Children
  • The Flying Saucer
  • The Devil Girl from Mars
  • Curse of the Demon
  • Robot Monster

Does anyone else out there enjoy this genre? Please feel free to share your favorites! While all of the above are from the 50s, we like all the campy classics. I just added Surf Nazis Must Die from 1987.

Bottom line is there are lots of ways to have fun in retirement. Everyone finds their own path, and that’s the joy of it. For those of you who aren’t so much into travel, I hope it’s comforting to know you’re not alone.  

Not messing with my face

I’ve been thinking about Madonna’s face, and I’m guessing that’s exactly what she wanted. Famous people accustomed to the limelight can’t seem to give it up, so why not just maim yourself to get everyone talking? I don’t believe it has anything to do with ageism. I mean, she doesn’t look younger, only worse, but at least she’s in the headlines again.

Personally, I’m more focused on healthy habits and creature comforts than messing with my aging face. Do I sometimes do a little mirror surgery to see what I’d look like with everything tightened right up? Sure, but that’s not how I want to go down.

For example, I went to the dermatologist yesterday and actually had to put on real clothes. Black leggings, black t-shirt, black denim jacket, white sneakers, turquoise earrings, no makeup and a shock of silver hair. I must admit, I looked in the mirror and thought, damn, I look cool.

As I see it, you can dye your hair and inject your face, and that might create the illusion of youth, but I’m pretty sure they know how old we are. My thinking is that silence is a position of weakness, and being silent erodes confidence over time. I refuse to cower.

Aging should be a liberating experience. Wear what you want, say what you think, live how you like and like how you look – perhaps it is the absence of these things that makes aging such a drag for so many people.

But not us! We’re digging it, right?

So, the latest in retirement creature comforts – linen sheets. I mean, if you can afford this, do it before you die. I bought mine here. I can’t quite describe the comfort – soft but not silky. Not warm, not cool. The fabric feels heavier, but air flows through it. Dale preferred silky cotton, but he’s converted now. There’s no turning back for me.

Another indulgence I started this year is a 90-minute full-body massage every three weeks.  I love it. Yes, even though it does hurt a bit when she digs into those trigger points. The pain kind of scared me at first. I thought she had uncovered some sort of rare muscle-wasting disease, and I almost quit going because I thought, well, better not to know.

But now, I just breathe my way through it and it starts to feel good. Aside from the pure pleasure of having my creaky old body tended to, I do think massage is nothing but good news for your immune system, and it helps with stress, circulation, muscle pain and flexibility.

So, back to aging faces. I love the artist Jesse Dayton, and I am absolutely crazy about this reboot of Brand New Cadillac with Samantha Fish. Check out the drummer!

Old and cool. Inspiration for us all.

A wee bit of travel

Montaña de Oro State Park

As a homebody who saw a lot of the world in my younger days, retirement for me was never going to be all about travel, but I figured I’d go somewhere, sometime. Right? Right?

Then the pandemic hit, and the answer was wrong, wrong. We hunkered down. It was fine, but you can only make so much sourdough. One does reach a point where all that isolation wears on you. We’re both fully vaccinated and fully boosted with no significant health issues, so we decided it was time to reenter civilization, travel a bit and take some calculated risks.

Dale and I took a road trip to Morro Bay, a beautiful spot on the central coast of California. For us, it was about a five-hour drive.

Our hotel was right by the water, and the views were spectacular. We hiked in Montaña de Oro State Park and took a day trip to Hearst Castle. We also checked out some local museums and ate well, including oysters – barbequed and fried. We dined inside, but the restaurants weren’t packed and seemed well-ventilated. We chose not to worry about it.

We did mask up for Hearst Castle. I went there as a kid but don’t remember much of anything but the swimming pools! Dale had never been, and much to my surprise, he loved it. He even did more reading about Hearst and the estate itself after we got back. Having that kind of money and choosing to spend it that way was infinitely fascinating to him.

We were home for a few days, and then I went off on a girl’s golf trip to Santa Cruz and Capitola. There were seven of us, and I was a bit nervous, but it turned out to be a blast. The golf was spectacular, although much more difficult than where we normally play. Three rounds of golf and unusually high scores for me, but … I only lost one ball! I consider that a victory.

The conversation among the women was fantastic. I haven’t been in a group like that for many years, and I forgot how fun it can be. The only sensitive issue came up after the Roe versus Wade announcement.

Most were pro-choice, but one woman shared a different perspective. She was all about abortion access belonging to the states, and the rest of us were calling bullshit, but it was a civilized and respectful discussion. Everyone got to say what they wanted to say, and we moved onto a different topic … semi-naked men.

Nothing like semi-naked men to bring a group of 60 and 70-something women together. Our accommodations included a huge picture window facing an area where surfers change in and out of their wetsuits. Most of these athletic surfers were beautiful physical specimens, and it was better than television. I think they knew were we watching and preened a bit, but maybe I imagined that.

There were women surfers, too, but my eyes were elsewhere.

We also had game night. I love games, and Dale hates them for the most part, so I enjoyed it a lot. We played “Blank Slate.” A word is flashed with a blank in front of it or behind it, and everyone writes down a word that would go with it. For example, cheese _____. The goal is to get matches, so you want a common word.

On that particular word, we had cheese board, cheeseburger – I forget what else. I picked cheese doodles, thinking that would be the big winner, and no one else had ever heard of them. It ended up being hilarious, although that might have been the margaritas talking.

I was telling my sister about it, and she said it sounded like The Match Game, a 1970s TV show. I remember that show! For some reason, I recall the actress Arlene Francis was one of the panelists.

Anyway, that is more travel than either one of us has done in years. My girl’s trip was good for both of us. We’ve always had plenty of “breaks” over the years, but we kind of holed up together after the pandemic. While I loved the time away and enjoying the company of other women, I also found myself missing him, so it’s all good.  

In my absence, Dale and Riley, our cat, watched the hearings together and Dale filled me in on all that when I returned. We thought Ivanka’s hair and makeup looked particularly odd and resembled some other notable person but we couldn’t figure out who. With me gone, he had time to think about something other than my petty needs, and bingo …

Saruman!

I did mess up one thing. I hate to talk on the phone, so I suggested Dale text me if he had anything to say. I’m sure I told him I’d be back Saturday afternoon, but I didn’t write it down. I didn’t even give him the address of where I’d be or any additional information.

On Friday, he texted me asking for an ETA, and I thought he meant for Saturday, but he thought I was coming home Friday night. I got a panic call from him late that night, wondering where the hell I was.

When I got home, we concluded that next time I’ll leave more information on a cheat sheet, and next time we will talk not text. Simple enough.

And there will be a next time. We are both happy to be home but energized by new experiences. This is a little bit of a shift in our retirement strategy. While we’re unlikely to become retirement globe trotters, I do see more travel in our future.

Cheerfulness breaking through

Number 26

I’m emerging from a self-imposed funk, and I started to write about all the racist, sexist bullshit things that are pissing me off right now, but once I go down that rabbit hole, it’s hard to climb back out. I’ll just say this. I don’t believe in conspiracy theories, but from what I’ve seen, we’d be better off if about half of the country is replaced. Bring it on.

Buffalo sent me over the edge, but I’m creeping back toward the middle now. Trying to focus on simple pleasures. Things I can control such as my body (but that’s only because I don’t have a uterus).

Oops, there I go again. Back to our regular programming.

As an avid golfer, I couldn’t wait to retire because I read somewhere you get better and better if you practice and play a lot. I’m a decent golfer, but after a few years of playing three times a week, I’m not much better than when I played twice a month. I must have missed the part that said, “Individual Results May Vary.”

This week I made the momentous decision to cut one day off my weekly golf schedule. And in the end, it really has nothing to do with how well I play. Golf is a time-sucker, and there’s too much competition on the hobby front – swimming, walking, cooking, reading, writing and making art. Oh, and I just signed up for the free version of Duolingo to learn Spanish.

The pool at the club where I swim laps is finally warm enough to swim without a thermal top. Without all that weighing me down, I felt like Flipper! I never could find a one-piece that fit, so I ended up buying these tops at Lululemon. They’re not swimsuits per se, but they work great for those of us who have had a mastectomy without reconstruction. I pair them with basic bottoms from Target.

Today is Dale’s birthday, so he’s making fajitas. I was willing to cook, but that’s what he wanted, and fajitas are his thing. I did make cheesecake! We both love it, but sometimes I think we just need a batch of graham cracker crust now and then. I’m thinking about waffles for tomorrow morning. I like this recipe from King Arthur. You can make the batter ahead and refrigerate it overnight.

I’ve been kind of burned out on streaming shows, although the new Bosch series is great. If you like seriously twisted crime fiction, I recommend The Turnout by Megan Abbott. It’s about a family of ballet dancers, and she does for ballet what she did for cheerleaders in Dare Me. It’s all sick and wrong, but that’s why you read Megan Abbott.

On a more pleasant note, I read the first two in a series of Victorian mysteries by Tasha Alexander featuring Lady Emily Ashton. They are a tad tame for me, but I liked them a lot and will probably read the rest. I’m not proud, but I have Tina Brown’s new book about the royals on reserve at the library. The Palace Papers – looks like she dishes on just about everyone, and for some reason, that appeals to me at this moment in time.  

I updated the gallery to include my last two pieces, Number 26 and Number 27. I couldn’t be happier to have discovered the joys of art later in life. With the time I’m getting back by skipping a day of golf, I think I’m going to visit Dick Blick and see what that’s all about. I’ve never been, although I do order from them online.

For many of us, it’s hard to stay positive, yet I somehow manage (for the most part). I’m reminded of the late musician Leonard Cohen, who said, “I’ve studied all the philosophies and all the theologies, but cheerfulness keeps breaking through!”

Do you need a vacation calibration?

Mendocino Headlands State Park
Navarro Vineyards

We’re back from our trip to Mendocino, and as it happens, the weather was cold and rainy. We were forced to take shelter in a winery, where one can stay until the Pinot’s gone weather clears.

The scenery in Mendocino is spectacular. We hiked around Mendocino Headlands State Park and visited two wineries. As you may know, Dale and I live in great wine country, but the Anderson Valley specializes in wines that are not typically grown near us. That’s how we ended up with two cases of wine – a mix of Chardonnay, Gewurztraminer and Pinot Noir.

The obligatory difference of opinion between us lovebirds came down to whether we should leave the wine in the car overnight. I’m thinking several hundred dollars in wine – take it up to the room in case someone decides to smash and grab.

Dale’s thinking that’s way too much work. Take a chance.

Granted, our room was in an old house with narrow steps. And we are not as young and hearty as we once were. Dale finally agreed and carried our first case up. He was almost to the top, when he stumbled, but he righted the ship pretty well, saved the wine and only got a scrape on his knee.

He was annoyed because he saw no reason why the wine couldn’t have stayed in the car. But my little brain was working overtime, and I said, hey, I have an idea! My suitcase was a sturdy tote with a thick shoulder strap. What if I emptied it out, we put some of the bottles in the bag and shuttled the wine up in shifts?

And that is what we did. Kind of pathetic, but even Dale said it worked out pretty well. Of course, we had to shuttle it back to the car this morning, but downhill was way easier.

We were mostly disappointed in the food. But then we almost always are. Back in our globe-trotting days, we ate some pretty amazing meals. And these days, we are good cooks with impossibly high standards. We ate at a pub one night – our first dinner out since the pandemic! Mediocre fish and chips. So sad when you know how good it can be.

The second night we ate at a fancy place. We both got duck for an entrée, and it was cooked to perfection, but they used five spice seasoning, and I think it overpowered the duck. It just didn’t taste ducky enough for us. They served it with sautéed Swiss chard, which I love, but I didn’t think it was a good pairing.

All in all, we had a fine time, and we’re glad we went, but there’s some room for improvement. For many retirees, travel is their main mission, and they’re good at it. If that’s you, please feel free to skip this next part. But if you’re like us, homebodies with only a moderate itch to travel, you might benefit from what I’m calling a vacation calibration.

When we were younger, we were avid scuba divers. Most of our vacations were at Caribbean beach resorts. We don’t dive anymore, so the beach is less alluring. Yet we keep heading there, partly because that’s what we’ve always done. We do love the ocean vistas and great seafood, but this trip poked a hole in the seafood-is-better-at-the-beach theory.

I also used to be happy just hanging around the pool reading, because it was the opposite of work. Now I can stay home, hang around the pool and read whenever I want. I certainly don’t want to waste time and money to veg in the sun.

Food is a big attraction, but there’s the disappointment factor. I thought, what if we were just so damned hungry, that perfect food wasn’t the objective? What if all we need is something like a burger and a beer, which you can get about anywhere. And that led me to the idea that hiking might be a better focus for our trips. Work out hard, get cleaned up, eat, drink, crawl back to clean dry room and repeat?

That’s pretty much what we did when we were diving, but maybe at this stage of our lives we’re mountain people.

Dale reminded me that we loved Santa Fe, N.M. Plenty of hiking, interesting historical artifacts, great museums and delicious food. All the restaurants within an easy walk of the hotel. There must be more places like that!

So that’s my mission, should I choose to accept it. Continue with the vacation calibration and find a better fit for our changing expectations. While this trip wasn’t perfect, look at the pictures! I mean, how bad could it be?

Trying not to worry

Riley

It feels like everything is going to shit, that maybe this is the beginning of the end, but I keep telling myself not to worry about things I can’t control. And I am reminded of a scene from Lord of the Rings:

“I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo.

“So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

As I’ve muddled my way through retirement, I’ve pretty much let go of the idea that I need to accomplish anything. Just hanging out, enjoying simple pleasures. Trying not to worry but worrying anyway about Riley, our cat, and why he likes Dale better. It can’t just be about the food.

However, sometimes I get this idea – I can’t quite reach it – but it feels like something might be pulling me in a new direction. As per usual, I have few clues as to what that might be.

My prediction is that I’ll discover something special to write about, I’ll do some sort of long-distance walk or I’ll find a new focus for my cooking obsession. As I reflect on these speculations, it occurs to me all are a search for a singular passion, which I don’t appear to have. Always the dabbler, we’ll just have to wait and see what comes of my magical thinking.

I’m trying not to stress out about anything. Maybe retirement doesn’t need to be orchestrated. Just live it and do your best to stay healthy and happy. Or maybe it’s a cycle, and you just have to ride out each phase until the next one appears. I don’t know, but I’m open to endless possibilities.

I do these deep breathing exercises in bed before I even get up. It’s almost a form of meditation, and I think that’s when all will be revealed. Until then, I continue to putz around, taking care of things that perhaps don’t matter in the big picture but seem to provide a sense of steady comfort.  

Whatever happens, my hair will look good. When I got my hair lopped off in early December, the stylist said I would need regular trimmings about every six weeks. I eagerly signed up, even though I’ve previously been resistant to the whole salon regime. They say never surrender, unless you’re 66 and your hair looks like crap.

I canceled my first trim due to Omicron. My hair still looked better than it ever did, but I absolutely loved the shorter bob. The rescheduled appointment was this week! Our Covid numbers are way down, but at this point, I didn’t care if Godzilla breezed into town, I was getting a haircut. I’m delighted with the results. And yes, I wore a mask.

This might be the vaccine microchip talking, but I’ve actually had an urge to go shopping. Like not online and for real. It’s hard to imagine I could need anything beyond what’s delivered to my doorstep, but going to the mall seems like such a quaint thing to do.

Although we didn’t have much money, my mother loved clothes and was always good for a trip to The Broadway. It’s gone now. I vividly remember waiting outside with great anticipation for the doors to open before a big sale and was always enthralled with the lingerie section upstairs, where there was a big glass case of fancy peignoir sets. Oh my!

The peignoirs were gone, too, by the time I got old enough to wear them. I do like fancy undies and may splurge if I should make it to said mall. Although I remember the owner of a lingerie store telling me, “If you wait until you can afford it, you’ll look like hell in it.”

I’m well into the second half of that sentence, but I also need swimwear, which is difficult to order over the internet and particularly difficult for me since I chose to go flat after my mastectomy. It will take an N95 and perhaps medication to get me through swimsuit shopping.

I’ve gone back and forth on the whole streaming music thing, and I have no qualm with anyone’s decision one way or the other. There are no saints in this story. However, I’ve decided to give Spotify the big FU for supporting Joe Rogan and switch to Amazon Music Prime.

While I don’t think my decision puts a dent in the universe and in no way settles the myriad issues over music streaming in general, I’ve read Amazon pays artists slightly more. But that might be smoke and mirrors. At the end of the day, go with your gut and try not to worry.

Play. Play nice.

Lots of people out there seem to have ambitious goals for the year, but I’m keeping it simple:

Play. Play nice.

I’ve heard people say retirement evolves over the years. So far, I would say that’s true. I spent the first year happy to sleep late, and now I can’t wait to wake up and play Wordle.

We had a solid financial plan, but I worried about money in the beginning. Perhaps it was just the newness of not having a steady income, but I’m over it. With a conservative investment portfolio, I don’t even care much about what happens in the stock market.

Art was something I discovered after I retired, but everything else is about the same only more so. As I enter my fifth year of retirement, I find myself doing what comes naturally … digging deeper into the things that give me pleasure. Golf. Walk. Swim. Cook. Eat well.

Cooking is an obsession. I had a whim this week that I would like to make crepes. I’ve had a few here and there over the years, but they haven’t been high on my yum list. I’ve certainly never made them myself. But for some mysterious reason, crepes came calling.

As it turns out, we have a crepe cookbook, circa 1976. We have a lot of old cookbooks, and it’s fun to try vintage recipes. While I did use a recipe from the cookbook for the filling, I turned to Serious Eats for the basic crepe batter. I made them in a regular 10-inch nonstick pan.

After making the batter and preheating the pan, I poured a few tablespoons of the batter in, swirled the pan around and cooked them until lightly golden on one side and then just done on the other. I stacked them on a plate, covered it in plastic wrap and let them sit in the refrigerator until I was ready to make the filling.

I love when a major step in a recipe can be done ahead.

The filling was scallops, green onion and mushrooms in a wine cream sauce. I used a sheet pan and laid a crepe flat, filling one side and then folding over like a quesadilla. The top was sprinkled with grated Gruyère cheese and then baked in the oven at 350 degrees until the cheese was melted. I served them with steamed asparagus on the side.

All I can say is wow. Where have these been all my life? I was so excited I forgot to take a picture. Anyway, I can imagine so many things that would make excellent crepes. I’m more interested in savory than I am sweet.

Drilling down into the things I like to do anyway helped me realize I don’t need a LinkedIn account. My profile has been static since I’m not working anymore and don’t intend to. But I’ve left it there anyway, mostly out of inertia, but partially because I like seeing what former colleagues are up to.

Lately I’ve noticed LinkedIn has become a lot like Facebook, which I abandoned years ago. My LinkedIn feed is increasingly full of political messages, family stories, sexy graduation pictures. There was even a post about someone’s stillborn baby.

On one hand, maybe this is what they mean when they say bring your full self to work, but if people think blurring the lines between home and work will lead to a happier life, they might be in for a rude awakening.

I don’t know what’s posted on LinkedIn today, because I closed my account. Just like that. Interestingly enough, as I shut down one source of online connections, I’ve amplified my efforts to connect with  people I meet face-to-face, mostly on the golf course. We already share a love of golf, correct?

With a little effort to be friendlier and more approachable, I discovered a fellow golfer shares my cooking obsession. I gave her some of Dale’s homemade scorpion pepper salsa in exchange for a jar of her homemade marmalade. That led to an invitation to join a group playing at a celebrated course down the road a piece. It’s just a day trip, but this will be my first out-of-town adventure since the pandemic. I’m kind of excited.

Play. Play nice. Just might be something to it.

Doomscrolling to foodscrolling

My birthday came and went. In my continuing efforts to stay sane during these unprecedented times, I’ve successfully transitioned from doomscrolling horrible news to foodscrolling delicious recipes.

The cake was/is absolutely incredible. My husband started calling me Cake Boss.

Dale and I each had a piece, and I froze the rest, but I’ve already pulled one out to thaw. As they say when you go winetasting, I’d like to revisit that one, please.

The cake was a wee bit dense. Next time, I would be sure to beat the batter a little longer at a higher speed. Oh, about the buttercream roses. I couldn’t quite pull it off. They look more like tiny piles of fettuccine, which is fine with me. It’s a new thing. Fettuccini flowers. They are delicious.

I have a thing for coconut in all its forms, especially spicy food made with unsweetened coconut milk. Dale likes them well enough, but I’ve improvised a couple of dishes that turned out great, and I believe he is converted.

Yesterday, I started with this basic recipe for Coconut Shrimp Curry with Mushrooms. I got the recipe from the NY Times cooking section, which is behind a firewall. But the link above is the same recipe at a site that didn’t have restrictions.  

As I browsed the recipe, it seemed to me I could make it more Thai or more Indian, depending on seasonings and vegetables. I went with Thai and added chopped spinach, fish sauce and lime. Served it in a bowl with white rice and cilantro and toasted peanuts on top.

The broth was thick but reminiscent of Tom Kha Gai. You could add more coconut milk and/or stock to achieve a more soup-like consistency.

If I had gone Indian, I would have added garam masala and maybe some cauliflower.

My passion for cooking surprises me. Sometimes I wish I had gone to culinary school, but I grew up thinking cooking was a girly thing, and I wanted to break free from stereotypes. I suppose that’s why I joined the Army. Then 50 years later, you don’t care if it’s girly or manly or gender-neutral. You know what you like, and if you’re lucky, you get to do it.

While I might take a class here and there, my achy breaky parts are not likely to withstand the demands of culinary school. So, I’ll continue to poke around in the kitchen in my primitive fashion.

I’ve mentioned before we have years and years of Gourmet magazines. Some time ago, we ordered special binders to keep the years together with an annual index. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but the heavy bulky binders are unwieldly, and the individual issues don’t exactly stay put.

I didn’t mind all that until my back started bothering me. Sitting for long periods is about the only thing that makes my pain worse, so much of my foodscrolling has gone low-tech. I still spend plenty of time at the computer, but I try to take little breaks throughout the day and lay flat for at least 15 minutes or so.

What a perfect opportunity to browse real cookbooks or actual Gourmet magazines! I remember back in the day when we subscribed, way before computers, I’d save the new issue to read in the bathtub. That, and National Lampoon. I miss that one.

The thing about Gourmet is that I’m eager to try some ambitious cooking projects, and it seems like a good place to start. But you can’t really rest comfortably with a 5-inch binder full of magazines.

We finally decided the binders were worthless at this point, possibly from having been moved across the country multiple times. On a bad air quality day with nothing better to do, I pulled all the magazines out of the binders and tossed the binders.

Then I lined up the issues on a bookshelf from oldest to newest, left to right. I had annual indexes for some but not all. If there was no annual index, I photocopied the index page of each magazine. Then I put all the indexes together in a magazine holder like you see at the library.

The idea is you grab the pile of indexes and browse those until something piques your interest. Then you go pull an individual magazine, lying upon the 43-year-old corduroy comfy couch to squander the afternoon daydreaming about food and what you’ll try next.

Just another way to scoll …

All play and no work

I’ve kept journals for years, although I often quit mid-way through, leaving lots of empty pages behind. However, I’ve kept the journals and periodically go back to raid them for fresh paper. I found one this week from 1994. I was 39 years old, and I was already dreaming about retirement.

Well, not retirement per se, but it seems I already wanted the exact lifestyle I enjoy today. All play and no work!

I slept like a baby last night. I worry sometimes because I do so enjoy my sleep. But on weekends, I don’t mind getting up, because I know the day is mine. But getting up and going to work, knowing that time belongs to someone else is not motivation for getting up. But what else can I do?

Work isn’t that bad. I don’t know why I hate it so much. Maybe I just wasn’t born for work. I’d rather play!

I’m looking forward to Christmas. Not because I like Christmas but because I have 11 days off! I love it. I plan to write and practice piano and walk. Maybe throw in a little cooking. And reading, of course. I do love life when I can do the things I like.

I sure wish I didn’t have to go to work today. I love staying home. Maybe I should have married money. But then I would be embarrassed to be a kept woman.

I’m feeling happier. I’ve come to the realization my self-worth is not wrapped up in what happens to me at work. It’s not my soul in there. I know I have to have a job, and I want to be good at it, and I want to get promoted and all that, but it’s not my purpose in life.

For the record, I was not a real piano player. I was learning to read music and play the piano with a special “piano” keyboard and program that plugged into my Mac. I learned three or four songs and had Dale videotape my recital. I would go on to express regrets about my performance.

It seems I blew Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.

On the bright side, I would go on to have a successful career doing pretty much what I was doing when I complained about it in 1994. While I worked hard and had a strong drive to succeed, I was always ready to goof off and had lots of soul-affirming hobbies and interests. Ultimately, I accepted the dualities of work and play, but I never felt like I found my purpose.

Still, I’m glad I stayed the course in my career and didn’t chuck it all to live off the land. Money doesn’t grow on trees, as my mother used to say, and my job was key to building our savings. But all the fun stuff I did over the years is what truly prepared me for retirement.

The fun meter isn’t exactly pegged these days, what with fires, smoke, COVID … have I forgotten anything? But I still love retirement, and reading my old journals was a great reminder to quit whining, relax and enjoy the privilege of life.

As for purpose, I heard the musician Steve Earle talking on his Sirius radio show the other day, and he said he has always believed he was put here for a purpose, but he’s no longer arrogant enough to assume he knows what that is. Instead, he said, “I just show up.”

Me, too, Steve.

Camping for homebodies

Almost 50 years old and perfect for camping.

While we are professional homebodies, we do like to camp. But not too much. It’s all about balance.

Dale and I just returned from a camping trip at the beach on the Sonoma coastline, and I didn’t take a single picture. Just soaked it all in. I thought I’d share a few tricks that make the experience easier all around, especially if long wilderness excursions aren’t your thing.

To recap our camping history, we started out with a two-person backpacker tent many moons ago and eventually upgraded to Big Daddy, a luxurious base camp designed to sleep six. It’s big (hence the name) and heavy but not a problem for hearty car campers. The tent has an enclosed vestibule but no floor, and that’s where we keep the luggable loo for midnight pee excursions.

When we lived in Texas, where once it gets hot it stays hot, we upgraded to a retro-style teardrop trailer with air conditioning. We called it, “The Toaster.” It was super lightweight, and we towed it with our Honda Element.

We loved The Toaster at first, but it was poorly designed, poorly made, leaked, didn’t keep us cool and gave us nothing but problems. We towed it to California, leaving behind a bumper that blew off somewhere near Barstow.

Most of northern California cools off at night even when it’s hot during the day, so we didn’t need the malfunctioning AC anymore. We took The Toaster on some memorable trips, but it just got junkier and junkier. When I retired, we were moving anyway, so we donated it.

That put us back in the tent camping business. We resurrected Big Daddy and took a couple of nice trips pre-pandemic. Our last trip was early fall 2019. Napa, where it was hot and buggy. Yellow jackets (bugs not the attire) were in abundance, and in a moment of solidarity, Dale and I tore down the tent in 2.5 seconds and drove home.

This time around, I had a hard time finding reservations. People are camping more than ever. Even the spot I found at the beach was a miracle. We had a lovely site across the street from the ocean overlooking the bay, but there wasn’t room for our tent. We had to put it on the asphalt pad, and that actually worked out fine. When I unrolled the tent, guess what I found? A dead yellow jacket.

We have a deliciously comfy queen-size air mattress with a rechargeable pump and inexpensive zip-together sleeping bags. We try to do all our camping in favorable weather, so we don’t need high-end sleeping bags.

Dale & Donna’s patented camping formula is a two-night stay – more manageable in terms of food and other necessities, and also so the cat doesn’t get mad.

Our custom is to cook steaks one night and make steak sandwiches the next. A big breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast. Of course, we could modify the menu and come up with something just as easy. The key is not to add an extra night.

I have learned that trying to wash dishes at most campsites is a major pain in the ass, so we don’t. That’s one of the reasons we like the two-night stay. I have an old laundry bag, which I line with a plastic garbage bag. Dirty dishes go in there, and we put them in the dishwasher when we get home.

Most of the tent sites we get don’t have hookups, so we have a French press coffee maker. Load coarsely ground coffee into the bottom of the pot, boil some water on the camping stove and pour that over. Let it steep for a few minutes and slowly depress the plunger to separate the coffee grounds from the liquid. Delicious!!

On the morning we depart, we get up and go. Because we’re homebodies. We’re done. No breakfast, but we stop and get coffee for the road.

Most of the campgrounds we visit have flush toilets and coin-operated showers. I have this little cosmetic case that was part of a set I received as a gift when I graduated from high school! I used to love traveling with the various pieces, because no one has that color. The rest of it is gone, but I still have this little guy for camping. Flops and other shower stuff fits in the bottom, and there a little tray that sits on the top to hold your toothbrush, etc.  

We take music, books, games. Some places are great for hiking. On this trip, we had a lovely walk along the beach. We drove into town just to see what was there. I do like the woods, but all in all, the beach was quite pleasant. The sounds alone are worth the price of admission.

I’ve written often that we don’t have a travel Jones, but we concluded after this trip that in some form or fashion, it’s important to get out and about. To change your routine and your surroundings from time to time. See things from a different perspective. It’s good for your brain, it’s good for your relationship.  

That means we’ll continue to camp. The two-night stay is perfect for those of us who want to experience the great outdoors but still prefer the creature comforts of home.

However, we need a few upgrades. Our little camping side table that holds valuable happy hour consumables disintegrated, and we tossed it in the dumpster before we departed. The tent poles are warped, and Big Daddy is sticky and nasty with age. We figured he’s close to 20 years old! The zippers are starting to come loose from the sleeping bags, which are also about 20 years old.

The hardest replacement will be the tent. We loved Big Daddy, which is actually the Eureka Lodge. We would get the exact same tent, except they quit making them a long time ago. We have some shopping to do.

I admit I’m a little envious of the trailers, vans and fancy rigs one sees camping, but we don’t go often enough to justify the expense. Granted, we live in a mild climate, and rain or lack thereof is somewhat predictable, so that does make things easier.

We miss the old Honda Element and now drive a Honda CRV. The Element had more room, because you could remove the seats. However, we bought a cargo carrier that goes on the CRV’s trailer hitch and gives us more space for stuff. We keep all our gear stored in tubs and shelves out in the garage, and packing up, as well as putting away, is no big deal.

Yes, you can still enjoy camping without an RV and be quite comfortable. Just don’t overdo it and make sure you are comfy. We’re thinking some new equipment should fix us up just fine.