Uncoupling for a few days

After my big spiel about staying safe in the heat, it got beastly hot, and I played a rough 18 holes of golf. I got away with it, mostly because I used all my gear, including a solar umbrella, a battery-operated fan, a spray bottle of water, a cool towel and tons of fluids. That said, I felt weak and dizzy, and I should have stopped. 

I spent the next day resting and guzzling more fluids, and I felt OK after that. I vowed to be more careful going forward. Theoretically, I should be getting smarter about this stuff.

Shortly after, I went to Santa Cruz for a few days of golf with the girls. Quite the opposite weather on the coast. Dag, it was cold! But I was prepared. My knit cap and windbreaker were coveted by many. I did my best to keep up with my exercises but some require resistance bands and weights, and that just seemed like a bridge too far.

We played golf three days in a row, which is unusual for me. I wasn’t sure how my body would hold up, but I didn’t experience any pain at all and am pretty happy about that. I do think the strengthening exercises are helping in lots of different ways.

I’ve never been a big fan of cherries, but one of the women brought a bag for the trip, and they were delicious. I bought more at the farmers market today and made a smoothie with almond milk, cherries and almond butter. Yum. The tomatoes aren’t ready yet, but we can’t wait. That’s a whole season’s worth of happiness.

On the reading front, I highly recommend Sipsworth by Simon Van Booy. It’s a short novel about a lonely old woman who befriends a mouse. Just a great little story that will leave you feeling good.

The mouse in the book is very sweet, and he inspired me to have a talk with our cat about his demeanor. Riley was a rescue, but he’s been with us for, gosh, I don’t know, eight years? He still acts like we’re trying to kill him.

I asked Riley to be a little more loving. He won’t get on the bed to say hi, but I guess that’s not all bad. He’ll get in Dale’s lap once in a blue moon but not mine ever. He’s longhaired, and I groom him, and he doesn’t make a fuss. All in all, Riley is a good boy, and he’ll let me pick him up and smooch him. Uses his box. Doesn’t scratch stuff. Pukes now and again, but who doesn’t?

The book also made me think about vegetarianism. If you have an animal companion and wouldn’t think of eating him, why is your little friend more special than other animals you gladly consume?  I enjoy meat, but I could see life without it. However, I wouldn’t give up cheese unless it was a life-or-death situation.

Dale and I frequently throw that out for discussion – which would you rather give up? Meat or cheese? Easy for me. Meat. He’s a cheesehead like me but more of a carnivore and definitely on the fence.

We drive each other crazy much of the time, but Dale is still my favorite person, and he says I’m still his. However, I believe breaks are good for relationships, and we haven’t had many of those since I retired. Togetherness can be too much of a good thing. This time, I was gone four nights, and it was a nice vacation from each other.

As your official retirement confidant, I would definitely recommend retired couples periodically schedule solo trips.

I had a great time in Santa Cruz, but I’m glad to be home hanging out with Dale. It might be my imagination, but I think Riley is happy the family is back together again. Maybe that little talk we had did some good.

Nothing a little therapy wouldn’t help

In the category of strange but true, I won a golf tournament! Previously, I’ve placed in my flight and stuff like that, but this is the first time I’ve finished first overall. The prize was $40 and bragging rights.

Regular blog readers will know competition is my nemesis. I usually have this sense of being judged and struggle with confidence, especially after a poor shot. It’s like, oh, yeah, I knew it all along. You suck. At everything. You’re not worthy.

Nothing a little therapy wouldn’t help, but I believe retirement has helped me overcome my fears. With no job status to bolster my self-esteem, I’m learning that being a decent human being and living a good life is plenty. I’m more comfortable with myself and with the ups and downs of the game. I even said to Dale the night before the final round, you know, I’m not scared. I’m just going to play the best I can and enjoy the challenge of trying to make that ball do what I want.

For me, that’s progress.

I’ve always said my brain is the weakest part of my game, so I definitely think the change in mindset helped me play better. I’m also giving credit to the physical therapy regime aimed at strengthening my core. I’m guessing you are all sick of hearing about that, but seriously, this is a big deal for us aging Boomers.

Although I’ve exercised regularly for many years, I never paid attention to the core. Cancer and two major abdominal surgeries didn’t help. But I’m 10 weeks into working with a PT, who gave me a series of exercises to do at home, and it’s life-changing.

Not only is my lower back and knee pain pretty much gone, but I feel more stable even when I just move around the house. I’m definitely stronger in the water when I swim, and now I’m seeing results on the golf course. I’m not sure how it all works, but I guess a stronger core increases stability, and that translates to more power in the swing.  

I get it – not everyone is a golfer, but I’m starting to believe a stronger core is the secret to any kind of an active life as we age. The exercises are tough but worth it. I’m 68 and think of this work as an investment for my 70s and 80s.

All this learning did not prepare me for the photo opp. Granted, this was after 18 holes of golf, but a blow dry in the morning with a little product would have fixed that frizzy hair. It seems I will have to make more of an effort in the future.

You never know when you’ll win something.

Dancing with protein powder

While I’ve known for some time older adults need more protein in their diets, I assumed I was getting enough. But when I finally sat down to figure it out, it seems I was woefully shortchanging myself.

My physical therapist recommended 1 gram of protein per kilogram of body weight. I weigh 135 pounds, which is 61.2 kilograms. In rough numbers, that means about 60 grams of protein per day. Other research says adults over 50 should average about 75 grams per day. 

I found it challenging to consume that much in my normal diet, so I decided to dance with protein powder. Ready-to-drink protein shakes are an option, but I avoid processed food. As for the powders, many are sweetened with Stevia, which gives me diarrhea. That’s why I went with the unflavored variety. 

There are different kinds of protein powder, and I choose whey isolate. From what I’ve read, whey protein isolate is considered the gold standard for muscle growth, as it’s a complete protein, and it’s quickly absorbed. I randomly picked this particular product, and I’ve been quite happy with it.

Although I love fruit, I didn’t want to fool around with traditional smoothies. The powder is pretty delicious just mixed with milk, vanilla extract and a little maple syrup. That’s about 25 grams of protein all by itself. I might have that if I’ve skipped lunch and need to eat something but don’t want a meal.

However, my favorite recipe is hardier and includes other ingredients that boost the protein count and add flavor and nutrients. I drink this maybe three times a week for breakfast. I’m still focusing on my complete diet because I love food and there are lots of tasty protein options out there. The powder is merely a supplement.

The two biggest variables in the drink are Greek yogurt and milk. I’m a big fan of whole milk dairy products and normally don’t worry about calories, but for something I’m going to consume frequently, I figured it was better to go with nonfat. Interestingly, nonfat Greek yogurt is slightly higher in protein than the 5 percent variety.

I include olive oil, because it’s good for you, and I like the taste. It adds calories, but I think it’s a worthy trade-off. You could easily omit it.

As for milk, all kinds work – dairy, soy, almond, oat. I’ve experimented with dairy and almond. I like them both. Dairy is higher in calories, but it’s also higher in protein. I’ve been defaulting to almond, but I might mix it up from time to time.

One of the things I love about the recipes without fruit is that I can mix them up quickly with an immersion blender and my favorite tall measuring cup. Seriously easy clean-up. I rinse the head off and let it dry on the rack. The cup goes in the dishwasher.

Here’s my go-to breakfast drink:

In a tall measuring cup add: 1 cup unflavored almond milk, 1 scoop unflavored protein powder, about 1/3 cup or 75 grams nonfat Greek yogurt, 1 tablespoon almond butter, 1 tablespoon maple syrup, 1 tablespoon olive oil, 1 teaspoon vanilla extract. Whiz with an immersion blender and enjoy!

My calculations put this at 470 calories and 38 grams of protein. Using dairy milk pushes it up to 515 calories and 45 grams of protein. 

As I said, I’m no expert and certainly don’t want to come across as preachy, but I figure most of us want to stay healthy and age well, and we can all learn from each other. I’m doing a lot of core strengthening exercises in my physical therapy, so presumably more protein will help me build muscle, but that will take time. Same with building bone density.

It seems like nothing good happens overnight, so I’m in for the long haul.

The heat is on

We’re finally at the point where everyone starts complaining about the heat. That means the weather is just how I like it.

I’ve lived in famous hot spots, including Southern California, Texas, Alabama, South Carolina and Egypt. The Sacramento area can get pretty toasty, but comparatively, it’s minor league.

However, this is the point where I must modify some of my golf protocols. I experienced heat exhaustion once playing golf in Texas. Heat exhaustion is no joke, so this is my official warning to be smart about hot weather.

My number one tip is when it really gets beastly, do everything in the morning. I hate getting up early these days, but sometimes you’ve got to do it. The good news is you get done early and have time for a nap!

It’s not that bad yet. First thing is to dig the windshield sun shade out of the rubble in the garage and put it in the car. I forgot last Friday, the first real hot day, and wowser, that steering wheel was hot when I finished my round. Also, crack open the windows a tiny bit for air flow.

Cell phones are another issue. I don’t take mine with me when I play because I find phones very annoying on the golf course, but I need to turn it off if I leave it in the car. My phone started to overheat on Friday and went into that mode where it starts shutting down apps.

And then there’s my rig. I have a nice pushcart with a solar umbrella and a cup holder for a big bottle of water. I put a couple more bottles of water in a cooler that straps on. Included in this luxury set-up is a “cool towel” and a battery-operated fan. Oh, and a spray bottle with water. Spray some water on your face and stand in front of the fan — it’s like outdoor air conditioning.

Finally, I need to make sure I actually drink all the water and supplement it with an electrolyte drink. If I’m a little dehydrated, I can get leg cramps at night. A fellow golfer taught me a trick that is quite odd but very effective! Eat a spoonful of yellow mustard. It’s like a miracle.

Speaking of miracles, physical therapy is going exceptionally well. I’m there for my back, which is feeling great, but I have lots of creaky body parts. We’ve discussed my wrists, which I broke in 2010. Two visits to the hand doctor, and he says there’s nothing wrong with them, although I do have thumb arthritis.

Last week, the PT asked if anyone had ever done – something – and now I can’t remember what. But it involves manipulation, so I said no, no one has touched them. He said areas with past injuries can “lock up.” He did kind of a painful massage and then wrapped it in a thing that looked like a rubber Ace bandage. I flexed my wrist back and forth with that on, and then he took it off and said I was good to go.

I asked if I would need ice, because, dag, that little routine hurt. He said maybe but probably not. Anyway, it’s incredible how much better it is. Seriously unbelievable. I’m expecting him to do it again this week, and then I will have to learn about the long-term plan. I don’t suppose he can move in with us, so we’ll need to entertain some options.

Although I resisted physical therapy for a long time, and even after starting it, I thought about quitting, now I’m glad I stayed the course. Sometimes you need a little help.

While I do comment on politics from time to time, I try not to get crazy with it. There’s plenty of that to go around. But I hope you will allow one old lady retiree to say something about the latest NY Times report that Trump may owe the IRS $100 million in taxes.

First, I hate tax cheats. All of them. Because they steal from us. All of us. Dale and I dutifully pay our share without regret. It’s how our society functions.

We currently live on Dale’s military retirement and both our Social Security checks. We have not yet dipped into our investment accounts, which did very well under this so-called miserable economy. We had to pay the feds an extra $9,000.

Which we did without bitching about it, because those are the rules. Remember? Society functioning? It’s not just about you.

While I’m at it, there’s the issue with the Social Security trust fund running out of money in 2033. Congress is talking about future options, but I have not seen a discussion about raising or eliminating the cap.

You aren’t required to pay Social Security tax beyond the wage base limit, which is currently $168,600. That means all these people making the big bucks don’t pay anything after that. This whole problem could be solved by raising or eliminating that cap. Why isn’t anyone talking about this option??????

Full disclosure: I was one of those people who benefited from the cap, and it wouldn’t have killed me to pay a little more.

On the food front, I finished my last piece of birthday cake frozen from September! I needed to get that off the radar and make room for Dale’s birthday cake.

He turns 75 next week. I haven’t made cake for him in a few years, but the one he likes is called Chocolate Creole Cake, a recipe I received from my friend Beverly in Pennysvania. The recipe is in her handwriting, and it makes me nostalgic. Does that happen to anyone else?

Anyway, it’s a dense chocolate cake. Between the two layers is a filling of walnuts, pecans, raisins and dates made into a thick spread with sugar and evaporated milk. Then whipped cream goes on top of that. Add the other layer of cake and frost it with a spread made from melted semi-sweet chocolate and sour cream.

I love desserts, although I’m careful not to overdue it. However, I will say this. All the people who say, oh, it’s too sweet. Crazy talk! Savory food is different, but if it’s meant to be sweet, in my book there’s no such thing as too sweet. Nothing is too sweet for me. Nothing.

Less food, longer life?

Yesterday’s New York Times featured an article about calorie restriction and intermittent fasting – and whether they increase longevity in humans. It seems to work in animals, but they’re not so sure about people.

Part of the problem is cutting calories by 25 percent or more is difficult for mere mortals. Animals in cages don’t have a choice. Plus, there’s not enough information out there to confirm whether these tactics will help you live longer.

While I want a long and healthy life, I want to enjoy it with delicious food and can’t see going through all that deprivation just to sneak in a few more years. I always love the comments section, and readers did not disappoint. Here are some of my favorites:

  • For years I’ve eaten one vegetarian meal a day at lunchtime with a small snack in the evening. Now I’m almost ninety in excellent health. What has it gotten me? The chance to meet the coming Apocalypse.
  • I have restricted my caloric intake by 10% (but cutting added sugars), and practice intermittent fasting (16hrs;8hrs) 100% of the time. My triglycerides went down by 50%, and I reduced what little bit of joy remains in my life by nearly 90%.
  • If a person reduces her caloric intake, will she live longer or will it just seem longer?
  • The bottom line: Who knows? My 95-year-old mother has been overweight all her life, is still mentally sharp, lives independently, and looks about 80. Her skinny mother died at 63. I’m just hoping these things don’t skip a generation.

I said I wasn’t going to dwell on my back problems, because I know, it’s like, take a number, pal. But I’m hoping readers will appreciate progress reports on my treatment in case you are in the same boat. I’ve done a lot of work on the mind-body connection and how emotions impact our perceptions of pain, and I do believe that helped, but it’s not enough. Surgery and prescription drugs are options I’m hoping to avoid, so my current program is physical therapy.

The MRI of my back looks like a high school science project. I’m still not convinced they know what causes the pain, but so far the medical professionals have zoomed in on severe spinal stenosis at L4-L5. Most of my pain is not in the back, but in the left buttocks and down through my left leg.

It has been six weeks, and the first five were grueling. As I’ve previously reported, the exercises are designed to strengthen my core and presumably take pressure off the back. A month in, and I saw no noticeable improvement. I only hung in there because my massage therapist said I seemed more flexible.

At the start of week six, I suddenly noticed my butt didn’t hurt. Everything else is feeling pretty good, too. It’s quite possible I have stomach muscles. I feel more solid, if that makes any sense.

No Tylenol, no Advil. I complained to the PT that some of the exercises make my troublesome knee worse, and he threw in a couple more exercises he said would help both my knees and my back. One of them is lunges, which I thought would make the knee worse, but to my surprise, I’ve seen a remarkable improvement.

My plan is to keep going. I figure this is my big chance to do whatever I can to mitigate my symptoms long-term, and I don’t want to squander it. The PT said he would add some weights in at the appropriate time, and I’m excited about that. Not really excited, I guess, but I like the idea of increasing muscle as I age.

These exercises take about an hour a day, so I’ve just come to accept it’s one of the mandatory tasks associated with my new job – which is taking care of myself in retirement.

In irrelevant but possibly interesting entertainment news, I discovered a moral dilemma as I was watching TV. Warning – spoiler alert.

I subscribe to PBS Masterpiece and decided to try watching The Royal Flying Doctor Service. A woman doctor recovering from a messy breakup moves to Australia to work with the team that provides people in the remote Outback with medical care.

First day on the job – unknown, unproven, etc. and she beds one of the guys on the team. I’m anything but a puritan, but I was deeply disappointed and haven’t watched any more of it. I mean, that’s just bad form.

However, I also started watching Bones from the beginning. She’s a genius forensic anthropologist working with Booth, a hunky FBI agent, to solve mysteries of human remains. You can see where the relationship is going, so I cheated and went to the episode guide, only to discover it all happens in Season 6.

I’m at the beginning of Season 2, and now it’s like I’m on a mission to catch them in the act. I don’t know why I was so judgmental about the flying doctor but can’t wait for Bones and Booth to get this done already.

Such is entertainment, which beats politics hands-down. However, you know me, I can’t resist a political jab. If the Supremes say  the president has unlimited immunity, we are all in trouble, and it won’t matter who is or isn’t having sex on TV.

In closing, I offer up the following AI video for your viewing pleasure.

Esprit de core

I’m hanging in there on the physical therapy for my lumbar spine issues. I was close to quitting because everything hurt, but my massage therapist said she could feel a big difference in my flexibility, so I decided to stick with it.

And it has improved, so that’s all for the good. Some of the stretches are difficult. I told the PT I’ve modified the exercises a little, and he was OK with that. One of the exercises is called the dead bug. I said it makes me feel like I’m going to have a stroke, so I changed it up a bit and am now calling it the bug on life support.

At least he laughed. A key component of this program is to strengthen my core, which is non-existent. As we say around here, cores are for apples.

He said it’s about learning to isolate the stomach muscles, because that puts less stress on the back. I’m pretty sure most of the world walks around just fine without the ability to isolate the stomach muscles, but sure, I’ll give it a whirl.

Esprit de core. Spirit of the body? I know it’s really corps, but my version kind of fits, don’t you think?

I finally finished number 42. This one took me a long time. Some of that is because I work in the garage, and it gets cold out there. I do have a portable heater, but I’m reluctant to use it for some reason.

Although I like this piece, I keep thinking of the Progressive commercial about becoming your parents — the one where they make the woman get rid of her Live, Laugh, Love sign. So, this is mine, but I’m not getting rid of it.

I finally figured out how to see it enlarged. Just click on it! It takes a sec or two, but it will show up bigger.

My sister suggested I try an engraving tool to add a different element to my art, and I think I’m going to get one. That could be fun to play around with. If somebody had told me that my retirement hobby would be making art out of pallet scraps, I would have assumed they were smoking crack. Such a surprise to me, but I really enjoy it.

This is another busy golf week. And then we have a wine pick-up from one of the local wineries. That’s about a 30-40 minute drive one-way.

I never knew these clubs existed, but we have tons of wineries nearby. You join the ones you like for free, and you get free tastings. With most of them, you’re committed to buying a few bottles quarterly or something like that.

As of now, we’re in two clubs. It’s a struggle, but we manage (hee hee). This week’s pick-up is from Vino Noceto, which specializes in Sangiovese, one of my favorites.

Dinner tonight is what we call “Health Food.” Basically, a bean and cheese tostada with lettuce, tomatoes, onions, cheddar cheese and guacamole. Dale makes the beans from scratch, and look at all those fresh toppings! Hence the name.

Oh, and if you like the idea of non-alcoholic beer but haven’t found one you like, I highly recommend Heineken 0.0. I seriously can’t tell the difference between this and the real thing. I still drink regular beer, but I like having options.

Spring … so cruel

Once again, the bitter disappointment of spring is upon us. I hate that you get these beautiful warm days only to have it foul up again with rain and cold. Yes, I know that is the nature of spring and weather in general, but I think fall does a better job as a season. Much more gradual and consistent.

Still, last year I made a conscious effort to fully embrace the diversity of weather, so welcome, rain and cold. You rotten bastards.

We’re doing dinner Triple O or OOO (On Our Own), For Dale, that always means my homemade tacos from the freezer. My tacos are fried crispy, and Dale does a fantastic job of resuscitating them. I won’t make new ones until the freezer stash is gone, so he’s motivated.

I mix it up, but tonight I decided to eat my last piece of birthday lasagna. That’s from September! While I was rooting around in the freezer, I saw two sad and lonely pieces of my birthday cake, so I pulled out one of those for good measure. A little rain and cold deserves coconut layer cake. For breakfast.

While we’re on the topic of food, Dale corned a beef brisket. The first night we ate it boiled with potatoes, carrots, onions and cabbage. The second night he made Reuben sandwiches on his homemade rye bread, which by the way, makes delicious toast in the morning.

Sometimes I like rye toast with just butter, and sometimes I add a little bitter orange marmalade. Dale thinks it’s weird that I use both butter and marmalade, but I think it’s a great combination! Peanut butter is also good on rye, but for some reason, I don’t like peanut butter on sourdough.

Since many bloggers report on Thankful Thursday, I will share that I’m grateful we’re both obsessed with food and cooking. Aside from eating exceptionally well, I also believe cooking at home most of the time makes for healthy aging. I rarely eat any kind of processed or packaged food, and it’s my contention eating reasonably “clean” helps with weight management. I know it’s different for everyone, but that’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

I had my first-ever facial this week! I liked it very much and plan to go every six weeks or so to see if it makes a difference. I’m low-maintenance when it comes to beauty routines, and Tammy, the esthetician, totally got that. I said I’m not looking to get any younger, but I’d like to keep my skin looking reasonably good as I age.

She used very light microdermabrasion as part of the facial, and my skin tone definitely looks more even – lighter dark spots, less red. My skin also looks brighter and feels moisturized.

Tammy didn’t push products. She thought my CeraVe stuff from the drugstore was fine. The only thing I purchased was a bottle of Vitamin C serum. That goes under the sunscreen in the morning. She gave me a bag full of samples to try. One is a tinted sunscreen. I used that yesterday for golf, and aside from the sun protection, I liked how it made my skin look.

On the aches and pains front, I’ve decided to cut back on the rhetoric. As I was getting out of the car for golf yesterday, possibly grunting and groaning, one of the women who also deals with sciatica was getting out of her car. We’ve often compared notes. She said, “How are you?” And I said, “Hanging in there …” I’m not sure if I was going to elaborate or not, but she quickly said GREAT! and exited the scene at a high rate of speed.

I think that was a message to find something else to talk about.

On the entertainment front, I read March Violets, the first book in the Bernie Gunther series by Philip Kerr. Bernie is a detective in 1936 Berlin. The writing is quite sharp with that sassy hard-boiled dialogue we often associate with crime writers from that era – Raymond Chandler, Dashiell Hammet, etc.  

Anyway, I liked it a lot, but that Hitler stuff is pretty depressing. Not to go all political on you, but I do feel Fascism is a real threat these days, and not just in the U.S. So, I have to decide if I want to continue with the books. I also finally read All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr. Set during World War II, there’s also a fair amount of Nazi bullshit in there, but for some reason, it didn’t bother me as much in this novel.

Next on the reading docket are all the novels of Dashiell Hammet. Conveniently, they’re relatively short and all compiled into one book. I’ve probably read them all at some point, but I’m refreshing my memory before I watch Monsieur Spade.

When I first retired, I had a hard time reading during the day, but now I’m a pro. I still won’t watch TV during the day, though. I burned through all my favorite shows on PBS Masterpiece, and I’m currently back to Netflix with Resident Alien, a hilarious but kind of dark show about an alien who is sent to Earth to kill everyone, but it all goes terribly wrong.

Time calibration

I never thought I’d say this about retirement, but in some ways, time is harder to manage than money.

In the cosmic sense, you think, how much time do I have left on the planet? Another 20 years? Is this how I want to spend it? For the most part, I’d say yes, but then I wonder what I might be missing.

Mostly I avoid thinking about the cosmos as it applies to me. I have a good life and try to enjoy the time that has been given. Still, I’m wondering if I need a time calibration on the simple pleasures of day-to-day life.

I mean, I’ll get up early for golf if I have to, but that’s about it. I’m a fan of the slow start, which means a leisurely breakfast and a slew of puzzles from the New York Times. By the way, I’m loving the new game, Strands.

Then there are chores, exercise, reading, writing, streaming shows, travel, art and the art of food – browsing recipes, shopping for ingredients, preparing meals and enjoying the results! I’m sure the young and busy with their families and jobs and all that are thinking, oh, wah, how hard can it be?

Well, true, it’s not that it’s hard. It’s just that we older folks know the clock is ticking, and it goes back to that cosmic thing. Could I be doing this differently? The big thing for me is setting aside more time to write. Not only for blog posts but also because writers write. It helps me think.

I’ve been reading a lot, but I’d like to try more challenging material. I saw a paperback of All Quiet on the Western Front in our stash, and I barely remember it from high school. And other than one class in college, I’ve never taken to Shakespeare, although it might be time. I’ll need to be upright for that.

Snuggly reading under the covers is better suited for a good who-done-it.

Now that I think about it, I’m doing OK, but maybe a little less golf and a little more in the way of intellectual pursuits. Not that golf doesn’t fry your brain – just in a different way. Anyway, as I was thinking about how I live and spend my time as I age, I started a random list of questions I should probably work through. See what you think.

  • How much sleep is too much sleep? Do you have to stop at 10?
  • Why is everything better with butter?
  • Amazon or Spotify? Do I care what Neil Young thinks?
  • What counts as one glass of wine?
  • Acorn or BritBox?
  • Is it Friday or was that yesterday?
  • If you get up to pee three times in a night, does an angel get its wings?
  • What’s so bad about a gluten-rich diet?
  • Why is it always about the knees?
  • If I can gain five pounds in a week, why can’t I lose five pounds in a week?
  • How many Law & Order reruns can I watch? Am I wrong to love Lenny?
  • Kale. OK, but why?
  • Peeps. Crap candy or nature’s miracle?

There are more, but we’ll stop here so you can get back to the important things you were doing with your time.

When chiro doesn’t cut it

If you’ve been looking for a blog post from me, you’ll need to hack into my computer and search the trash, because that’s where everything I write ends up. I just can’t seem to get my shit act together.

In health news, my sciatica flare-up is now behind me. I’m still doing a lot of different stretches and strengthening exercises, and I believe they’re keeping me upright, but I probably need professional help. Seems like Dale said that, but I don’t think he was talking about my back.

A golf friend said she sees a chiropractor weekly, Medicare pays for it and she no longer has sciatica. I’ve always been afraid of chiro, but I made an appointment for an evaluation and took along the MRI of my back. I really liked the doctor, however, he read through the MRI report and said spinal manipulation probably won’t help me and could make it worse.

Rejected! I didn’t think chiropractors turned anyone away.

For you medical nerds, he said the reason for turning me down is the severe stenosis at L4-L5. I appreciated his honesty. He said massages and exercises that address muscles and tissue are good, so I asked my doctor for a referral to physical therapy. I think I’m already on the right track there, but a little fine-tuning seems appropriate at this point. That starts next week.

I’ve been reading a good bit, and it’s not all crime fiction! The list includes:

The Lincoln Highway by Amor Towles. I liked it a lot, but damn, that ending was not what I expected.

An Honest Man by Michael Koryta. After discovering seven men murdered aboard their yacht off the coast of Maine – our protagonist Israel Pike is regarded as a prime suspect. Let’s just say he has a troubled past. Highly recommended.

The Frozen River by Ariel Lawhon. It’s 1789, and a badass midwife in Maine takes on accused rapists, one of whom has been found dead. Or was he murdered? I loved this book!

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessell van der Kolk. This book turned out to be a bit wonky with lots of science and research, but I would consider it a must-read for trauma survivors. Having been raised by wolves, it helped me understand a lot about my own issues.

The Exchange: After the Firm by John Grisham. It was nice to revisit the McDeere’s, but I was a bit disappointed. The storyline wasn’t all that believable, and I think he missed some opportunities to add an unexpected twist or two.

Lady Tan’s Circle of Women by Lisa See. Based on a real person, this work of historical fiction tells the story of a girl in 1400s China who becomes a doctor. I enjoy anything by Lisa See, and this one did not disappoint. But man, that foot-binding is some bad shit. And eunichs! Lot of wrong going on there.

Now that I’ve branched out a bit, I’m thinking of trying science fiction again. High on my list is Dune, which we have at home in paperback. I asked Dale if he thought I could get through it, and he said yes, if I can keep track of the characters.

Well, that’s easier said than done.

In another important retirement development, Dale and I settled our argument regarding crumbs on the floor and the process for removing them. He used to think they disappeared by magic, but he now understands a vacuum cleaner is involved. And I do not have a vacuum cleaner attached to my hand.

To make everything easy-peasy, we sprung for a Dyson cordless stick vacuum and put it in a place with easy access for quick clean-ups. Now, everyone can participate in the vacuuming of crumbs!

On dying happy

Maybe you don’t know this, and I hope you have no reason to, but mastectomies can leave you looking rather mangled. In my case, I went for the aesthetic flat closure instead of reconstruction. No regrets, because either way, you will not look the same. Why do they call it aesthetic when it’s anything but?

Because lumpy was already taken.

Actually, I rather like my lumpy flat closure and find it freeing to be done with bras and all that. Still, I have a mess o’ scars, and my armpits ended up sort of puffy. Late last year, they seemed puffier than normal, so I thought it would be prudent to have them checked out.

As I was sharing my observations with the doctor, I said the whole thing could be my imagination. I can stare into the mirror and easily see signs of imminent death. She said you don’t have to explain yourself to me. You’ve had some bad stuff happen. It changes you.

I know you cancer survivors get it. The slightest thing can take the wind out of your sails. So, I’ve been a little worried about it. However, I am pleased to report both sides have been thoroughly evaluated, and it appears I have a simple case of puffy pits. I’m assuming it’s related to bulging belly and flabby ass.

The good news is I dodged the bullet yet again. I always say I’m one of the luckiest unlucky people I know!

But, jeez, you hear things. A friend’s husband stood up, got dizzy and fell, which resulted in a traumatic brain injury. She said he is recovering fully, although it’s a long haul. They have a new appreciation for the simple pleasures of life.

Another friend of mine was playing golf with her partner, and he had a heart attack and died. Boom, just like that. She said, well, he died doing something he loved.

Hmmm. I don’t know. Does that make it better? Maybe. Just maybe.

I was vacuuming the stairs last week and almost took a tumble. Perhaps they would say, well, she was cleaning the house. She died doing something she hated. That does sort of suck.

And so I try to make peace with the fact that death will come for us all, but I do hope it’s later rather than sooner. I’m definitely in the die happy camp and humbly suggest the trick is to stack the deck and live happy. Do more and more of the things you love and less and less of the things you hate. Relish the simple pleasures.

I’ve said it before. Dust ages well undisturbed.