Nothing and everything

Death Valley is a taboo subject at our house, but a couple of you asked what happened to that trip, so here goes.

As you may recall, Dale had been wanting to go in the dead of summer, while I wanted to go in the winter, when normal people visit. I finally caved and said, fine, we’ll go in the summer. We were scheduled to go smack dab in the middle of July. Plenty hot, one would assume.

But I had second thoughts. I mean, we’re not as heat resistant as we used to be. I had a million other reasons for not going, but Dale was excited. I’m not sure he ever understood death was not just a name but an option.

To help me plead my case, I found a video of a couple touring Death Valley in the summer with their two children. It was about 20 minutes long, and not the finest cinema out there, but it told a story.

Basically, they drove from one site to the next, got out of the car and then got back in before they died from exposure, never actually seeing the sites as they were meant to be experienced.

I made Dale watch the video, and he said it was 20 minutes of his life he’ll never get back. However, he also said it didn’t sound like fun to drive around all day after driving eight hours just to get there, especially when it was more of a whim than anything else.  

A whim was it? We agreed to cancel.

On the day we would have arrived in Death Valley, the temperature was 129 degrees Fahrenheit. I let out a big sigh of relief and said something to the effect of thank the Great Planner we didn’t go. I figured Dale would nod in agreement. Instead, he looked at me with disgust and said, “We could have been there.”

And that is why we don’t speak of Death Valley anymore. There will come a day when we will try again, but it is not this day.   

In other travel news, we’re doing an overnighter to Sonoma this week. I don’t expect any drama, but I’ve been wrong before. Oh, and my 50th high school reunion was this weekend, but I did not go. Certainly, there were people I would have enjoyed seeing, but I’m not good in large social settings. At other events, I have been known to find one person and cling pathologically to them for the duration, ruining their opportunities for what I’m told is happy mingling.

Staying home was the humane thing to do.   

You know I love reading a crime series. Up until now, I’ve concentrated on one series at a time. I was well into the Easy Rawlins series by Walter Mosley, when I saw a new Lincoln Lawyer book by Michael Connelly was going to be published in November. I decided to read those, too .

That went so well, I added two more to the mix. The Walt Longmire series by Craig Johnson and the Inspector Gamache series by Louise Penny. I’m surprised to find I like having a variety on hand, and it helps with library choices in case the next one in my queue is checked out.  Yes, I only read them in order and have a spreadsheet to help me keep track.

A word about Inspector Gamache. These are popular books, especially after the TV show Three Pines came out. I’ve checked out the first book, Still Life, at least four times but never read it. I finally said, this is it. Read this book or hide your head in shame forever!

I didn’t like it at first, because I tend to favor mysteries featuring the hard-boiled private investigator. But once I accepted it’s a different subgenre, I calmed down and began to enjoy the book immensely. The writing is so intelligent with spot-on literary and cultural references … but never pretentious. The setting is almost like a cozy mystery, but then there’s plenty of murder and dark despair to go around.

Maybe it was reading about the idylic village of Three Pines, but it seems there’s a hint of fall in the air, and I just want to cook, cook, cook. I love savory pumpkin dishes and have a decent collection of recipes I want to try.  How about creamy kale and pumpkin soup? That sounds great to me. Dale? Kale? Not so much, but he’ll eventually go along for the ride. Or a pumpkin stew with juicy chunks of beef and maybe some curry seasoning.

Sometimes I have to pinch myself. I still get asked, “What do you do all day?” Ha! Nothing and everything.

Friday traditions

We thought being trapped in the mud after the heavy rains would be the worst of it, but then, exhausted and still a little hung-over, we ventured out from our soaked and filthy tent to join 70,000 other desperate souls trying make their way home after an epic adventure at the Burning Man festival in Nevada.  

Um, well, not us, exactly – but somebody, maybe? Just having a little fun over here at Chez Boring … which is just how I like it.

No holidays where we have to fly anywhere, thank you very much. I spent most of the summer playing golf early to avoid the heat. I played with a guy the other day who told his wife he didn’t want to go anywhere anymore – just to the golf course and back. I bowed my head in silent admiration.

Oh, I got new glasses and had to drive 30 minutes to find the same frames so I wouldn’t have to get anything different. When I was online trying to find identical frames, I saw an ad for an optometric shop with the slogan “Life is too short for boring frames.” I was like, no, no, not for Donna. I’m sticking with black until something darker comes along.

Our Friday tradition is Dale’s homemade pizza and a movie. In preparation, we made a liquor store run to get “back-up beer.” We have a kegerator, and there’s no gauge to tell you when it’s getting low. You can pick it up and see if it feels lighter, but Dale prefers to go with my recommendation, based on my reputation as “the beer whisperer.”

What can I say? I just have this second sense when the keg is getting low.

A second keg will fit in there until the first one kicks. That’s the back-up beer. Today’s choice is Panic IPA by Track Seven Brewery. Before the pandemic, a few of us in the cul-de-sac used to have driveway parties, and Dale would wheel the kegerator out onto the front porch for the neighbors to enjoy. We were the envy of the hood, and not just because we’re young and good-looking.

Then everyone went inside their houses and never came out.

Tonight’s pizza has a OO crust topped with a creamy white garlic parmesan cheese sauce. Then two more cheeses – whole milk mozzarella and smoked gouda. The rest of the toppings are smoked salmon, capers, red onion and diced fresh tomatoes. It’s one of our favorites.

I’m not sure which movie we’ll watch. We’ve been focusing on bad 50s monster movies and have watched 30 of them to date! The Amazon watchlist keeps expanding. Most are pretty awful often involving an inquisitive scientist with a beautiful (unattached) daughter and a confident (unattached) military man sent to investigate strange goings on. Surprisingly, the monsters are few and far between.   

We laugh a lot, so there’s that.

I’m reading The Fifth Witness by Michael Connelly. This is book four of seven in the Lincoln Lawyer series and it parallels the second season of the TV show, which puts a different spin on the character Lisa Trammell. I like both versions, but they are quite different. There will be a new book in the series published in November, so now’s the time to catch up!

The weather is really beautiful here in Northern California, so we’re just trying to enjoy it. Dale and I always talk about hiking when it’s not too hot, but then we never do it. We agreed this week to try and do a hike every Thursday. There will be some weeks when it won’t work for various reasons, but I wanted to pick a specific day so when I book appointments, I’ll know to keep Thursdays open.

I know, so busy am I.

Oops

Never trust a writer. I thought long and hard about whether to quit blogging, and I finally decided to move on. Although I absolutely love retirement, my life is not particularly exciting. I figured everyone was bored.

I wrote the farewell post and pushed the button that said I’m outtie.

Your kind and generous feedback made me realize I don’t have to be anything other than what I am. I live how I live, and I write what I write. Thank you for helping me understand there’s a great group of people out there who appreciate my humble efforts. It’s not like I have to trek around the world backward and blindfolded to keep you interested. Sometimes you comment, sometimes you don’t, and that’s just fine.

It took less than 24 hours for me to realize I can’t not write, so I may as well do it among friends!

I’m not quitting. I’m sorry for the drama. I hope you’ll stick around as we return to our regular programming.

Moving on

Hello friends,

I’ve decided to shut down Retirement Confidential. I’ve enjoyed sharing this space with you, and I’ve learned a lot from your insights. Thank you for being part of my blogging journey.

As it happens, I love my life but no longer feel the need or desire to write about it. There’s something to be said for just enjoying the moment, and that’s what I plan to do. I may try my hand at other writing projects. Or maybe not. We’ll see what happens.

Again, thanks for all your support!

Donna

No such thing as bad weather

October will be six years since I retired, and I’m getting better at it all the time. I’m better at relaxing, not stressing out, not regretting and just enjoying the time that has been given to me.

I had my annual physical this week, and all my blood work came back fine, including my CA-125, which is a metric used in diagnosing and monitoring ovarian cancer. Mine was a perfect seven. I’ve been disease-free for more than 24 years, but every single time I see that number, I tear up. I feel so lucky.

For some strange reason, the dramatic weather associated with climate change is helping me accept the seasons as they come. My new mantra is there’s no such thing as bad weather. It’s just weather. Yes, it’s hot now, but it will be cool later. Enjoy each day as it comes.

I mentioned my new-found acceptance to Dale, who looked at me like I was from outer space. I mean, isn’t what everybody does? Not me – in the winter, I would complain about the cold. I couldn’t wait for summer. Then when summer arrived, I was mad it didn’t last long enough.

Now, I just want to make the most of whatever nature throws our way. Instead of dreading winter, I thought, well, I could start with getting a decent jacket. Look better, feel better, right? For the past eight years, I have been wearing a fleece freebie I got at a corporate retreat (complete with corporate logo).

As it turns out, Dale was also looking to upgrade his winter look, so we went to REI and threw some money at it. I got a cool black cropped puffy jacket from North Face, and Dale bought an REI puffy jacket in blue. I like how mine fits at high hip … much more flattering on me than mid-thigh.

We always joke it’s cold out when the Californians trot out the puffy coats. At least now we’ll fit in. Well, probably not, but it’s a start.

Books & TV

I’ve been reading more than watching. As per usual, crime fiction is my genre of choice, and I particularly love reading a series from beginning to end. I just finished book nine of the Easy Rawlins series by Walter Mosley.

Easy is very much the hard-boiled private eye, which I like a lot, but I also enjoy reading about the African-American experience in California – starting with post-WWII and currently addressing the Watts riots, also known as the Watts Rebellion. It’s interesting to see how Easy evolves. He’s an educated, self-taught man who can easily speak the King’s English or slip into a country dialect people often expect from a poor black man of his time. He uses both forms of communication to his advantage.

Sometimes I’ll hear about a new book coming out, but it’s not the first in the series, so I have decisions to make. I recently read a review of Evergreen by Naomi Hirahara, and it sounded great, but then I realized it was the second in the series. The first one, Clark and Division, was at the library, so I read that first and am now on the waiting list for the new one.

The story focuses on a Japanese-American family in California after the bombing of Pearl Harbor. Guided by fear and prejudice, the U.S. government incarcerates the family in Manzanar and eventually relocates them to Chicago. Rose Ito, the older sister, is sent first. The younger sister, Aki, is 20, and she and the rest of the family arrive in Chicago to find Rose has been killed by a subway train. Aki investigates the death, and the family tries to adjust to life in Chicago.

In addition to being an entertaining mystery, the book personalizes a tragic chapter in American history. And in California’s history. It does seem as though I’m attracted to historical fiction that tells the story of those who have been badly treated by the system, and sadly, there’s no shortage of material.

Another tactic is to re-read a series when a new book comes out. I saw a new Mickey Haller novel by Michael Connelly is due out in November. I’ve read some but not all of the series, so I decided to start at the beginning and picked up The Lincoln Lawyer from the library today. I just finished the series on Netflix, so it will be fun to compare and contrast.

Rambling Thursday

I bought a new car this week. My 2010 Ford Fusion Hybrid was a great car, and I gave it a proper farewell, but it was time to move on. The new one is a 2023 Honda Accord Hybrid EX-L. I had to wait for it, as they weren’t on the lots anywhere around here, and the first ones that came in did not have the blind spot monitoring system. That was a deal-breaker for me.

It’s a nice sedan with a real trunk for all my golf stuff, and it should average about 50 miles per gallon. After much deliberation, I decided I wasn’t ready to make the leap to electric yet.

The best part of the purchasing process was using the Costco Auto Program. If you have a Costco card, you can take advantage of prices Costco has negotiated with various automobile manufacturers or dealers. That saved me thousands of dollars.

The best part of completing the process is that I will not have to talk to a car salesperson again for at least 10 years. The worst part of owning this car is learning how to use all the new technology. Android Auto. Streaming music. Voice-activated telephone calls. I’m sure it will be fabulous. But right now it makes my brain hurt.

Our kitchen scale finally quit, so we’re on the lookout for a new one. Any suggestions? Dale remembered buying it, and he claims it’s 30 years old! Another sad farewell to a trusted performer. I was going to post a picture of it, but the scale actually looks like it died from filth.

Although I still measure stuff, I like when recipes include weights instead of volumetric measurements. I prefer grams over ounces, as I believe they are more precise. Especially when making bread or other baked goods, it’s great to just keeping zeroing it out and adding more ingredients to the bowl. Fewer dishes!

While we’re on the subject of food, I’ve rediscovered cottage cheese. I’ve been eating it because I like it, and it’s a good source of protein. I prefer whole milk dairy products. The skim milk versions don’t taste right to me. I mean, duh. And I believe whole milk dairy products are actually quite good for you. I’ve been trying different brands of cottage cheese, and today bought some of the best I’ve ever tasted. Kalona Organic Whole Milk Cottage Cheese. There’s a thin layer of cream at the top. I poured that off because I like a slightly drier texture. I had a hard time not eating the whole tub.

It feels like this post is a little disjointed. Then I remembered … it’s Rambling Thursday! I’m blaming it on a five-hour golf round yesterday with temperatures approaching 100 by the time we finished. It was a dumb thing to do, but golf is like crack, especially lately, as I’ve been playing rather well.

That said, I need to be smarter about dealing with the heat, and I will not be doing that again anytime soon. One day last week I teed off at 6:45 a.m. to avoid the worst of it, and aside from getting up and out the door quite early, it was rather enjoyable. Back in time to have lunch or even a nap! I’ve also decided it’s time to wear a rash guard when I swim laps since it’s an outdoor pool.

I’m not crazy about the extra layer, but every now and then I do the smart thing. It seems to me survivors might not be good at the smart thing, but we mostly avoid the big dumb ones. Sometimes, that’s all it takes.  

Enjoying the career afterlife

Although I absolutely love retirement, of course I understand there are some significant setbacks that can prevent us from having a wonderful time as we age. Sickness, pain, loss, loneliness, financial distress. Those can be very difficult to overcome.

Then there’s ego. You’re not all that and a bag of chips anymore. You don’t look the same. You miss being somebody. Sure, I went through a little of that, but it’s actually chump change and easy to leave behind. My advice? Let it go. Enjoy your career afterlife and save your strength for the big guns.

Lately, my career afterlife has been even more enjoyable than usual. I attribute a lot of that to my back no longer giving me fits. The official diagnosis was herniated disc at L4-L5, sciatica and spinal stenosis. The neurosurgeon said I was more active than most people with these problems and to consider myself lucky. Hopefully, I wouldn’t need surgery.

Everybody’s different, but I started reading about piriformis syndrome. Symptoms are similar to what I was experiencing. I found these exercises and for about six months now, I’ve been doing them daily.  Unbelievable. I feel like a new person. I still experience a little pain from time to time, but it’s no big deal.

On the entertainment front, I’ve been reading more than watching, although I did enjoy the latest season of The Lincoln Lawyer on Netflix. I seem to recall reading the first book in the series, and now I may go back and read them all.

Today was kind of a bonus day at the library. I went to get the next Easy Rawlins novel, and another book in my queue popped up. The book, Sing her Down by Ivy Pochoda, is described as a gritty feminist Western thriller. Sounds right up my alley.

Then, in the Lucky Day display at the library, I saw All That is Hidden, a new Molly Murphy mystery by Rhys Bowen. This is number 19, and I’ve read them all in order (as I am wont to do).  Molly is a detective in turn-of-the-century New York City. I usually go for the darker stuff, but I do like historical fiction, and these are highly entertaining.

Food-wise, we continue on our path of delicious eating. I made sourdough bread last week, but it didn’t last long. Toast in the morning, sandwiches for dinner one night and then served on the side for dunking with miso fish chowder from the freezer. Here’s a link to the recipe for the chowder if you subscribe to the NY Times cooking section. Dale’s from Maine, and he loved it!

I made the soup a few weeks ago and used frozen cod and added some shrimp. Instead of bottled clam juice, I pulled some homemade lobster stock out of the freezer. I made the stock with picked out lobster shells after Dale made lobster rolls a month or so ago.

The white miso was a game-changer. Now, I’m on the lookout for any recipe with white miso. Where has this been all my life?

Saturday I made quiche with bacon and Gruyère cheese. We both thought I used a little too much bacon, but it was still quite yummy. I used to make quiche in a deeper pie pan, but I’ve switched to the tart shell with the removable bottom, and we like that better. I prefer the tart pan because I pre-bake the crust for a bit, and you never have to worry about a soggy bottom.

Dale did a whole roast chicken yesterday, and I’m going to use the leftovers for Tom Kha Gai later this week. There are a million recipes for this Thai chicken coconut soup. I’ve been using this one for years.  I’ve made it both ways – raw chicken thighs or leftover roast chicken, and they’re both great.

I’ve been itching to make it because the recipe calls for makrut lime leaves, which are difficult to find. One day I happened to be in Whole Foods, and there they were! I bought what they had and froze them.

For the rest of the ingredients, we went to 99 Ranch, which is a fantastic Asian supermarket chain. They usually carry my favorite Chaokoh coconut milk, but they were out last time we were there, so I ordered it on Amazon. Thankfully, I saw it was back in stock today.  

I browsed the fresh noodle aisle while we were at 99 Ranch. Very interesting!! I’ve tried cooking Udon before but didn’t have good results. Maybe ramen?

My week in food

Sometimes I think food is the only thing that matters. Eat well, and all is well. We spend a good deal of our waking hours thinking about dinner, shopping for dinner and preparing dinner. Then there’s breakfast, lunch and happy hour, but I’ll save that for a different day.

News of the world has distressed me, so I’m trying to stay off the internet and focus on the simple pleasures that make me happy. That’s probably good advice for all of us.

I guess it’s not much of a blog post, but I thought, why not just list what we’ve been eating? It’s a pretty awesome list. Maybe not the healthiest – I’m looking at you dairy – but  awesome nonetheless. I hope reading about food takes you to your happy place.

Monday – Dale made grilled bison cheeseburgers. I made a grated carrot, fennel, hazelnut and orange salad to go with. We each had a handful of potato chips. The brand is Gibble’s. They are from Pennsylvania. The chips mysteriously arrive in the mail when Dale is left at home without adult supervision.

Tuesday – Dale’s homemade chicken tortilla soup from the freezer. We top it with crumbled queso fresco, diced avocado, fried tortilla strips and cilantro. Oh, and a squeeze of lime.

Wednesday: Dale made his original version of pork curry with green beans, corn and eggplant in a spicy tomato sauce. I made raita (cucumbers and yogurt) to go with. We also had a dollop of apricot chutney I made from some fresh apricots a neighbor plucked from his tree.

Thursday – I made whole wheat crepes stuffed with mushrooms and asparagus in a creamy pecorino Romano sauce. Spinach and arugula salad to go with. The mushrooms were cooked in a bit of water first and then almost caramelized with a little oil. This is my new favorite way to brown mushrooms.

Friday: Dale’s homemade pizza with whole wheat crust, shrimp, kalamata olives, basil, fresh tomatoes, habanero peppers and goat cheese. I pick the peppers off, and it’s still crazy hot. Dale is a machine.

Saturday: Donna’s tomato pie with cheddar cheese, basil and chives in a double biscuit crust. I used half lard and half butter in the biscuit dough, and we both thought it was better than all-butter.

Sunday: Grilled lamb chops with rosemary and garlic, grilled asparagus (the other half of the bundle I bought for the crepes) and tabbouli salad. Dale did the grilling, and I made the tabbouli, which is bulgar, tomatoes, parsley, mint and green onions in a vinegarette.  I was generous with the olive oil and lemon juice, and Dale thought it was a wee bit too wet. I thought it was perfect, but next time I’ll back off the juice.

Monday: Leftover tomato pie reheated in the oven.

Tonight: BLTs on Donna’s homemade sourdough bread. The dough felt kind of dry, but I got the best rise ever on this loaf. Great for sandwiches. Something to be learned there.

The tomatoes were late this year, but the farmer’s market starting carrying them two weeks ago. So, it’s really a race to the finish. How many tomatoes can we eat before the season is over?

Oh, and on the tomato front, upon a tip from the NY Times, I made a tomato sandwich for lunch one day with salt, mayonnaise and a generous shake of furikake, a Japanese seasoning made with sesame seeds, nori and maybe some salt and sugar. Delicious!   

Tomato Pie

Ingredients
  

For the filling

  • 2 pounds fresh tomatoes
  • 1 1/2 cups grated cheddar cheese
  • 1 cup fresh basil leaves, roughly chopped
  • 1/3 cup minced chives
  • 1/3 cup mayonnaise thinned with 2 tablespoons of fresh lemon juice

For the crust

  • 2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1 teaspoon table salt
  • 1 stick butter cut into 1-inch pieces
  • 4 teaspoons baking powder
  • 3/4 cup whole milk

Instructions
 

  • Peel and slice the tomatoes and let them sit in a collander about 30 minutes to drain. Freeze the butter for about 20 minutes.
  • In the food processor, blend flour, salt and baking powder. Add the butter pieces and pulse until the butter is roughly incorporated. Add milk and blend until it comes together. Divide the dough in two, and gently roll out the bottom crust, using more flour to keep it from sticking.
  • Line a 9-inch pie plate with the bottom crust.
  • On top of the crust, add the sliced tomatoes and then the basil and chives. Sprinkle 1 cup of the cheese on top, and then drizzle the mayonnaise/lemon mixture over the top and then add the rest of the cheddar.
  • Roll the remaining dough and fit it over the filling, pinching the dough around the pie plate to seal the edges. Cut several steam vents in the top crust and bake the pie at 400 degrees for 30 to 40 minutes, or until golden brown on the top and bottom.
  • Cool on a rack for a few minutes before slicing.

Juggling streaming services

I watch very little network television other than old Law & Order reruns, but dag, I do love the streaming options available today. I figured with all this great content, actors and writers would be making money out the wazoo. Apparently, that is not the case, as evidenced by the SAG-AFTRA strike. I hope they find a solution, because I can ignore a lot of bad craziness in the world if there’s something good to watch on TV. Seriously, it’s a quality-of-life issue.

Currently I subscribe to Netflix and Apple TV+. By the way, if you like crime stories, the six-episode series Black Bird on Apple TV+ is excellent. It’s based on a true story and was developed by the writer Dennis Lehane.

Anyway, two services should be enough, but it really isn’t. The problem is when I like a show, I eventually run out of episodes, and then I start shopping around for a new show until another season drops. I get done with a Netflix series and can’t find anything else that interests me, so I shop around over at Apple. When I’m done there, I hop back over to Netflix and hope for the best.

It seems to me if you had four or five streaming services, you’d have a ready supply of content, so when one series ends, another one begins. Theoretically, you’d always have a favorite in the queue. I’m not sure it would really work that way, but it sounds good on paper.

All that to say I’m thinking of adding STARZ and Hulu. That would seem to round it all out nicely, but I’m kind of a tight wad and feel so many subscriptions is perhaps a bit indulgent. The money is actually not a big percentage of my budget, so I’m thinking, why the hell not? It’s not like I’m stuck with some high-ticket item that never gets used. If my finances change, I cancel.

The last movie I saw in a theater was Wild with Reese Witherspoon. That was pre-pandemic, so I can’t blame Covid. There have been some that tempted me, but I always wait for it to come out on a streaming service, and I’m absolutely fine with that. The best movies seem to hit Amazon first, where you pay by the drink, and that’s OK with me. I always search for free content, but if it’s something I really want to see, I’ll cough up the money.

Oppenheimer would definitely make the cut when it lands somewhere after the initial run. This sounds crazy, but I suspect Barbie will be in that mix eventually. It just sounds like a fun movie, and I’m not at all bitter I never had a Barbie. My sister, who is two years older, got the Barbie, and I got a Tammy. She wasn’t quite as glamorous as Barbie, but neither was I.

As for reading, I settled on the Easy Rawlins series by Walter Mosley. The first four weren’t in the library, so I had to pay for those. The Kindle version was $14.99, which I thought was spendy, but I did it anyway. I’m about to start book five, which I got from the library, so it should be smooth sailing from here.

Easy is a black World War II veteran who leaves Houston after the war and moves to Los Angeles. I love the historical California connection, and I like Easy’s hard-boiled detective persona. In the novels I’ve read so far, there is a lot of tension between black culture and white society, and the author brings it all to life with larger-than-life characters and complex mystery.

When I sit down to read one of the Easy Rawlins stories, I feel like I’m slipping into that world … complete escapism, and that works for me.

Retirement phases

I’ve heard it said retirement comes in phases. One would assume it’s different for everyone. I only know when I retired, I couldn’t quite let go of the need to feel successful. That first phase was frustrating, because I was no longer particularly successful at anything.

My plan was to keep dabbling, see what interested me, what stuck. After five years of enjoying simple pleasures and indulging in creative pursuits, that burning desire to achieve something beyond daily existence started to subside.

The turning point was lunch with my childhood friend, who shocked me by the details she remembered from my troubled youth. Her insights were enlightening, and I came to realize my life turned out way better than anyone could have expected. And whatever success I had in my career was plenty.

In this new retirement phase, I feel different. Like I’m just part of the ecosystem, at peace with the rest of the flora and fauna that share this space, with no need to measure up or justify my existence. It feels great, although accepting that I’m enough has changed my motivation for writing.

For me, writing was often about trying to feel validated. But it seems I don’t need that validation anymore, so I’m in search of the sweet spot that’s more about creative expression and personal connections. I’m not sure how this new focus will reveal itself, but I’m thankful you read my stuff and hope you’ll go along for the ride.

Which brings us to a topic foremost on my mind these days, and that would be Ultra-Processed Foods (UPFs). They are getting a lot of buzz lately, so I read the new book, Ultra-Processed People: The Science Behind the Food That Isn’t Food by Chris van Tulleken.

The book is heavy on science, hence the name, and it tells a compelling story about the food industry … how and why it delivers tasty addictive foods that make us fat and unhealthy. Most of us realize by now that sodas, flavored yogurt, snack bars, frozen meals and the like are on the naughty list.

We don’t eat that stuff at our house. But I was surprised to learn some foods we eat frequently are UPF. Most commercial breads. English muffins! Some peanut butter. Flour tortillas. Some fruit juices. You have to look at the ingredients, and if it’s a long list of unpronounceables, you’re looking at UPF.

Are you concerned about UPFs? Do you have a strategy?

As for us, Dale and I agreed we’ll still eat some of the bad stuff occasionally, but we’ll make simple changes where we can. I bought some natural peanut butter, and I actually like it, although I miss the mouth-feel you get from the hydrogenated oils they add to the highly processed kind. We bake a lot of bread, so we can get around that one with a little planning.

The biggest challenge would be flour tortillas. They are a pain in the ass to make, but I see that day coming. Another option would be to check out the local mercados.  I would assume if they’re making flour tortillas from scratch at the facility, they don’t have all the extra junk added. I could freeze them.